Flashback Dec. 19, 2003

Office party for Christmas today as well as one of our student worker's 21st B-day. And I'm going to have to start loading my car at night. Her birthday present is sitting on my desk with the rest of the office Christmas gifts.

Got the newsletter emailed out and some new people have joined the list; people whose emails I don't recognize. :D

Alt. BM Site's update is delayed due to financial considerations. It does give me time to work on the graphics.

Weekend plans: Mythos LARP at the Faire site. I need to establish my NPC bard character. I've bought a leather-bound journal to write in while I'm playing.

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The BookWorm

New ideas

I plan on uploading the update for Alt BM on Jan. 5th. That should be enough time for contributors to get their submissions in. Everything else is due on Jan 19th.

My big new idea is called "Flashback." Occassionally, I write myself dated notes and in an effort to clean out notebooks, I'm posting them in the blog. Saves me from having to come up with new material on the days when I haven't got anything, and also lets you into this wacky brain of mine a little more. Right, like you really want to know more. Those entries will be titled "Flashback" with the date, so you're warned.

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That's All I Ask of You

Oh it was beautiful. The Saenger Theater's Italian Baroque style fit with the stage scenery for Phantom of the Opera. And I loved how they shifted to different locations of the opera house with the minimum of sets. Highlights would be the crashing chandelier, the elephant for Hannibal, the moving staircase as the actors went down into the basement, and the candles that came up through the stage floor. I'd love to see how that was managed.

I took yesterday as my be-a-lazy-bum day. I refused to get dressed and spent the day coloring desktop wallpaper, and trying to organize the From Mars archive into something I can put up and people will be able to use the links inside it. I also finished the second story in the Evil Jack series "In Sickness." *Shrug* It was my lazy bum day and I wasn't working on anything I didn't feel like. Which means original works have become too guilt ridden and a must-do.

I will get back to them.

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The BookWorm

What a week

We have been so busy at work, I haven't had a chance to type in the blog daily. I doubt next week will be much better since all the renewals are due by January 1st. We went to my sister's for Christmas and had a lovely time. She got Phantom of the Opera tickets for me for tonight. Course her way of keeping me in the dark, left me the distinct impression she needed my boyfriend and I to help her move. My boyfriend would have appreciated a heads up on what clothes to get though.

The other odd thing was I went and took pictures of Normal Hill, which is the oldest part of campus and I have always gotten strange vibes from it. I was hoping for something to submit to Ghoststudy. I took the pictures with my digital camera, put that camera back in my purse and left it alone. (That would be how it traveled up to Natchitoches.) Go to download the pictures this morning and there is nothing on the camera.

Oh well, so much for my ghostbusting. Have to go get ready and get the new printer installed.

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The BookWorm

Daily Report

I'm still speechless. Return of the King is phenomenal. No scouring of the Shire, but I understand stylistically why Peter Jackson changed it. And the Witch-King's helm crumpled like tissue. *Insert jumping up and down and giggling* And I want Eomer's helm. And shiny pretty swords for the hacking and slashing. And the green Arwen dress Museum Replicas is selling is in the movie, but I still say that is an ugly green. I'd rather have the riding dress or some of the velvet she wears. Or Eowyn's dress.

Editing week this week and I'm working on "The Rose." It dates back to 1996/1997, when I thought I could create a short story collection of rewritten fairy tales. It's my "Beauty and the Beast" story with a science fiction setting and unhappy ending. In an undetermined future of Earth, the people who have settled in space have ended up mutated and passed those mutations to their children. A mutant goes to Earth to discover what happened to her brother. In my original version, the Beast died of a broken heart when Beauty rejected him. I decided that's not realistic enough for any of the characters. Probably influenced by Emmett Till's murder story, but I think it will work to crystallize Beauty's characterization. And I thought I was wasting time with Crime Library.

Writing, I haven't been able to make much time for. Tonight I need to go home and work on web updates. The newsletter needs to go out; I really need to put up a sign-up box here as well.

Alt. BM Site needs the most work I'm afraid. We have to get set up for no-ads and FoxFire's Palace sub-domain. I need to make graphics and tweak others. Nothing too hard, just time consuming when I'd rather not spend my time at home. And tweaking the wall paper, I always forget that.

And I have to go to the store and get the sandwiches for the party at work tomorrow. The bad thing is that store would put me halfway to where I want to be instead of home where I will work. A laptop would come in handy for these situations.

I try as hard as I can to stick to the update schedule, but I have to admit the days do slip by. I should have the update ready for tonight. I'm not even close. Though the big deal is to get the no-ads and sub-domain done. I can finish the rest of the tweaks later. But all this blabbing about it doesn't get me any closer to finishing.

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The BookWorm

Don't expect to accomplish anything

It's Return of the King night.

