Ugh, is it over yet?

Jeff Foxworthy's rule of marriage: "If she ain't happy, you ain't happy. Booing it doesn't make it any less true."

I think it applies to my mother this Christmas. Her reasons for not being in a holiday spirit are vaild, but do they make a good reason to spoil everyone else's good time? And how bad does it make me not wanting to hear about the various problem stuff anymore (i.e. being used as a sounding board to a jackhammer)?

Maybe the answer is to take over the major holidays, if she'll let them go. Hmm, I like Wil Wheaton's idea of making Christmas memories instead of the Christmas junk, but I don't know how to make it fly. Have a whole year to figure it out I guess.

Yesterday was better: time with friends I haven't seen in ages. The baby shower went well (mainly due to fun obliviousness--which is easier to do when you aren't related) and I dragged myself out of bed after four hours of sleep unregretting the time spent.

I didn't get everything on the list done though a lot has fallen off. But before looking at the short term, I want to focus on goals for the new year.

To accomplish in 2007

• Lose some weight--at this point I'm not picky about numbers but I want to buy clothes under the size I'm in now (not above)


• Meet at least three of my financial goals
  • establish a nest egg of 3 months of expenses
  
  
  • start savings for construction project
  
  
  • straighten out Roth IRA
  
  
  • start Faire and vacation savings
  
  
  • payoff outstanding debts
  
  
  • pay on mortgage principle


• Sell some writing


• File paperwork more often


• FINISH the damn scanning project


• Visit friends more


• Sew more


• Color more


• Write more


• Be more spiritual and try out new spells I found


• Stress less


• Screen in front porch and install cat door and cat gym

Maybe some of them fit more under guidelines than actual goals. And it all sounds better than resolutions, but I'm using that in the labels so I can find them again.

Now for the short term plans.

Upcoming agenda:

• Finish personal financial outlook with Quicken and new workbook


• CHORES! Catch-up


• Website updates


• Help Mom just short of going nuts


• Writing list
  • Uncle Keith's obit - Mom needs to edit
  
  
  • Alien species outlines for Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Alien languages for Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Pages in Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Editing Blue Man
  
  
  • Editing Covenant
  
  
  • Outlining webcomic project
  
  
  • Printing and double checking Dec. mailout
  
  
  • Research markets
  
  
  • Goto State Library for research


• Find dice for Eric's Twelfth Night Feast


• Drink more water and go to the gym


• Buy 2 more Ikea shelves


• Sort papers and file


• Get give-away box put together


• Take all give-away boxes to Mom's store


• Apply for gas card


• 15 minutes on back bedroom, office, and kitchen


• Time myself on writing up a subject so I can figure out what prices to charge.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

How it went

Well, 5 sites for freelancers: 1 had to pay for membership, 3 let you sign-up for free, and craigslist.com is a site of classified ads. Dismiss the one for pay. Out of the 3 that let you sign up for free, 2 need you to upgrade to paying memberships before bidding on jobs. Okay, if I was freelancing for all my money that would be a necessary expense. So I emailed one add on Craigslist and bid on nine projects at GetAFreelancer.com. And it's competitive there. But I had fun with some of the bids after I got tired of just listing my skills set.

"How does a third-generation pack rat try to break free of messy habits and become organizied? This would be the approach I would take. No preaching to the audience, but a fellow disorganizied scatter brain bettering herself is the approach I would take this project. And I'm happy to research new ways of organizing time and space to include in this book." -- I'm not as happy with it this morning (seeing ways to improve it), but it's more fun than "I can write; hire me."

"I'm the handy(wo)man in this household. I would fully research each and every topic assigned to me on power tools." -- I still like this one.

But the free account limits you to 15 bids in a month, so I have to use them carefully. I'll be keeping my eyes open on the other sites might let me start bidding, but not holding my breath.

Upcoming agenda:

• Call Dad about Demco stuff today


• Finish personal financial outlook with Quicken and new workbook


• Buy Christmas presents for Dad, Hannah, and Krista. Get wrapping paper from Mom.


• CHORES!


• Wrap up Billy and Misty baby gifts so all I have to do is pack the car.


