Monday, March 17, 2008

I'm wearing green, what more do you want!

And a happy St. Patrick's Day to you too.

Yeap, I'm a grumpy butt this morning, due to lack of sleep. It was a good visit and I'm glad I did stay, but I'm paying for it now. No really, I'm not being shy or cute or standoffish when I say I have to go to bed at 7:30pm. I get up at 3am. Yes, I know no one in the world does this but me, but it works for me. :p

I'm scared I'm caught between trying to make people happy, trying to get my money back, being ethical, trying not to piss people off, and trying to protect myself financially and emotionally. The meeting was a success in so far as everyone got out of it still speaking to each other and no one was thrown out, beaten up, or arrested. Where I have doubts is if the decisions made is just delaying the inevitable or can we pull off a phoenix move that has never happened in the industry? And how much of my energy can I safely invest without destroying other projects?

"Listen to my gut" has never worked for me, hence the second guessing. I have to go with my strength, which is trusting people and kicking their ass when they prove untrustworthy. I also console myself with knowing this paperwork would have to be done regardless of the options--i.e. it would have to be done no matter which option was chosen.

And yes, I packed my sword to the meeting, but didn't need to pull it out.

Cripes, I never did update my grandmother's situation. She was released back to the nursing home when I went back to work, February 25th though it may have been in the middle of that week. And we're waiting for the cycle to start again. She has congested heart failure, the dialysis center can pull off a liter of fluid before her blood pressure plummets, and they stop. She needs at least three liters pulled off her three times a week. So she gets back to the nursing home and has a hard time breathing. But she has such a wonderful quality of life, she would be committing suicide just to stop the machines. Thank you Dr. Asshole Powers.

The hard part is she has jumbled long-term and short-term memory, but she's in the now. She knows who she is and where she's at and most of why she's there, and if you're a medical professional asking "You're trying to prove I'm crazy" follows the answers. Brain dead is easier to deal with.

MITs for Today
  1. Go home and sleep as soon as possible. Drug Take Tylenol PM, put on sleep mask, crawl into bed by 6:30pm (time subject to actual arrival home and finishing supper).

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The BookWorm

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