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The BookWorm

No time for anything fancy

"How many great literary works were written in totalitarian nations or under societal pressures, such as obscenity laws? Outlining seems like no restriction when compared to the rack or a firing squad." (J. Madison Davis Novelist's Essential Guide to Creating Plot 45)

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The BookWorm

Monday morning

Well, I got a lot done, but precious little of it was writing. Okay none of it. A writing schedule goes out the window when you have a boyfriend to go see. I'd bring my writing with me, but I know I wouldn't get anything done.

I do have two days this week to get some headway. Nothing will happen Wednesday night but "Return of the King." And I have to go Christmas shopping.

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The BookWorm

So little to do, so much time

Strike that, reverse it.

I just remembered that I have to updates due next week: the newsletter and Alt. BM site. And the website needs more work done on it.

One of these days I will have this stuff done way before time.

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The BookWorm

Megadoses of Vitamin C

Felt physically like crap yesterday (and the Blogger system wouldn't let me on to put in an entry). Felt worse today and took myself to the doctor. Probably just the common cold, bleuh! Currently taking over the counter medicine that was recommended and if it doesn't clear up in a week, time for antibiotics.

And I got a new (to me anyways) washing machine. But it needs a little help. Balancing and it's leaking from the outtake pipe. And on the last load I put in it, it decided to go waltzing across my back porch. All I know is right now I'm in no condition to deal with possessed appliances.

Writing isn't going as well as it should. Today I was occupied by trying to get to the doctor and trying to make sense of my money. Fun combination :p And this weekend isn't shaping up to be a catch-up weekend on it either.

Oh well, if only all my plans that go astray were for such wonderful reasons.

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The BookWorm

Well, Mom is happy

"Now we just have to find a man for Kai" was her exact quote. *Snort* My sister looked none too pleased with Mom's offer for matchmaking. I had to tell Mom because I got home about 10 seconds before she did, and her shift is from 2pm - 10pm. The last thing I want is for her to start panicking that overtime is taking that long.

No sugar yesterday (HUZZAH!), but no writing either. *Blushes* Gee, funny how I don't feel guilty about missing those two hours.

Lunch is almost over, so I best wrap this up. Here's to hopefully getting over on time tonight.

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The BookWorm

Walking on Sunshine!

Okay I think I finally got the white space I want with post titles.

Faire is over with for another season. And as usual, cast awards party is on the coldest night of the year on Saturday. And I didn't get any of the pig! *WAHAAA!* That's okay, because our scullery boy, Brian, promised more pigs for next year. But Sunday was bright and beautiful to end the season with. We had a cast wedding (a real wedding), and it was a beautiful ceremony. The bride was our Lady Scarlet O'Hara (not her character or real name). In Gone With The Wind, Scarlet makes a dress from curtains to try to woo Rhett. Our Lady Scarlet was stationed over in Iraq up until our second week, and came back with a new gold and white dress--made from curtains from one of Saddam Hussein's palaces. For her favors, she cut up the skirt because "everyone deserves a little piece of Saddam."

Faire season is over, and my diet and writing schedule begins today. Which I'm sure is confusing most people with the title I picked for this post. Maybe it doesn't if you know the song. I don't think I should say anything else; I don't want to jinx it.

MeatLoaf is a good choice for composing right now also. *Smiles* So yes, I'm in a good mood despite the pain in my foot and back and the six or seven buckets of mail facing us today. And I don't know what weekend we'll have free to do site pickup.

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The BookWorm

Not Enough Hours in the Day

My to do list is huge (no big surprise there). Overtime at work (K-time really doesn't feel worth it). An hour long commute back home. Is it any real wonder why I don't feel like doing anything when I get there?

I didn't think so.

Once Faire season is over, I'm restricting my sugar intake again. I'm sure part of the exhaustion is fluxation in blood sugar levels.

And during the ride home last night, I came up with my writing project list (the stuff that hasn't been regulated to the work on it in the next decade list). 10 items at different stages. I decided that the only way I'm going to make any headway into that list and make it a list of eight stories in submission land is to put myself on a strict writing schedule. Not counting overtime, I work 40 hours a week. If I can plan to spend 20 hours a writing tasks only, I should be able to conquer the list without much pain. And it should give me a good foundation for when I can quit the other job and live off my writing. It's an hour long drive and I have a vivid imagination.

2 hours a night Monday through Friday equals 10 hours plus 5 hours Saturday and Sunday equals 20 hours. Of course, it has to wait till next week to get started. :p Here's to setting goals for myself.


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The BookWorm

Finding it funny...

that I was the one who was badgered into keeping one of these and now seem to have more daily posts. Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.

Tickets have been bought for Dec. 17th. *Insert evil giggles here* Bring on the orcs! Bring on the orcs!

In related news, I liked how one hawker for a jewlery booth was taunting kids last Friday at Faire. "I have the One Ring and you don't." The booth has replicas. Also has hair twists which is what I advertise for them.