• Put together Ikea shelves and rearrange movies.


• Enter the pile of new books into BookCAT


• Website updates


• Help Mom just short of going nuts


• Writing list
  • Uncle Keith's obit
  
  
  • Spec letter to Uncle Dean
  
  
  • Alien species outlines for Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Alien languages for Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Pages in Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Editing Blue Man
  
  
  • Editing Covenant
  
  
  • Outlining webcomic project
  
  
  • Printing and double checking Dec. mailout
  
  
  • Research markets
  
  
  • Goto State Library for research


• Find dice for Eric's Twelfth Night Feast


• Drink more water and go to the gym


• Mail spec letter to Uncle Dean


• Bring pile for Marian to WORK


• Get LEO password and business card to fax payroll info


• Buy 2 more Ikea shelves


• Bid on 10 freelance jobs

I'm going to have to make the crossed-off stuff disappear over the weekend. But for now it gives the illusion of progress.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

Sad money situation

Okay, I've been money stupid in 2006. Really money stupid. And while I have cash coming in January from student loans, I think I need another income source I can dedicate to this list:

1. outstanding debts


2. emergency savings


3. construction projects


4. Faire expenses


5. vacations


6. retirement--moving Roth IRA from CD to something with stocks


7. 1 or 2 CDs for safety sake


8. mortgage

therefore leaving the regular paycheck for monthly bills, groceries, and fun splurges. This is the rough draft; I have to finish my Quicken bookkeeping before I have concrete numbers to work with. But I can see the red ink already; I just don't know how many numbers between the minus sign and the decimal point. Income streams are paycheck and student loans. Fiction hasn't paid yet, neither has AMF writing gig.

So I need another source of income that pays but it has to be flexible with the rest of my schedule. Freelance writing looks to be the only option. I have 5 websites that are reputable. They all have jobs I can do.

But I'm scared.

Oh this is absolutely fucked up. How the hell did I turn into a writer that is scared of writing? Scared of trying anything new?

Okay, anxiety police, self-esteem demons, etc. I'm freaked over being broke. This is a temporary condition and I have a plan to fix it. My writing skills are part of the fix and I have good ones.

I will not crack under this pressure.
I will be working all weekend to clease me, my house, my finances, and get a good hunk of that list done so I am free to focus.
I will get back on a schedule.
I will restart my fiction.
I will also apply for a gas station credit card so I will be free from the worry of getting back and forth to the paying job.

Tonight--regardless of how drained I feel--I'm bidding on at least 10 jobs (2 on each site). Wait 3 days and bid on 2 more each site again.

You know, I think this is the first time I have called the anxiety crap out. ANd it worked. Wow. I feel so much better now. Even about the agenda list that keeps getting longer. Now I have to go print this post out to remember everything I need to do.

Upcoming agenda:

• Call Dad about Demco stuff today


• Finish personal financial outlook with Quicken and new workbook


• Buy Christmas presents for Dad, Hannah, and Krista. Get wrapping paper from Mom.


• CHORES!


• Wrap up Billy and Misty baby gifts so all I have to do is pack the car.


• Put together Ikea shelves and rearrange movies.


• Enter the pile of new books into BookCAT


• Website updates


• Help Mom just short of going nuts


• Writing list
  • Uncle Keith's obit
  
  
  • Spec letter to Uncle Dean
  
  
  • Alien species outlines for Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Alien languages for Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Pages in Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Editing Blue Man
  
  
  • Editing Covenant
  
  
  • Outlining webcomic project
  
  
  • Printing and double checking Dec. mailout
  
  
  • Research markets
  
  
  • Goto State Library for research


• Find dice for Eric's Twelfth Night Feast


• Drink more water and go to the gym


• Mail spec letter to Uncle Dean


• Bring pile for Marian to WORK


• Get LEO password and business card to fax payroll info


• Buy 2 more Ikea shelves


• Bid on 10 freelance jobs

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

Sleep is for mere mortals!

Scholars' College would make T-shirts. One of the years before I went (1995) had a top ten "statements" list. #1 was "Sleep is for mere mortals!" I don't remember what number it was but another statement that was passed on was "I worship the great god Caffine and his consort Ramen." And yet, I got burnt-out on too much funkiness like that, go figure.

