Saturday, January 31, 2015


It nearly took a whole year but I finally bought the laptop I promised myself I could have after I paid my car off back in March 2014. I haven't had it long enough to see a difference in my productivity yet. But I have learned that my hands and trackpads don't mix. Takes too long to move the pointer, the pointer hovers over something and the computer guesses I want the program open or closed without my input or my too late input, and moving the cursor while I'm typing. Went back to a mouse happily, even if it's something else to pack. It's a Dell Inspiron 15, which I got a deal on because Dell was getting rid of Windows 7 merchandise and I'm still a state employee. It has a DVD burner, an USB 3.0 port, the rest are USB 2.0, and 500 GB. I'm saving the files to an external hard drive so to not bog the laptop down with anything that's not running the programs I need.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Hot Bod Third Try Fifth Month Update

So I figured I maintained through the holiday season. I ate too many sweets and didn't exercise, but I also stuck to my dietary changes and took my medicine and supplements. My weight reached 174 pounds at Thanksgiving and then bumped back up to 178 by January 8th.

But human nature being what it is, all I could concentrate on was what bad I had done. My bloodwork was done on January 2nd and I kept my expectations so low.

A1C = 5.5
Fasting blood glucose = 91

My endocrinologist was ecstatic. "Your A1C hasn't been that low since 2007." He didn't change any medication and I decided to bring that up when my A1C hits 4.x.

I'm not out of the woods yet. My cholesterol numbers show a high amount of inflammation in my body, so my next appointment with Dr. Jessica will start working on that. And my goal for this three-day weekend is to clean and set up yoga so I can do it easily when I get home.

Another side effect is my Jerkbrain/Fear Monger seem to have taken a permanent vacation. On January 1st I finished The Wayne Legacy's rough draft and looked around my office for what to tackle next. "Stellar Gift of Death's edits" and then I cringed waiting for the jerkbrain to start attacking me for letting that project go for so long.

All was blissfully silent in my head.

And I was absolutely flabbergasted. Don't get me wrong, I've been worried over the ferocity of the attacks to myself, the anxiety over submissions to the point where not working on original fiction was easier, and the growing thin-skinned-ness I've had over fandom wonk that used to roll off my back. I poked again. "Edit to a second draft and hire an editor for ebook publication." Nothing from the jerkbrain amid the excitement to be back in that universe again. Now it is possible to combat one's jerkbrain, but I haven't done any of that work. I just wrote fanfiction and started dietary changes that I detailed in Intentionally Left Blank: Hot Bod Third Try. The last time I remembered a jerkbrain outbreak was around September 4, 2014, when I was only fourteen days into the program.

The other piece of the puzzle was stumbling onto Epbot and reading her archive. This part from her A is for Agoraphobia post jostled back to the surface when I thought about how weird it was for my brain NOT to be screaming obscenities at me.

Next, I went to my doctor for a check-up. (Ergo that Halloween blood draw.) Since this next step will undoubtedly cause me more anxiety, I need the peace of mind that comes from a current clean bill of health. Not only that, there are several deficiencies that can cause increased anxiety: deficiencies of magnesium, potassium (both of which were critically low for me in the past), B vitamins, and even calcium.
Some of the same deficiencies I got worried about after reading Drug Muggers. Was my jerkbrain and the submission anxiety 95% biochemical?

I wish that was my only test, but last Friday I learned that my job may or may not be in jeopardy from the mid-year budget cuts that will force the Department of Insurance to layoff people. I don't feel like panicking nor is my back in knots. Boy, that was a case of not knowing how bad it was until it was over.

On a purely aesthetic note that I'm not using as a measure of anything, I bought new pants with Christmas gift cards and the three I bought are all 14s. I don't remember when I was last fit into a 14 anything. Now I just have to hem the suckers so I can wear them.

Read Free!
The BookWorm