New website because I brought a new pretty Scrimshaw on Crystal. My coworkers have already gone snarly at me for showing them this website.

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The BookWorm

Time for Writing?

Doesn't appear to be much. Overtime is kicking into gear at work, and I'm exhausted and wired on caffinne by the time I get home. I did get more of the chronological plot outline for the Chosen typed last night. The next step once I finish that is to create the novel plot outline (deciding when ancient history will be revealed to the protagonists) and expanding into the scenes I will need.

Which, when I stop and think about it, is the same level of work I put into the crossover.

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The BookWorm

Bilge Pump Weekend

*Giggle* I got new CD, I got new CD. Yes, the Bilge Pumps were with us for the entire Thanksgiving weekend. Not as good as having them for the entire Faire run, but better than not having them at all. I bought the third CD for 4 songs ("Donkey Riding,"--and they think we give them hard cities *snicker* "Roll the Old Chariot Along," "The Dark Lady," and *yelling* "OLD DUN COW" MACINTYRE!!!!!) and "Pirating the Seas" and "The Night Pat Murphy Died" are loads of fun during the stage shows.

Maybe more later today.



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The BookWorm

Apparantly I missed everyone last night

But I am trying to spend time with my baby sister who has Thanksgiving off but not Christmas.

Finally got Java fixed on IE. And then discovered I am missing the Notepad replacement program I liked. Opened multiple windows without opening multiple versions of the program; came in wonderfully with web editing. Now apparantly is no longer available for download and I don't think I have the setup file anymore. Yes I am burning copies of that stuff now.

I also learned how you save your saved emails with Outlook Express. Too bad I learned it AFTER I lost everything that was in it when I reformatted the harddrive.

After reading "Novelist's Essential Guide to Crafting Scenes" and "Novelist's Essential Guide to Creating Plot," I'm trying to work on the Chosen's plot according to the workshop practices. I have a better idea where it's headed now, but I still need to iron things out. And having written stories with and without plot outlines, I have to agree with Davis' assessment: those that say they don't plot have the entire plot (or nearly the entire plot) worked out in their heads.

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The BookWorm

I'm officially finding therapy

... once I have time for sessions. Last night was not a good night, and I'm going to leave it at that. No sense ruining a new day with old mess.

On an introspective note, I guess I'm just too high strung for everyone. And I can't figure out how I've gotten this way or why it's the first thing to come out when I get home. Which is why I think I need professional help.

In the meantime, I'm going to start enforcing the "leave me alone for 30 minutes" rule.


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The BookWorm

Back to work

Monday morning and time to get back into the shortened groove of things. That's right only 3 days at the paying job this week, due to the Thanksgiving holiday. Course my holiday is really only one day because I have to go work the non-paying job at the RenFaire.

"Write a little everyday" is the advice I got yesterday. I'm going to work harder at it.

"There's theater and there's firearms." A patron got under my skin critiquing how I was using the dueling pistol that is one of my props for my pirate captain. Good thing I don't load it. :p Anyways, that's the new reply we came up with after he moved on. I will be more careful with the dry firing that I do, but I do need it cocked when I have to put it in a patron's face. And yes, I had to do that with different patrons going where they're not supposed to be. Had one smart-alek point out I couldn't shoot it uncocked.

Onward to what I have to do.

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The BookWorm

Where I disappeared to

*SIGH* Where to start. I pulled a stupid while trying to install Windows XP on my D: drive. I ended up having to backup everything and reformat the harddrive in order to fix it. Only that screwed me up worse because I don't have any of the emails that I had saved (as well as my setting for Outlook Express) and the downloaded programs don't want to work now. I will be burning copies of those installations next.

While I was still dealing with that crisis (and having no modem connection as a result), my cousin was killed in Texas. He was drunk and walking on I-59 and was hit by an 18-wheeler early Sunday morning. We've been dealing with that since then. The funeral was today. He would have been 33 in December; I can't remember the date now.

So I'm slowly getting my computer back to its former operational status. I'm back online now, but still no real vacation.


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The BookWorm

Slow starting days

I do like this. Not having to rush. Unfortunately, just because I have time off doesn't mean I'm not working. I've been putting in a lot of physical labor at the Faire site, getting ready for our two student days. Today I have to go help move more benches and make sandwiches. I'll be sure to tell you when my arms fall off.

But before I go, I will be cleaning my office. This is ridiculous. The stacks are going to attack me.

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The BookWorm

Nothing like being clean

Technically today is a state worker holiday, so unofficially the first day of my vacation. Got sleep, had bath, now I get to go build benches. Yes, I know, rather silly to take a bath before a construction project but when I get home it will be a "soak away pain and dirt" bath and I didn't want to shampoo my hair.

Other plans: clean office (at least find my desk again) and work on the Chosen.

