Maybe it's a good thing Chad's not my biggest fan

Revenge on David Willis, his girlfriend got a little upset over Walky's death. Incidently, the comic is now "It's scratched-out" or the "comic formerly known as It's Walky." The fans haven't made up their minds yet.

In other good news, Savannah's finally going to St. Jude. We've been steadily getting pissed off at her doctors in New Orleans; it looks like they're just letting her die. They delayed chemo for weeks and refused to do radiation at the same time. Said the tumor was too big for that. Her father's sister finally got a hold of a doctor at St. Jude, and the doctor was furious. Something to feel hopeful about in that case.

I'm going to tour the downtown YMCA today, starting exercise there tomorrow. I measured myself and I am a perfect hourglass shape: chest and hips are the exact same size with a six-inch difference at the waist. Now I just need to lose 10 inches in those three areas.

I've given up on Nolan. I was going to work on the other characters, but I decided I best switch projects until Nolan starts cooperating. Which means I'll be working on EL #7 today when I have time. I have another expedition to the library to see if they've found the other Gary Izzo book and a couple of exercise books I've read parts of and was impressed with.

House news: still no date from surveyors. They have one more day before I make their work hours living hell. Note: need to buy more phone minutes so I can make their work living hell. And the first thing I have to do after I close is build a fence. You know, I'm just overjoyed with the fact that after I make an offer to buy, worked out what I'm going to buy and for how much, am just a few short steps away from having a mortgage for the next 30 years of my life, my cousin just waltz his trailer next door.

If I wanted people living right on top of me, I would have moved into an appartment. Of course the next thing he's going to do is move in his dope addict relatives in friends. Hell, he was told no he couldn't connect to my sceptic tank and was going to do it ANYWAY until the inspector told him it was too small for that many people. Next thing will be trying to steal my water.

I just hope his trailer is on the right side of the line. Because he's going to have to move it since his eager ass couldn't wait until after it was done.

The main issue it boils down to is it wasn't worth nothing until I wanted it. Same thing went for the house and now the land. And for some sick reason, my paternal grandparents think my uncle is entitled to the best portions of their inheritance, while my father and aunt get nothing. I know from past family experience, family never does anything fairly. Which is why I sidestepped them all with buying it. What my grandmother should hae done was agreeded to sell me the whole 8 point something acres, and then we wouldn't have to be making contingency plans for their eventual eviction.

I hope Joe's ill-tempered Canadian hockey players are still in town.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

A little bit here, a little bit there

I found the library book. For some reason I had never unpacked it. Bizarre, I remember unpacking it. Maybe what I don't remember is putting it back in the bag.

Finally got a chance to crawl into bed at 8:30pm. WOOT! Yes, this was a big deal, I badly needed to catch up. I delivered the dead computer to Chad and nearly went to sleep on the office couch while he was getting it from his car. Mustard whined all night long, yowling to go outside. Since I didn't find him till 9pm the night before and it was already dark when I got home, no. His yowling woke me up at midnight, but I rolled over and ignored him.

In other issues, I want to blab about editing thoughts. An attempt to corrall my thoughts and work. On the other hand I'm not crazy about having my unfinished throughts critiqued. So I guess I best leave it out of here.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Working on the killer

Here's what I have in background stuff so far.

When?
Nov. 26 – Dec. 4, 1999

Where?
Natchitoches, Louisiana

Nolan Wiggins – murderer
Our murderer will be evil. – always acts out of his own self-interest
Our murderer will not appear to be evil.
Our murderer will be clever and resourceful.
Our murderer will be wounded.
Our murder will be afraid.

PHYSIOLOGY
18-years-old. Stays clean-shaven, no noticeable problems with acne, with cropped black hair. Bright blue eyes. Polished is the adjective that comes to
mind.