Upcoming agenda:

• Call Dad about Demco stuff today


• Finish personal financial outlook with Quicken and new workbook


• Buy Christmas presents for Dad, Hannah, and Krista. Get wrapping paper from Mom.


• CHORES!


• Wrap up Billy and Misty baby gifts so all I have to do is pack the car.


• Put together Ikea shelves and rearrange movies.


• Enter the pile of new books into BookCAT


• Website updates


• Help Mom just short of going nuts


• Writing list
  • Uncle Keith's obit
  
  
  • Spec letter to Uncle Dean
  
  
  • Alien species outlines for Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Alien languages for Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Pages in Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Editing Blue Man
  
  
  • Editing Covenant
  
  
  • Outlining webcomic project
  
  
  • Printing and double checking Dec. mailout
  
  
  • Research markets
  
  
  • Goto State Library for research


• Find dice for Eric's Twelfth Night Feast


• Drink more water and go to the gym


• Mail spec letter to Uncle Dean

I have good intentions but I have to stop going to Mom's. One hour spent there and I'm wiped out and no good for whatelse I need to do that night.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

Am I Back?

Remember what I said about plans and me? Wednesday night I found out that my cousin wanted to babysit the sick people and Mom needed me to drive to Austin. So it was quick run there and back, packed my tools and clothes, and drove to Lafayette.

It was site clean up, and with 6 people on Saturday and 5 people on Sunday we accomplished what we set out to do. Plus we had a look at the shady area:


Faire's going to be gorgeous this year.

So Kai and Atticus are safely back in Austin, I'm safely back home, and should have a whole week at work this week. *Knocks on wood* However, I'm having the hardest time getting back into the routine. As in, there is no routine established yet. Maybe by the holidays.

Upcoming agenda:

• Call Dad about Demco stuff today


• Finish personal financial outlook with Quicken and new workbook


• Buy Christmas presents for Dad, Hannah, and Krista. Get wrapping paper from Mom.


• CHORES!


• Wrap up Billy and Misty baby gifts so all I have to do is pack the car.


• Put together Ikea shelves and rearrange movies.


• Enter the pile of new books into BookCAT


• Website updates


• Help Mom just short of going nuts


• Writing list
  • Uncle Keith's obit
  
  
  • Spec letter to Uncle Dean
  
  
  • Alien species outlines for Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Alien languages for Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Pages in Zy's Novel
  
  
  • Editing Blue Man
  
  
  • Editing Covenant
  
  
  • Outlining webcomic project
  
  
  • Printing and double checking Dec. mailout
  
  
  • Research markets
  
  
  • Goto State Library for research


• Find dice for Eric's Twelfth Night Feast


• Drink more water and go to the gym

*Headdesk* Wake me up when December ends.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

Just when you think life is back to normal

Me and plans. You would think I'd know by now that we are incompatible, but I am addicted to plans. I cheerfully made my plans that this would be a normal week.Chip away at my writing list, go to the gym, get research done, go to work for a full week. As it stands now, Mom has to drive Kai and Atticus back to Austin and the rehab hospital wants to release MaMa Thursday. And since I have to go to Lafayette this weekend, driving to Austin got pushed to Wednesday. So I have to stay home with my grandmother.

Which I can use to my advantage, but I don't know what it's going to do towards me saving up time to take off in April. *Sigh* Being the good girl sucks.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

Many round ups?

I tend to write blog posts out on paper when I'm too busy to type or away from my desk. I date them right, but sometimes they all go up at once. I started this handwriting while playing a game to wind down for bed Saturday night.

Saturday was spent enjoying the company of my sister and nephew. SO nothing got done much house or writing-wise. But it's not often I get to do the doting aunt thing, so I splurged with quality time.

Sunday was supposed to be a get back on schedule day and test new alarm clock. It didn't happen. I think I slept right through it. It ended up having a vivid dream that hatched a new story idea. I probably need a better way to store plot bunnies. I cooked and tried to work on some graphics stuff, but nothing was pleasing me. Annoyed that nobody said anything about Alt BM Site changes. Yeah, less work? *shrugs* I guess everyone is happy with it for now. I ended up playing a couple of computer games and rewatching the Ghosthunters Season 1 DVDs.