And I can't hate the radio station anymore. I complained last week that they had changed formats without warning. Well they also brought back my fave morning DJs Bo and Beth. I wasn't the only one who missed them. :) So I can deal with all the mellow music.

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The BookWorm

What I Would Like to Get Done on My Vacation

1). SLEEP!
2). A chapter of the Chosen
3). Finish the graphic work on the Library & Alt. BM
4). Benches
5). Sandwiches
6). Cleaning my office
7). Cleaning the back porch
8). Cleaning my car
9). Massage
10.) Write a few more tutorials

*Snort* I'll get 2 things done at least.

And I may finally be on TV!!!!!!! The Brit Chicks from the Scott Rogers show came to the Faire and taped the entire joust. I hope I'm not edited out.

My vacation starts Wednesday, but I got an extra day since Veterns' Day falls on Tuesday. Yeap, we've got it off. I'll be building benches, so how much of vacation will I get, I don't know.

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The BookWorm

Okay nothing is going to happen

I said that renewal season is in high gear. You see everyone that is licensed to sell insurance in Louisiana have to renew their license every two years. Which means we get to process checks every year, because Life&Health get even years Property&Casualty get odd. 40,000 Life&Health due before Jan 1st, 2004 and they were just mailed out Nov. 1st, and the smart people sending in now.

But what this means is no more fifty projects to work on while at work. I simple don't have the time anymore. So just bringing the Chosen and some reading material and that's it.

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The BookWorm

Almost done with the week

I had trouble getting to sleep last night and feel like blah. The fog doesn't help. And yes, I'm talking about actual fog.

Renewal season is kicking into gear.

My sister will be with us the entire week of Thanksgiving, probably at my house.

Writing News: Got the book buying page set up. Just have to add a few more books with the new tutorials. Going ahead and coding the new ones now, and working on a few things for Alt. BM Site. Then working on the Chosen.

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The BookWorm

Another night off

I hadn't planned on it, but I didn't get home until 6:40ish, after waiting for over 30 minutes on a pizza. Tuesday night bad for pizza, got it already. So I ate and watched Labyrinth, and was struck of the similarities between Jared the Goblin King and Eric the Phantom of the Opera.

Speaking of Phantom, I know what I want for Christmas! It's coming to New Orleans from Dec. 10th - Jan 4th. The last time it was in New Orleans was my senior year of high school, and trying to get the tickets for my birthday fell apart. Hell, I even tried to organize a field trip show and that fell apart. I am going this time even if I have to sit under the chandelier.

Well it wasn't a total night off, I did get a few more chapters of The Complete Guiding to Editing Your Fiction read. Found the chapter on pacing too.

Writing News: Finished typing GG#6. Now I have to create the selling book page. Also did a little brainstorming on the Chosen, not as much as I like but I have an idea of how the antagonism is going to work. Is it possible to come together and function as a team without liking one another? Now having typed that, I realize it's close to the premise of the crossover, and that I haven't ironed out my premise for the Chosen yet. Add that to noddling pile.

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The BookWorm

Tuesday is the suckiest day of the week

What the heck is wrong with radio stations? Just yesterday 92.3 was Awesome 80s. We don't have any other stations that play all 80s music. This morning they're lite rock. We have a gazillion stations for lite rock. I so wanted to call in and complain but didn't have a number. Probably a good thing.

Internet News: Did hear from my friend Jazz, so she is okay. :D And it looks like some of the plans for the Alt. BM Site are shaping up. Since it is now officially November, I have to get cracking.

Writing News: Well, I was confused yesterday. Had brought the commuting notebook in a different pocket of my satchel, but left the notebook with GG#6 at home. Today I have both.

Typing GG#6, planning and research on the next tutorials, website work, and the Chosen.

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The BookWorm

Monday Owies!

RenFaire Update: Saturday's gate count was 935, which is really good considering that the competition was the day after Halloween parties, All Saints Day activities, LSU Homecoming game, Voodoo Fest in New Orleans, and probably something else I'm forgetting. Don't have any numbers for Sunday. The experiment around the lake is great. We just want the bloody temperatures to drop.

And I want to stop hurting. I can't remember if I took a muscle relaxer last night. I think I did, but woke up with calf muscles that didnot want to move. On top of feeling like I could use another hour or two of sleep. Just get me through this week and next week I think I only have to come to work one day.

I still have to check on my pirates. One of them went down either Saturday night or Sunday morning and his friend took him home. A guard in my area had fun on the Front Gate and dislocated his shoulder. And one of my squires's broken boots gave her a hairline fracture. Well that's one way to get a new pair of boots for Christmas.

Internet News: FoxFire's Palace isn't the only site not working on the host, but I'm still annoyed about it. My friend Jazz has canceled her blog, but I haven't deleted the link yet. She hasn't answered my email either and I'm worried. I can't fly to England this month.