SOCIOLOGY
Grew up in a suburb of Shreveport. Parents well-off, middle class, and gave Nolan everything he ever wanted. Made straight A’s all throughout school, winner on the high school track team. He never could connect with other people; they were all
stupid. Much like the animals he would trap and torment. He skinned the neighbors’ beloved pet cat and left the remains on their doorstep when he
was ten.

He despises his parents’ values. He is meant for something better than their mediocre existence. Soon animals lost their appeal, he wanted a real challenge, an opponent that would fight back. Not that there was a true opponent worthy of him; he’d beat everyone.

PSYCHOLOGY
Girls, they all want a free ride and they use sex to get it. Only worried about their looks and who they bagged. To be sure, there had to be one worthy of his intellect and his favor, but the others needed weeding out. It is survival of the fittest in
the world, and he is the fittest.

They make the perfect target, those beautiful, vapid girls. All caught up in what sorierity they want to join and giggling their way through classes. Teasing and flirting to get what they want. No use to society except for pleasure. And they have the potential to recognize danger, but have squandered it on fashion instead.

RULING PASSION
Plan the perfect crime. So many had tried, and failed miserably. He would succeed. The world would condemn him for taking out so many vapid wastes of genes, but in time, after his post-humous confession, they would see his genius.

I'm trying to get away from the main character constantly talking to themselves. Looks like I'm scrapping the whole beginning and speeding it up a notch. Jotting down story notes while waiting for class. Also should give the students some more 3D interaction.

Go ahead and put the story in a different font for now. We'll have to figure out something else if that doesn't work.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

How the heck did I lose a library book?

Screenwriting for Dummies, I haven't had a chance to even read it. Where the heck is it?

Brought "Underneath the COlored Lights" to work on today. It's been waiting for a while.

T off on honeymoon, Jazz offline, Red must be busy with new job. Not too lonely.

Very sleepy. I'm swear I'm curling up to sleep early tonight. Stop laughing at me; I know that's what I've been saying for the past three nights.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Editing week

And the only thing I have to work on is EL #7. And I missed my deadline for this month's tutorial. *Bonks head on desk.*

Chad and I talked. My usual issues, I suppose, combined with two helpful insights. We're both way too used to being single so we don't explain what we really mean to each other. And my job overlaps with his job better than his job overlaps with mine. Which I think means I can help him and he can't help me, at least that's the sense it made last night. Then I get resentful because I'm already crammed for time as it is, and writing is the first thing to be cut. I feel like I've got to be the heavy to get what I need, and then I feel guilty.

Oh well, let me get somethig done before the mail gets here.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

October

Well I would have hoped the Modo and slavery post would have gotten at least one response. *Shrugs*

T and her Josh are finally married. Her blog didn't mention killing anybody, so I guess it all went smoothly. Congrats!

Current internal debate: health vs. writing. I've been watching everything that goes into my mouth and no pounds have been dropped. So evidently I have to up the exercise level on a daily basis. Current recommendations are people need 30 minutes of activity a day. If exercising for weight loss, you need more than that.

Unfortunately, it looks like the only time I have to put an hour of exercise is 4:30 - 5:30 while I'm in Baton Rouge. My writing hour.

I've tried the getting up early. I can't keep it up. I can't exercise when I get home, I don't sleep.

But it also leaves me with the problem of where to put writing time.

Regardless, I only have the month of October. After that, renewal season starts and I'll be working that hour or longer.

The weight issue is pressing because of the helath problems that run in my family. Goddess, I'm going punning again. It's not that I'm a bad weight or size, it's just it all tends to be front torso weight (sign of potential heart attack) and the diabetes and insulin resistance.

If I could exercise in the car, I wouldn't have to give up writing hour. But it's the silly concentrating and no wreck thing with driving. :p

I still have lunch to writing during. I'll just have to be more diligant about actually writing.

I don't think I'm that undecided about this. Scary.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

So I'm A Fan

There are four web comic writers who constantly surprise me with logical plot twists I don't see coming and the horrible things they do to their characters. The people I aspire to be: Maritza Campos (College Roomies From Hell!!!), T Campbell (Fans!, Rip & Teri), Graveyard Greg (Gaming Guardians, The Guardians, Powergamers), and David Willis (It's Walky!).

