... to give myself some therapy before lunch is over.
I have issues. I can normally ignore them, or give them the brush off they deserve except when my defenses are low. Course they always wait till then to pounce.
I have an irrational fear of driving everyone who likes me away. I never had any real friends until 6th grade, and those have drifted apart. College was another good opportunity to make friends, and I'm proud to say I'm still in contact with a few. Another group shut me out in the coldest way imaginable. Made worse by the fact that the guy I had a crush on made himself the spokesperson of the group. I came home with a sarcastic hide that was damn near bulletproof. My best friend Billy was the one to finally reach me how much I was hurting others.
So now when the shrew comes out I have a backlash that I've hurt someone. Hence my over abundance of apologizing.
Maybe Foxy and Jazzie's right; I need a vacation. But it's not the writing part that gets to me; it's the finding time for it amid everything else that must be done. Cripes, I haven't edited the stupid lecture yet or put out the next tutorial.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
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