I think I can put pictures in this blog, but I haven't figured out how yet. May work on that tonight. Will be working on uploading the Palace if I can get the info, graphics if I don't.

Writing: I took Friday off, and no writing will get done during the six weekends of Faire (one down, 5 to go). Today, I want to do a little bit of editing on a fic in a mailing group I'm in. I think I'm typing GG#6. And I need to write ahead on the Grammar Guides, Editing Lessons, and Miscellanous Concerns like I am with Writing Tutorials. Less posting work I think. Need to work on the Chosen, at least brainstorm on how I want the opening to go.

I did find my commuter notebook, under the car seat where I had checked when I got gas. :p But I have left it at home today. D'uh!

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The BookWorm

Happy New Year!

Samhain is the Celtic New Year. We call it Halloween now.

I won the honorable mention in the Department of Insurance annual Halloween costume contest. Pic will be coming soon somewhere.

Rest of day is just goofing off today.

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The BookWorm

RenFaire Dreams

Though more accurately, I casted fellow participants into a fantasy dream. The highlight was when I was in stage combat with live steel with a Scot. Now mind you, in real life, I have no combat experience. But in my dream, I ended the fight by grabbing his sword arm, holding it against my chest, and putting my sword to his neck. I like that move a lot, so I'm tossing into the story pile.

Speaking of stories, I've lost my commuting notes. :p I keep a notebook in the car to write in while stopped at red lights. I had it yesterday when I hit the Interstate at Denham Springs. So it's either lost in my car or lost in my house. I partially searched the car while cleaning out the garbage and didn't find it. I also looked over the kitchen, but didn't see it. But since that's the last room left to clean, I'll probably find it tonight. Now I should ask myself why I always leave the kitchen for last.

Last night I didn't get as much cleaning done because I stole the TV while I was at my parents' doing laundry. Finally got to an episode "Smallville" and a new episode of "Angel" (a show I followed so faithfully before no cable time). "Smallville" was amusing, how they tied in solar flare and the effect it would have on the solar battery Clark Kent and introduced Perry White played by Michael Mcean (ouch, I think I butchered that name). I recognized him from Radioland Murders and Short Circuit 2. "Angel" was a Halloween episode and poor Lorne. If you all thought I was bad with no sleep, at least I'm not an empath demon.

To Do: GG#6, work on updates, and graphics.

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The BookWorm

Do all the idiots have to use my route too?

Okay, I'm scrambling this morning to get ready because today is interview day. Spent 10 minutes trying to iron the hem to stay up in the blouse of my Tara Diddle suit. (We ended up stapling it once I reached work.) I have to take a pic of this suit; it scary similar to what the reporter wore on Biker Mice.

Anyways, I'm cruising along I-12 when the radio people tell me that there's a wreck involving two 18-wheelers and a car on the interstate at Denham Springs. Huge problems already because everyone fleeing Baton Rouge has moved to Denham Springs. I get off at Walker to get on Hwy. 190.

Hwy. 190 is crawling too. The radio people come back a wreck a mile past Walker on 190 and another wreck on I-10 that's affecting the 10/12 Split. (Actually it's a split and a merge, but the Split part got the name.) So I get off 190 and head for Magnolia Beach bridge, which is my last shot at crossing the Amite river. It is clear, HUZZAH! But still getting to my job via that route made me 30 minutes late this morning. I didn't splutter to bad getting in, just asking why they can't have their wrecks on the other side of the Mississippi River. And then my coworker found my car keys on the outside of my car in the door lock where I hadn't locked my car.

And the day hasn't even started yet. LOL

There was some confusion over Xant's dragon child. He's in the adult Zack picture I made with Hero Machine. The story isn't up yet, due to needing to rewrite the next two novels in the trilogy.

My books finally came in yesterday. *Happy dance* Started on Editing Your Fiction first, since that's what I'm in the middle of more or less. I like this guy already; he harps on theme and premise as much as I do.

To Do: the Chosen, GG#6 (I hate the verbs), and more house cleaning. I got my bedroom and living room done. Now I have to start laundry. Need to call Kai and tell her to make sure the washing machine is empty for 6pm.

Provided the idiots don't get in the way again.

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The BookWorm

According to CNN

They did a story on a guy with a blog about living in Hong Kong, and reported that most blogs are owned by teenage girls and are updated twice a month on an average. Hey! I beat the statistics!

Today is a new day and going to stick to diet. Well when I say diet, it basically means no sugar. I'll be exercising tonight; my back is killing me and needs a workout.

Played with Hero Machine last night. Kira sent me the URL. It's a flash program that allows us drawing incapable people to click a representation of characters. I tried making Allie and an adult Zack since they didn't have an age variable. I like how the adult Zack's expression and Xant's dragon child--who really needs a name--came out. Who's Xant? Boyo, I really need to work on getting that triology of stories rewritten and in the Library at some point.