I recently found out that David Willis and his friends back in their fifth grade created the cast of characters he reused in It's Walky! They ever created a series of computer games. Way before Willis started Roomies in 1997.

I still have my stuff from the fifth grade--the same time period I started writing in. I couldn't create a seven-year-running comic strip off of it; it's not that good even with tweaking. On the other hand, that was also the time period in which I brainstormed Allie and Zack and Lissa. So it's just my original stuff that's garbage.

*Bonks head on desk*

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Head Alien Cheese killed Jason

*SOB* Jason was my favorite. No superpowers other than being a Briton, surrounded by superpowered goofballs, constantly saving the day regardless, in love with Sal since before It's Walky! started, finally TOLD her today in comic time, and gets smooshed and exploded by a Martian regen ship. And how do we know it's permanant? He and Tony are gone from the banner. And it probably took Lilith and Hooper's head out too. :( Can I still have her Ash pose on a poster?

On the other hand, I want to nominate Head Alien Cheese as evil villian genius who has actually grown the most over the span of the story.

Still holding out hope that they're not dead, because Head Alien Cheese is an evil, lying bastard. And I agree with Joel Fagin (forum boardie) that especially Jason's story in the strip is incomplete. Now if Jason is soul sucked up into the Cheese that still makes him an active player. And Willis hasn't said "yes, they're dead, Jim." *Clinging to hope*

And who would have thought I'd title a post that?

Finished group script edits yesterday. I don't know how many will actually be incorporated. Actually won't hurt my feelings all that much, because I think it's the roughest draft that got critiqued by the pros at London's school. 2 marks against technical stuff (character descriptions and camera stuff) and not enough character development. I would like to know if my edits help in the last regard.

Working on Blue Man totally today. Need to writing up the GG on Cliches and finish tweaking the next WT, but all that stuff is at home. So back to Blue Man and character creation. Or at least everything that needs to be written down about the characters. Also need to reread the section on short story mysteries in Writing Mysteries, but that book is home too. :P So much for the joys of packing light.

And I didn't get the FAFSA filled out last night. Waited so long to get ahold of Chad, by the time I got online I just had enough time to send out some neglected emails. And I'm still not sure if I have to fill the parent info out or not.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

It better be bloating

I finally got the doublet to a trying on point and it's too small. *CRYING*

Okay I do realize I may have made the seams a little wider than necessary. I have a tendency to do that while sewing. Here's to hoping I lose 10 pounds and the corset performs a miracle.

Finished editing Act 2; if the paying work stays light today, I should finish Act 3 and be finished until there is something in Episode 2. Though I am anticipating some bickering over Act 2. You can't copy "Rock & Ride" word for word. And Chad pronouncement that I'm working with a bunch of amateurs doesn't excuse them. They should have learned what plagiarizing is by now.

Okay mini-rant aside. Depending on what time I get home from measurements tonight, I should clean up all my math papers and apply for the FAFSA. Which means I'll actually be online some portion of the night. Woot! An accomplishment.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Work on a Tuesday

Tuesday probably is the suckiest day of the week. You can't convince yourself that you're any closer to Friday and you don't have Monday's work load to distract. And I'm messing with my fingernails, a sure sign I'm procrasinating.

So what do I have to do?

Buy fabric for corset after work.
Got caught up at Red Planet already.
Finish Group Script since I've become editor/the-one-who-makes-it-cohesive/the-one-who's-going-to-get-yelled-at-because-I-won't-let-them-quote-the-original-series-verbatium.
Work on Blue Man.
Apply for Federal Financial Aid, grad school, and taking the GRE.
Finding prep materials for the GRE.
Eat lunch.