Today is looking halfway good. Alarm clock worked; I just couldn't pull myself out of bed. And if the Saints can kick the Cowboys collective butts all over Texas, I can can get my happy butt to the gym for 30 minutes. I need to get back into the routine of writing, or at least do some background alien work. I'm not as far along as edits as I would like and I still haven't figured out when I can have a marketing day. But I'm feeling hopeful about it.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

Life getting back to normal slowly

My first time back in the gym since Ocotber. Damn, it was a hard 30 minutes but I made it through it. Of course the last 15 minutes we're spent going "you made it now how about 5 more minutes?" until 30 had passed.

Uncle Scott is finally back in a regular hospital room. He had surgery Tuesday and the CAT scans and MRIs since then show that they got all of the tumor. There is a slight weakness in his left side, but therapy should bring that back.

Now the pathology said it was a low-grade, malignant tumor, so therapy is necessary. Mom wants chemo rather than radiation. Regardless, my uncle will have to go in for MRIs every three months for the rest of his life. At leat now we can calm down and take a big sigh a relief.

I haven't started on any of the website work, and last I checked there were no responses from Alt. Biker Mice Site. But I found a new toy I want to use at the Library. At DoomBuggies.Com, they have audio controls on the page (scroll down and you can't miss them). Now the first page has embedded sound, which drives me crazy because you can never shut them off. And that was always a drawback to included the songs in the stories because they would just play over and over again and drive viewers batty like me. But this control would allow me to put the song with the lyrics and give the viewers a choice to listen or not while reading and it will stop after playing once. More research is necessary to figure out how to do it.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

The Finals are Over; Long Life the Finals

Yeap, done a day ealry. But at the same time I feel like crapola. I suppose that really shouldn't be that surprising, given everything that's going on. And how wonky my sleep schedule got.

I should have brought coloring to work on today. Instead it's writing. I'm still undecided if it's a good day or bad day for that.

Tomorrow is my mailout extravaganza and I'm not ready. Nothing researched, nothing edited, noting printed. I hate to delay it...

*Pauses to go get much needed caffine*

Much better. Try just having one can tomorrow. Today has to be 2. Where was I? Delaying the mailout. I've done the mailout blind before and failed miserably. But delay too long and run into holiday issues. And SLU library will now be closed at 4:30pm Monday - Friday and closed all day Saturday and Sunday. *headdesk*

There is a backup choice. The State Library closes at 5pm, but I'm only four or five blocks from it. I usually squeeze through before the doors are locked. Unfortunately no Saturday hours either but they have magazines.

So the plan has changed: Library on Fridays, mailout Dec 28th, and me in the gym tonight. Already stress is easing. I was feeling bad about no research.

Now the mailout list:

• The Front Porch
• the Rose
• Father's Love
• Dreams of the Dead
• the Blue Man on the Porch
• Covenant of the Restless
• Hitchhiking Highwayman

Blue Man on the Porch and Covenant of the Restless are not ready for publication, so I will hold them back until June's mailout unless a miracle happens in the next twenty days (and I think I spent all my saved up brownie points on Uncle Scott).

I think that covers everything I was worried about writing-wise. Now to concentrate on editing something.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

A Question of Epics

12/05/06 9pm: Note to self: replace alarm clock radio with a version that requires two-button sequence for changing time.

Hopefully stree will end soon. I'll probably have to be late on my mailout extravaganza because as of today--nothing is printed, much less edited.

Kilroy and Tina is pausing its run due to creator burnout (I'm being positive about it coming back). The Green Avenger went on pause due to creator crisis that hit very close to home right now (need to send her a note). Elf Life is doing something again, but set after the epic wedding story (and on the site I wasn't watching of course) because the wedding story was "too epic to tackle." That's 2 out of 3 that ended up saying "epics are hard."

I'm not denying burnout. I feel so burnout that the ashes are smothering the creative spark. I'm curious and a bit fretful and a fan that will miss the product.