Updating sites: I need to work on the Library and Alt BM a little each day, offline stuff. I'm tired of doing the mad dash to complete the update in the week before it's due. I have a few behind-the-scenes stuff to do, time consuming unfortunately. Good thing I have a couple of months before new stuff has to go up. :)

To Work on Today: GG#6, the Chosen, website design; if I get a bloody chance between mail runs ARGH! What do you mean it's already here!

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The BookWorm

Weekend Catch up

Last free weekend before LRF's opening day. We've got stables and some new benches and a mostly cleaned out concession stand and I have done everything I can do.

I'll have to get the construction projects for next year on paper so they can get approved to start in January. And of course let's not forget the new official Faire clean up day/weekend.

Alt. Biker Mice Site update was finally finished, and I have to thank Vinnie2. After all the griping he has done about artifacts in pictures, I did a little research and figured out how to clean up the logos for the site. Once I'm through with the testing process, they should be ready for the December update. Of course, I have lots of plans for the Dec. update, but when will I have time to work on them?

Mail's here already, damnit. I'm not through updating.

Need to do: GG #6 wite and type, (Pacing should be an Editing Lesson topic), the Chosen more typing and editing if I get to it, play with graphics at home.

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The BookWorm

Today's Random Comments

Working on the update.

Everything got fixed between me and the newbie author.

Nothing else to rant about.

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The BookWorm

Insert eye roll here

I hurt a newbie author's feelings. I suppose it's not her fault that I've stopped giving critiquest at Red Sands. I put a lot of effort into London's stories only to never even get a "thank you for reading" comment. Much less any revisions.

I doubt she'll like my expanded response much better. I'm not in an editing mood. And calling what I wrote at FF.net a blast doesn't speak highly of her desire to want to get better. But maybe there's hope that she actually read comments. Then again probably not.

I hate being a heavy. I hate it worse when I'm right and have to be the heavy on it.

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The BookWorm

Elrond Explained

*Snorts* T Campbell (writer of Fans) found this website explaining Elrond's behavior and attitude from Peter Jackson's movies: http://www.dallasifgs.org/cmte/jb_elrond.html

Enjoy!

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The BookWorm

It worked sort of

Well I got home on time yesterday and plopped into bed and couldn't sleep. Exhausted but couldn't sleep. Aggravating no? Time to up the exercise regiment.

Finished typing up the tutorial on cliffhangers only to find that it is really on trilogies. Either need to write more tutorials on cliffhangers or edit. Not sure yet.

To Do: Type in changes to Chapter Three of the Chosen, write GG#6, work on update. Need to get more of the Chosen printed out to find good bits I want out of it. Also need to get the other short stories that need tweaking printed. But use of the printer depends on how close my supervisor is watching it.

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The BookWorm

Staying up tonight

That's right; I'm going to stay up all night! Turned on the porch light cause I won't be home till 3am. Going to complete ignore everything I have to do typing and update-wise.

Yesterday, I went in for a massage for the first time. A college buddy's boyfriend is licensed. I'm going to need a lot more work. It helped but I need to work on my relaxation. I can't let go. Practice I guess.

To Do: Type in the changes to Chapter Three of the Chosen, write GG #6, type the writing tutorial I have written ahead, work on the update for Alt. BM. I'm going to try to look at my computer at home today so I can cross something off the list.

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The BookWorm

The Chosen

Some may know, The Chosen is an original science fiction novel, much flawed, and I'm currently working on revising it. Well when I work on it. I'm pushing myself to find the time and desire. Time constraints should ease now, and since I've made progress, maybe the desire will get stronger.

That's right, progress. I finished marking my changes for Chapter Three. Most of the principle characters have been introduced or alluded to (there's still one bad guy that hasn't gotten mentioned yet). And this is the point of the manuscript where my new ideas diverge widely from what I had written before.

boldly going indeed.

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The BookWorm

Late start

So much for going to bed early.

I bought my elf ears and finally made it to Our Lady of the Lake at 6pm. My great-aunt (the wife of my grandfather's half-brother) was mauled by their pet Rottweiller a week ago. She's in good spirits and has a good outlook. Two bad spots one on her arm and one on her leg. There is some fear that she may lose the leg, but she's not ready to accept that yet.

I stayed about an hour, then hit Wal-Mart for the rest of my shopping. It was 10pm before I reached my door. Course I'm too awake at this point, so I watch a new movie, actually the director's commentary and the deleted scenes for Monkeybone. It's silly, I love Brenden Fraser, and it was cheap on DVD. And just a little tidbit, it was supposed to be Stephen King as Stephen King but two weeks before they filmed that scene, he has infamous accident. So it is an actor, but he does a marvelous job for the three or four lines he has.

To Do List: Finish the update stuff offline tonight, work on Chosen, and GG#6.

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The BookWorm

Reminders

I have to go grocery shopping at Wal-Mart tonight. Need to buy elf ears at Party Universe on Drusilla Lane, and see my great-aunt in the hospital.