Corset I'm not sewing; I'm paying for. My skills are not up to that. Blue Man I want to work during writing hour today, so it looks like fun with the group script during lunch.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Monday, *sigh* Monday

I want to work from home. But if I worked at home, I wouldn't be working right now. Well, actually I probably would--it is noonish--but nothing I'd be getting paid for. Insanity reigns.

Have some enthuastic pirates. Enough for a whole crew, things are looking up.

Money situation should be ironed out October, Novemebt or December when I finally get to close. On the not cool hand, my cousin wants to be my next door neighbor. Here's hoping that actually making them pay for a septic tank makes them change that idea. Mom and Dad are furious; I'm pricing castle walls complete with boiling oil pots and hedges for my side.

In other news--like I don't already have enough on my plate--I'm considering going back for my Master's. Pros: 1) Southeastern offers mostly night classes (or at least have this semester), 2) as long as I am taking one class I don't have to pay Sallie Mae loans, 3) I can use loan money (which has the lowest interest rates available and I don't have to pay while in school) as a second income. Cons: 1) Fighting the traffic to make it to class, 2) Fighting my procrastination with assignments, 3) $115 for the GRE test that I have to take before I get in--ugh, they told me I should have taken that the year I graduated.

I'm going for this for the Spring semester that starts in January. No sense dwadling over it. That just makes it take so much longer.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Flashback

I'm tired. I'm tired of my schedule being the one that is totally disrupted whenever something is planned. I'm tired of having so much, too much stacked on my plate. I'm tired of not writing at all on the weekends.

What the hell did I do, London? How many fanfic archives do you think the fandom can support? Have I ever made your work feel unwelcome at Alt Biker Mice Site? Course it could be she has ADD and I'm taking it way too personally. I do suffer from that. (Aug 3, 2005 note: I never reacted publicly on these feelings and they faded away. It was being fed by the stress I was under.)

I'm tired of feeling like a failed professional. A never-were instead of a has-been. And it's all because I stretch myself too thin. It's not CHad's fault--I've been this way my entire life.

I'm tired of having no concentration I bounced from project to project and they all suffer for it. You can see how good I am on focusing my mind in this vent session.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Sea Dogs and Pirates

Workshops aren't cancelled tomorrow, so I have to get my Sea Dogs and Pirates class ready. I have most of it already, but scattered among different resources.

Also get to turn in the fence books for ship books. Want to festoon the pirate camp with debris from our sunken ship, especially whatever peice the name would have been carved on.

Let me get busy before the mail gets here. Yeap, back at work just in time for Friday.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

We missed Ivan

Came ashore at Gulf Shores. Completely missed New Orleans. Small sigh of relief.

Cancelled work today, but it's a good thing. I have a class to write and I don't want to fight the evacuues returning home traffic.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Ivan and other woes

Okay maybe woes is a little melodramatic.

Ivan isn't though. That's right, looks like we're getting some of the storm, category 5. *Rubs head* Just what we need. Actually aside for disaster scenerios, I do need the imposed vacation. Have to get plywood, I have enough stuff to hold water, have to scrub the bathtub, finally bought a pet carrier. Groceries, I think Chad has the non-perishable food items covered.

We finally decided where to plunk my pirate camp as well as how it should be decorated. *Big grin* That is, if Ivan doesn't blow the site away.

This week focus on editing! First on the list: London's pet project. *Bing* Though I just had a flash of how to end it. Yippee! Time to work.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Sick and sewing and cleaning

*Blah* Even when I try to do something right, it backfires. Not my headache but I'll still get pulled into it.

Stomach rebelled yesterday and I still don't know if it's okay today.

Taking the opportunity to finish my doublet and clean house.

Hopefully, I'll get done early and can write.

Where is everybody?