Curious: Is it just a case of vision exceeding capabilities? Is it just a case of creating one thing but the medium has turned it into something else?

Fretful: If I do a webcomic, especially the one that lurks in me brain, am I doomed for failure?

You seem I'm thinking epic (7 main characters and I just added 3 more, plus flashback characters), I already know it will be huge, but I'm thinking graphic novel with beginning, middle, and end that is serialized page by page.

Yes, I'm being silly since I need to have it scripted and find an artist first. This is what happens when an academic is wornout and abused by life in general. Brain goes in a weird direction.

12/6/06 1:22pm: Funny, I write out my worries and find Websnark discussing the same thing with Cheshire Crossing; At least once in this essay, I wrote 'Weir" as "Weird." I'm certain no one has ever done that before in Andy Weir's life.

I hadn't thought of this method, waiting until the whole chapter was done. So brain has stopped fretting about this topic for now.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

So tired

Sunday: Kai and Atticus arrive via train to New Orleans. Me go get. No matter what Kai gets on when I have to pick her up, she's later. Train supposed to be there at 4pm. Got in at 8:30pm.

Uncle Keith's funeral was Monday. We went. It actually went pretty decently. Let here for having a formal dressed Marine in the cemetary. Yes, Uncle Keith was a Marine. Yes, he should have stayed in. Nope didn't go to 'Nam, but told everybody he had.

Tuesday, Uncle Scott has to gave an MRI before surgery. Surgery scheduled at 10:30am. We got there at 6am. Then they didn't tell us he went straight from MRI to surgery. Surgery actually started noon-ish, got finished 3:30pm-ish, and neurosurgeon said it went well. COurse we really don't know anything until the biopsy of the tumor comes back from the lab. As of 5pm, both Mom and Uncle Scott's girlfriend Sherry had seen him but he was still waiting in recovery for a room. He was talking and knew stuff (his head hurt and they put a cathater in him again). We went home with a detour at Target to buy stuff for Atticus.

Very tired, trying to get the computer shut down so I can go to bed and get back on routine tomorrow. At least that is my plan as far as that goes.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

Family drama has already started

Just when you hope the family is going to pull together and act right, they have to go and prove you wrong. I missed the worst display of it being at work and Uncle Scott made out his list of who he didn't want to see because "they're just crazy." But I know Our Lady of the Lake staff is talking about those crazy coonass Vamprans.

As I asked Chad last night, "Does it mean there's hope for me since I'm the product of the two sanest people of their respective families?"

Uncle Keith's funeral arrangements were made without consulting us and his wishes aren't being followed. My aunt Marsha is preaching the service. Granted, I've come to get really annoyed with ordained preachers who treat a funeral not as a celebration of the deceased's life but as an opportunity to get a Sunday sermon into the gathered crowd, but we have ordained cousins and friends of the family who would do it for the family. The train wreck is Monday and I don't know what my mother and grandmother are planning to do.

Uncle Scott's surgery is Tuesday. My sister Kai is coming in by train this afternoon. My sister Krista is coming in sometime Monday. My grandmother is set up at a rehab hospital and is liking it so far. No, the bleeding ulcer wasn't treated with anything since it was scabbing over, so she's still bleeding.

I finished the paper, so today I've got to get the finals 90% complete, as well as go to the store, go pick up Kai and Atticus, and squeeze in a visit to MaMa. Though I'm thinking if I end up taking off the next two days from work, I might be able to put off the visit part.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

Uncle Keith died

My aunt Marsha found him dead at 5am this morning. I just found out now.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/

Oookkkaaayyy

Well, I thought company licensing deliveries was on rotation not actually doing them. And I wouldn't have made this Kindra's week after Kindra missed 2 days. *Shrug*

I've been fighting with myself over starting another long project while still working on Zy's novel, and with everything else is going on. I made a notebook this morning for the Strix project, but I think I've decided to work on websites instead with this excess energy. Short duration project just feels right. I can have website updates wrapped up by the time to next semester gets started.

I also have the mail out to get ready. And finishing assignments this weekend. So let's go for something completely distracting.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/