New item: promotion interview Wed. Oct. 29 2pm.

Stop using "what?" My coworkers that are the same age of my parents find it disrespectful. I think I use it because I see them as peers just older, but I guess I'm going to have to stop that.

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Weekends & Peace keeping

Hey, the new schedule actually gives me time to go grocery shopping. WIGGY! Now will Wal-Mart actually have any Claritin D when I go tonight? They didn't this morning.

Weekends are gone bye-bye now. RenFaire has pushed into high gear now. We've got construction under control, and dress rehersal was a great success.

I hope by the time I get back online for chatting, the others have worked things out. Time is too short to be sniping over perfectly valid opinions.

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The BookWorm

Perfectionism

I destroyed my chance for a good night's sleep last night again, but Jazz and I had a long talk through IM. It was a good talk, since she pointed out what's wrong with me and I listened. My perfectionism is killing me.

I suppose everyone reading this who knows me (I suspect the majority of my readers) is having a duh moment. The epiphany is all mine, though I suspect it's more a case of being so frightened for my mental health I was able to hear it for the first time, and hopefully be strong enough to reclaim my life.

It scares me how fast I can switch from enjoying myself to everyone's attacking me, I'll never get the project finished, and I'm a total failure. It happens quicker the more exhausted I am and since I'm almost always exhausted... why don't I just throw in a maltov cocktail into the mix?

Striving for a perfect product is a good thing of itself. But I'm like an alcoholic, I can't stop. My balance and sense of self-worth plummets in the onslaught of the relentless perfectionism. The weirdest thing is it never surfaces with the work itself. The project can be flowing wonderfully, right on schedule, and then something else makes me feel like I have screwed it up beyond recognition. And I take it out on other people. It's not a behavior pattern I'm happy with.

I don't really know how it developed. It's been a behavior pattern for so long, I can't remember a time when it didn't happen. There must have been a time where I was willing to give myself some slack. There must have been a point where I learned this stressed out, tantrum throwing, fighting back against attacks that don't exist way of relating to my friends. It's a testament to their character that they're still my friends.

Enough analysis, what steps am I taking to reclaim my life? Less Internet for one. The daily stuff--reading the comics, columns, and this blog--I'll do first think in the morning. Then it goes off. Email I'll get and I'll arrange time to chat with people. This starts next week. That will give me time to take care of my updates for both the tutorials newsletter and Alt. Biker Mice Site.

Cutting back on the sugar. As a carbohydrate-sensitive, all it does is make me fate and give me violent mood swings, probably fueling my addiction to perfectionism to the extreme it is now. Plus I'm looking really chubby around the middle and shedding that will make a load of difference.

Cutting back on the caffeine. I'm not drinking enough water, and the caffeine is keeping me from sleeping. Constant state of dehydration also effects my mental state. Hopefully, less caffeine will lead to my next change.

Getting more sleep. The alarm clock is changing back to 5 am. The exercise at 4:30 am is not working. Also I'll be going to bed at 9:30 pm. No more 11 pm nights. And this better help with the excessive tardies I got flagged with in my annual review.

Getting more exercise. Since 4:30 am isn't working (no matter how energetic I feel for the rest of the day I can only do it two days), I'm moving it to 6 pm when I get home. Hopefully that'll give my body enough time to slow down for sleep. But I have to do something about my level of physical fitness and the extra weight. Diabetes has done too much damage in my family. Besides, exercise is supposed to be a mood enhancer too.

This was supposed to go out early this morning, but apparently there was a brouhaha yesterday that I missed due to class and every time I thought I had a free second, it became meeting time. Now that this is finished, it is time for bill paying.

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Running late today

Home a whole 2 hours early and does anything get accomplished? Hell no.

I will not be staying up till 11pm tonight tho. It was nearly impossible to get up this morning.

Suska made me go all bouncy this afternoon though. Her new pic is awesome, awesome, awesome. She better show it off. She so better show it off.


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What the hell happened?

Class was great and sparked a lot of new ideas. Unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to work on any of them yet.

Got home and got an email that one of my pirates has to quit. Then I get the IM from one of my four now three squires down past New Orleans way. She just found out that #4 and the one with the car has up and moved to Georgia. Well we think we have their rides ironed out now.

So out goes the "come on be honest with me" email. Last workshop is the 18th, dress rehersal is on the 19th, and opening day is Nov. 1st. There is no more time to recruit new people. I can deal without pirates--even though I'd hate to lose Marco and Polo--but I absolutely have to have squires. At least tell me now so I'll have my fits over with before opening boom.

So now I'm going to try to work on the update and put this aside for now. There's nothing I can do about it.

So why do I feel like I fucked up as a leader?