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Blues--Sewing, Housework, Or Dieting

I got all the peices and lining peices cut out last night. Got terminology definied today. SHould be ready to start sewing tonight. Chad says I can't wear the striped doublet and the striped breeches; it'll look like a prison uniform. I'm getting a second opinion. :p

I brought some reduced-sugar baking goods yesterday: chocolate cake and snickerdoodle cookies. Uses Splenda instead of sugar, cream instead of milk. So the only question is Chad's allergies to other artificial sweetners. I told him he needs to go have that checked by a doctor, but no, it's easier for me to keep the stuff around that makes me fat.

I'm not even going into the concert I won't get taken to because of money. I could probably afford the tickets now, but no, it's the principle of the thing. I'm tired of all our good times resting on my pocketbook. And since his pocketbook is waiting for school refunds, I won't be going to concert tomorrow.

And now that disappointment is official. Plenty to do, I'll just sew, or strip the table, or wash the dishes, or wash the clothes. PLENTY to do instead of screaming at a Better Than Ezra concert that will actually be IN Hammond--no travel necessary.

Now any more problems with Bloggers?

Read Free!
The BookWorm

The Blue Man Plan

I've reached the point in the manuscript where I'm not sure where I'm going. Rather than groping blindly for my plot, I'm going to plan more than I actually do.

Cyndia--who will become Zy--has just met Murdock and learned that the blue man she saw on the porch is Thirsten, an escaped serial killer. His compulsion to kill whole families is found in an astronomy myth of his homeworld that he now believes in. Sacrifice done in the name of the gods gives you their power. How do you show the gods their names? By copying the pattern of their constellations on the ground. (Earth counterpart: there have been some interesting studies that many ancient monuments were built designed on constellations.) Cyndia will be the one to figure this out from the scattered research done on Thirsten, which will given them the ability to capture him before he strikes his next target.

What I want to happen between now and then? Cyndia helps Murdock get inside the Millers' murder scene via robot. I also want to move Murdock out of the spaceship and into Cyndia's bedroom (not like that, you perverts), but they haven't reached that point in their relationship yet. Another slaughter, at least one.

I need to do some more brainstorming on my location. Now I'm picturing a subdivision built out in the middle of nowhere, and the city and the rest of the suburbs haven't caught up yet. So the woods are no longer part of a park, but actual wilderness bordering the subdivision.

Now I'm kind of stuck. I'm using "How to Write a Damn Good Mystery" to figure some of this out and it's at home. Oh well, have plenty of typing to catch up on.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

My curretn setup is too slow

I realized while working at the paying job, writing the rough draft by hand is slowing me down to a crawl. I enjoy composing in long hand; it feels more writerly. Even this blog was started in long hand between batches. And when my fingers don't feel like typing the right words, I prefer long hand.

In college, it didn't matter how long the first process took, I had enough free time to finish in a timely manner. Now it's slowing me down where it takes me months or years to finish a short story.

I knew I'd have to eventually start composing on the computer screen, so no ludite fears. Just honest trepidation of losing everything done as I trasfer between computers. I need a laptop (keep dreaming). But I figure the best way around that is to save everything to CD each day and print out the day's work for the folder.

The more I think about it, the better I feel about it. It's a jumping head first proposition.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Writing week

Have way too much on the writing plate and it's wrecking my concentration. So I'm dividing the writing hour into writing week and editing week. This week is a writing week. Nothing but composing. Only thing is I'm composing "Thanks", "The Blue Man", and EL #7. I think that's it. :p I need to bring a dice to work. I also need to bring scrunchies to work, but I never remember.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Waiting, waiting, waiting

I don't know what the problem Mozilla has with those buttons. But I need the buttons to pay my bill.

Finished fence in a record four hours. Power tools are really nice. Beyond really nice. So that was my last obligation to the joust field and I turned in my resignation as Joust arena stage manager and neighborhood leader. I'm just going to be guild leader of my pirates and we're going to be one happy shipwrecked family. If any of them show up. They have a bad habit of not answering emails.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Open letter to Arz

1). Just because you spend ten years on something doesn't mean it's
finished yet.

