Wednesday, October 17, 2007

And now we want you to fly

And no, not in a good way. In a what-do-you-mean-you're-not-Supergirl? way.

I know the biggest part of why I'm upset is because I do procrastinate horribly but I am working my ass for this class. But I have three absences because I didn't fling the door open and say "HERE'S KINDRA!" when I got in late. Which is every class. Which I TOLD the professor at the first class. The reply: "You shouldn't have signed up for it if you couldn't make it."

And I don't have enough leave to take off for a semester's worth of classes that the Department of Insurance doesn't reimburse for. And I can't leave early. And there are no faster ways through the traffic unless the Governor lets me park a helicopter on her helipad. And I can't fucking drop the class now.

The professor was about 1/3 decent about it after I calmed down. I've had others that didn't give a shit about the roll or always noticed when I walked in the door. I'm going to feel so fucking stupid coming in the door saying "Coates, present." But if I have to do it for the next month and a half, :p But dear Lord and Lady, THIS is why I'm fighting apathy so damn hard in this class. It's hard to try you absolute best when the doubt is sitting in the back of your mind that you're going to be flunked despite that.

I immediately had a crying jag on the way home that I'm only just now over. Yeah, hormones have shifted, the little bastards. It's just another example of how this university swears they are commuter friendly and then shows they aren't. Like all night classes start at 5pm. Hell, the community college in Baton Rouge offers 6pm now. Like scheduling a graduate student meeting for the English department and wanting our input for 3pm. Yeah, you really want the opinions of your nontraditional students who WORK! (And I wasn't the only one effected but one of the few who isn't graduating this semester).

I'm not ready to quit as of yet. But if I'm told that I can't start on my thesis hours and I have to fill the next semester with more bullshit classes I don't have the time or energy for, I don't know if my reaction will be hysterics, quitting, or tying a red sheet around my neck and heading for a window.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

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