Oh for those that don't know, this babble was brought to you by !The Louisiana Renassiance Festival

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Access class and webpage brainstorming

The Access class is for work. Two days and hopefully I'll understand what I'm doing with my book catalogue at home now. *Sigh* I liked the Lotus database. Too bad the version I had refused to run on Windows XP when I upgraded.

As for webpage brainstorming, I have lots of plans for Alt. Biker Mice Site. Some of which are going to be slowly introduced into the site so updates will happen on time. Also as a reward for those who contribute in a timely fashion. Hopefully in a couple of updates I'll just be left with the vanished ones to upgrade.

*Sigh* And just found out via email that something is wrong with the FoxFire's Palace pages. Another item to add to the to do list.

To Do: Well, because of the class any web work will have to wait until I come home (but I come home easrly for 2 days straight yeah!). Writing on the Chosen and Grammar Guide #6, both which are going no where fast.

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Day Two

Here's to hoping I've learned how to use this things a little better.

Some conclusions I need to address.
1). I don't get enough sleep. Alarm is set for 4am so that I will exercise from 4:30 to 5:30 then get dressed and be out the door to drive to work at 6:30am. Needless to say, the exercising doesn't happen and I'm hustling to make my 6:30 out-the-door deadline. I go to bed around 10pm.

Well I counted, that's only 6 hours. Going up to 8 hours of sleep would put me going to bed at 8pm. I don't get home until 6pm. Haven't figured out what to do about it yet, but this sleepy feeling doesn't help anything.

2). I'm ruthless with a story. Vision is true and I don't compromise for anyone. Yet I'm afraid of hurting people's feelings when I'm just me and not avatar story vessel.

I sympathize with Carbine, but I can't say I like her. Considering that I correctly hypothesized her existance before season two started, I suppose I should like her more. I guess I'm getting better, considering that I killed her off in Jack-of-all-Trades. So why does it worry me so when I think someone is putting me in the Carbine haters club? Is it cause I don't hate her but haven't gotten to explain her side of the story?

Plans for today: Have to work on the Alt. BM update; the Chosen, type the extra tutorial I have already written, and write Grammar Guide #6. I also need to work on getting more exposure to the books for sell through Amazon.

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My First Post (that has come in second)

Well, this is my first post. I have succumbed to peer pressure and got me one of these silly things. I'm hoping to use it as stress relief so to stop having what is called my "blow ups" at work.

Well I think I figure out why this hasn't showed up. No title. So here I go again.

The BookWorm

New first message (since it won't put it up)

Well, this was my first post.

quote: "I have succumbed to peer pressure and got me one of these silly things. I'm hoping to use it as stress relief so to stop having what is called my "blow ups" at work."

It refused to go up and I thought the title was the problem. So I tried editing it with an added message.

Quote: "Well I think I figure out why this hasn't showed up. No title. So here I go again."

It still refused to post and I'm seriously peeved at the whole damn process, so here's my third attempt at my first post.


The BookWorm

Why do I still have only one post?

Okay, this is the third one. I have about 15 minutes left to lunch to actually get writing done. Gee that's not happening today. And all I see is the stupid second post and not my first that should be second. This is VERY frustrating. Red, why did you suggest this to me?!!!!!!

The BookWorm

Trying to make something show up

This is frustrating. It told me that it has published so I should be able to read it. Hell no I can't read it yet, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. All I do know is I'm wasting valuable writing time trying to figure this out.

The BookWorm

Flashback September 8, 2003

"Rose" and "Oak" need some extra polishing. "Love" is out. Everything else is ready to go minus the fact I don't know where to send it.

Need to Do
1) Finish TMNT & BMFM pages
2) Finish typing WT #25

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The BookWorm

Flashback September 5, 2003

Nonfiction writing is moving at least, and so is website work. Fiction is not. I know I have to get stuff in the mail. What do I have?

Dreams of the Dead - fantasy/supernatural/horror
Underneath the Colored Lights - mystery
The Rose - science fiction
Elizabeth's Oak - fantasy/supernatural/horror
Father's Love - science fiction

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The BookWorm

Flashback July 25, 2003

Need to work on so much, but I'm so tired, I can't really think straight for writing. At least coloring is going well

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Flashback June 4, 2003

My back is killing me, but "Lights" is finished. I don't think the two are related.

Now what I have to do: 1) Gather all stories I think are publishable. 2) Print out the submission chart I created. 3) Find a market for each story. 4) Mail out. 5) Keep track of progress on chart. 6) Rewrite "The Chosen" and Zy's novel. 7) Edit the crossover.

Quite a list, as usual. Plus the jobs, plus the housework. *Cringe* So much to do and I'm so tired.

Can't think of it like that. Have to concentrate on one thing at a time.

Also I'm going to need more shelving. But where to put it? If I build or get a better entertainment center, that will open up the CD spot and the stereo nook. But can I build a nice entertainment armoir in the space I have?

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The BookWorm