2). Maybe the grammar errors had been corrected between the time I critiqued and you looked at the site. (Capitilization errors do count as grammar errors. So do punctuation mistakes.) Look at the dates of the posts--oh well, nobody does that. Violently lashing out at somebody who made a post trying to help and in a polite tone and then calling them names because they are "attacking your friend" by pointing out what they saw is flaming behavior. Why not say "I didn't see what you saw" and leave it at that? No, that doesn't give an opportunity for a thousand evil smiling emoticons.

3). Why the hell should I waste my time translating stuff from a language I don't know when you don't even take my advice about the one I do? Maybe knowing two languages makes you feel all superior. I'm glad you've spent ten years of your life studying English, but I've spent twenty-seven. Plus sixteen years of active fiction
writing, a B.A. in English, and a small personal library of resources that I use
for the writing tutorials. I have a book buying page, so it's not like I'm making them up. When you're ready to make your stories conform to the English standards, then we can talk.

That takes care of what points I saw in your latest tantrums. Let's be realistic.
You're in a snit still because you've put so much hard work into your stories
and I didn't fall down and worship them. In fact, I had the gall to tell you how
to make them better for an English audience. 'Cause if you're not intending the
story for an English audience, why bother translating it?

Given that happened back in March, it's really time to get over it. I looked back at the posts. I didn't forget "Praise Crit Praise," I was avoiding the praise because the story left me cold. I had no empathy for the characters. The writing style had no polish. And the long disclaimer made me want to throw it away. However, I'm not cruel. It was the first story you had put up, so I focused on what I figured would be simple changes and give the story a biy more punch, omfph, something.

Your response was to say I'm a bad reader. Sorry sweetheart, its what's called a buyer's market. Don't please the readers and the don't come back.

To make the changes or to not make the changes is always your call, but being rude is just annoying. And ever since then, you've been on a crusade to prove yourself superior. I guess it makes you feel better to see me get all indignant because I know what I'm saying is right and I have book sources to back up my statements--instead of relying on the obvious superior method of peering into people's souls via their posts.

Sorry to disappoint you, but this time I'm not biting. Your immaturity and lack of concern over the welfare of your stories comes out loud and clear. Your need to pick a fight through those you call friends does them a disservice as well. Pretty soon your fingers and your clone's fingers (if you are really two separate people. It is still possible you're sharing the same body via illness.) will have to go to another forum to spew hate. (I'm guessing from T's tirade she's discovered you two have the same
IP address.) I have shook my head over your foolishness the whole time while compossing this letter, because I have finally freed myself from trying to have a meaningful dialogue with you. Nothing but pity, because your English stories will never get anywhere with the attitude you have toward critiques.

Now apparantly you want to apologize and play nice. Maybe you're realized that when you write a post in anger all you get is anger back. End the cycle already. But my inner cynic says it's because you know you're fixing to get access denied.

Oh, and putting hundreds of emoticons into a post impresses nobody. Just use one when you need it.

Best wishes,

The BookWorm

Note to all that read this: This was wrote for my own peace of mind. Please don't use it in an actions taken against Arz and her behavior at Red Planet.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Am I looking forward to the long weekend?

Well there is a promise of a barbeque. There is also the need to go talk to the money people. Better call them now.

*Sigh* Have to make an appointment for Saturday. It should go through. It's not usually that expensive, but I'm trying to deal with two months of bills at a time. And the stupid credit cards. And with regular income tied-up with the surveyors. *Pulls at hair* I HATE this shit. Everytime I tell those idiots I'm going to pay them off, I have to go get more money!

And Chad is very good at being sympathetic. Unfortunately I'm looking for suggestions on how to handle shit and he has none. And he let his phone die last night. And I realized to yesterday that the trips we did take, were work related for him, finding new contacts for the Faire. The trips I was jonesing for--Drake's Raid in June and Pennsic--had to be cut for budget reasons. So yeah, now I feel like I haven't had any fun all summer, every weekend has been spent working at my house or at the site, and I have resentment levels so high I don't think one day off is going to help at all. And no time to take a vacation--that's annual leave time. As it now, I'll only have enough time to take 4 days off in Novemeber with the school days. Though as I told him last night, I don't think making plans right now is a good idea because all I want to do is yell "FUCK OFF ALL OF IT! I'M NOT DOING IT!"

