Can't win

So gee what should I give up to get more sleep, have more writing time, better concentration at work? Move to Baton Rouge, the city with rent I can't afford to be closer to the bill paying job but away from the house I want to buy and keep in the family. And further away from family which needs me apparantly.

Bill-paying job? Yeah, I can barely eat with what income I have now. No income at all is the much better choice.

Online time? That has already gotten slashed dramatically and still no difference.

Writing? Let me go sharpen that battle-axe over there.

RenFaire? I'm doing as little as I can now, but I have to last the year.

Boyfriend? Oh yeah, that'll make everyone real happy. Mom will be happy cause I'll be sitting at home alone where she can watch me and then she can complain about me having no life again. My friends will be happy cause I'll be online to talk to them. I'll have plenty of time to write while I'm moping around.

I've been alone without a relationship of any significance for my ENTIRE life. I finally get one, and the council is from all sides is "gee you have to ditch something, your life is just too full. Dump the guy, you don't need him."

I'm a little miffed over having gotten no sleep, again. And that was as much my fault as Chad's. But that's an issue we have to work out.

As far as my math, something was wrong with the calculator. 12 + 4 = 16 That's exactly 8 hours left for sleeping, but that isn't enough since I have to get up at 5am (7 hrs.), don't fall asleep until 30 min. to an hour after I turn off lights (6 hrs.). So 5 days of 6 hours at the most is not enough. And the weekend catchup never works, just throws everything off and I'm in worse shape.

So I was right, it's not sleep deprivation psychosis. It's just operating without enough sleep period. Like the rest of the country.

Course I'm doubly miserable now because I can't breathe as well as wanting to crawl back into bed. Don't get me wrong. I love my friends, I love to visit. I just can't do it in the middle of the week.

Time for caffine.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: THE ABOVE RANT IS ONLY APPLICABLE FOR THE TIME IT WAS WRITTEN IN. THE AUTHOR DOES REALIZE NO ONE SERIOUSLY EXPECTS HER TO DO SUCH THINGS, AND IF THEY DID SHE WOULD BOP THEM IN THE HEAD. (Damn, no lime green color for text. That's not fair.)

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The BookWorm