I don't even have time to sew garb.

Kenn wants to talk; that's good. I'm going to insist on fixing the fence. I screwed it up last year, so it's only right to get it back. As far as the gates and the rest, we have to see how the talks go. If Red gets me the prelim art soon-ish, maybe something will get decided for next year.

*HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER FOR 30 MINUTES*

Realistically, I'm probably handing it over to Chad and tell him to make something happen because I'm not. Prepared for my demands, type of thinking.

LOL Though I did realize after talking to Red last night, that all I ever do is complain to my blog about Faire. Have to bitch somewhere I guess.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Ridiculous

Looking back at it, after I slammed Arz for her stupidity (which she hasn't stopped spewing), it's like Cassidy is "wait, Arz is calling them mean baddies, they must be mean baddies! They were mean to me! And she had the nerve not to like my teddy bears! And she won't agree with me about Disney! I better call them baddies too!"

And Arz's wondertwin "The Clone" never posts except in the threads that Arz has started or is being heavily contridicted on. I smell a rat, and I don't think they have ever stopped being a Plutarkian Spy. Doesn't help the "yes we are two different people" arguement that they both over use emoticons. Like we're supposed to be impressed you can use the evil grin 5 times in a row? My theory is Arz has so little support she has to invent a friend. Given how scitzo some of her posts sound, it might not be a stretch.

I answered Cassidy's posts; T can have fun with Arz. Though she's pulling that I'm psychic I can read your soul and you don't have one cause you hate my stories and want me to edit and that's work bullshit. Now that would be a great graphic to have handy, but it probably wouldn't translate.

I need somewhere between $883 - $1020 to cover all the bills and make sure the surveyors get paid. If I borrow it now, I won't have enough money to pay it off when the house goes through. Well if it is the low end, the $883, I can pay it off. But that leaves me with roughly $77 to save toward the $1000 deductible I'm looking at for homeowners' insurance. Cripes, I have to start shopping for that again.

Get crooked math eyes again. Let me finish these fraud assessments and balance my checkbook. That way I can be sure of what I have in the bank.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

And the day started off so well

I lost 3 pounds. Probably all fluid weight, but since I feel good it was fluid I didn't need.

Taking a two week vacation from Red Planet. I've stepped on too many of the teenyboppers' toes. Or maybe just the same teenybopper's too many times. Regardless, it's nice to take a vacation from something.

Then I read comments to my blog entries. *Sigh* That was such a downer, I don't know what to say. I know what I'd love to say, but I'm trying hard not to give into those abusive tendacies.

And now the fucking mail's here so I don't have a chance to say what I need to say.

Okay, mail sorted. I have my pile on my desk I have to do, but I need to start on some of this.

You told me to prioritize! The fact that I got a list together with falling into despair again was an accomplishment.

So what if I'm making excuses? I can't quit my job in a blaze of glory. As it is I'm going to have to take out another loan to get my bills paid. I had to pay $300 to the surveyors yesterday. Then another $300 to $350 when they actually do the work. Chad laughed at me and told me I needed to move it up higher on the priority list just because of that factor.

The Faire is not an easy decision to make. What if I told you to dump the weekly gaming sessions with your friends? How easy is that to do? Or stop having company cause it interferes with your writing hour? I love playing on the street, and the other members are my friends and extended family. And I'm going to be there anyway because Chad LIVES THERE! *Deep breath* Besides, I don't see any of them till this weekend, which is why the discussion has to wait.

And yes, they are going to beg me to stay because it's a month before workshops, and 2 months before opening. They need me to build the damn joust field and stage manage it with no credit or appreciation. And yes, I'm trying to hold out because my squires and pirates don't deserve to be dumped and I want to play with my skit. How hard is it to say no to someone you're friends with?

Blasting me 'cause I'm not moving fast enough on the road to recovery doesn't help me get there any faster. Great now I'm going to start crying at work.

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The BookWorm

Evaluate scenes

II). Evaluate scenes
A). Most memorable
B). Least memorable--usually end up cutting
C). New least memorable

What is the most memorable scene in your book? Don't go to your manuscript for clues. If you can't remember the scene, it isn't memorable!

You know, with something novel-sized, this probably works. The strongest scene is the one you remember best. :p

I think I'm going to need help.

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The BookWorm

Afternoon update

Chewed Arz out. That felt justified. The little bitch can't recognize an alpha bitch. And I'm in no mental shape just to ignore her. Heh, should be entertaining for a while.

To edit or to write this afternoon before going home to add up the bills that I don't have money for. *Cringe and whimper* I better work on "Lights" I need to get it submitable.

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The BookWorm

Nervous breakdown

Chad and I had a long talk yesterday. The problem is even if I quit RenFaire, I won't be able to quit. Kenn is going to go down and his knees and beg. That is even more depressing. He agrees with you people that I'm overwhelmed, waiting for the next family crisis to rear its ugly head, and need to drop something.

Buying the house is top priority. Hence why I'm having a leisurely breakfast at home; I've got to go to the surveyor's office this morning. While a source of constrant stress 'cause I'm impatient and nothing is happening!, it is moving fairly quickly. Should close at the end of the month or by December. I'm not trying to count it any more.

Writing is also moving, though I seem to be doing more editing than rough drafting. I think I'm going to have to split my writing hours into editing this week, rough draft next, to accomadate both. That is very doable.

Chad is next, and he did agree to sleep over at my house every night of this three day weekend. He also agreed Monday is vacation day--even though I don't think one day of vacation is enough. Maybe I'll get my legs tanned.

What number are we at? 4th, writing tutorials newsletter. Actually, this has been no source of stress. I've changed the due date, I'm using them to multi-task with other projects, or is it dual purpose? Either way, I'm getting the Hyrueliana edited and writing the next 40 Editing Lessons. I just need to find some time to scan the book exercises and translate them, and then those are ready for the Creative Board, P2P, and the tutorials.

5th Alt Bm Site. I save the updates till the last minute. I keep swearing to stop doing that, but then I'm rarely home to work on them a little each day. I need to go ahead and invest in a laptop so I can work at work without any fuss. IT is so picky about the programs. I do have some behind the scenes things to catch up on, like updating the contributors' group, but that's a sit down and make myself do it.

6th The BookWorm's Library. Actually till the Hyrueliana is finished, I don't have any new material other than tutorials to go up. I'm practically on sabatical now with it, albeit unofficially.

7th RenFaire. Stop shouting dump it already. I already went into why that is not as easy as it seems. I just want the fun back. And I don't think Chad's offer of a pirate ship on the water is going to bring the fun back.

8th the paying job. What I'd really love to dump and can't. You guys told me to prioritize, and it's the fucking last thing I'm worried about. In fact I don't worry, I just go into automan mode. Which makes the Callgon lady screaming in the back of my head scream "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WASTING YOUR TIME HERE!" I like it better when she's just screaming. Looking for a new job is nearly impossible, nothing has come available that I want or am qualified to do. Going back to school for a MFA is impossible too, because I can't make it on any less than I'm making now. I don't have a second income yet to fall back on, and no I'm not considering Chad's. We're still separate entities.

There you have it. Fun outline that doesn't solve a damn thing. I'm still going to go around screaming at people. The only things I have to look forward to is swimming on Monday, dinner at Topela whenever Southeastern lets go of Chad's money (I'm leaning toward Saints winning the Superbowl, at least it won't be crowded on that day), and a padded cell.

Time to go talk to the surveyors.

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The BookWorm