Weekend update

Family reunion was nice. Too much running around for me, then followed by lack of sleep.

The followed by another day of planting and floor boards and cleaning. At least I didn't have to nail, though maybe pounding out my frustrations would have been healthier. But the furniture covered in the most goose shit is now clean.

Frustrations, *sigh*, I actually cried. As we were driving back from lunch, Chad let slip that he had been talking to the owners about the dias plans on the joust field. I've been trying to get a damn artist to draw up 2 plans to present them for getting close to a year now with no luck. I've tried talking about my plans--which I am well aware have less than a snowball's chance in Hell--and just get a non-committal, or the "no money" excuse. I know my plans will never get approved because all they want is a stupid cookie-cutter RenFaire, but at least give me a chance to present them decently. But again what I want, what I see, what I've been working on for the past FOUR YEARS doesn't fucking matter. Goddess I was furious.

Chad to his credit was just trying to light a fire under their butts, because A) I've been bitching about it for so long and B) the live-action joust is the show that they continously push on all the advertising and the field looks like shit and C) the Royal Court has ask nicely for a decent place to sit out there. He just wanted to do something nice and surprise me, which just pissed me off even further. My own fucking boyfriend out to realize who's damn input is necessary. I don't expect Alvin and Rick to listen--I'm not that dense after 4 years and as Amy puts it, we lack the necessary equipment to get listened to by Alvin at least.

I had to stalk off, and go to front gate and find my gardening tools. Everything that has happened decently out at that joust field has happened because I got people together and MADE it happen. I did fuck up the fence last year, but their repair job made it look even worse. We built the new stables last year; had that been left to Alvin and Mike and Rick, the knights would have had no where to house the horses and no time to build anything before the show started. They made the dias for second year and the piss-ant duke that starts off A Knight's Tale has a better fucking dias. They put up a hide away fence (to hide the behind the scenes areas of the site) for third year, and forgot to put a gate in it. After they drive the backhoe through the fence during the off-season, they put a gate in LIKE I HAD TOLD THEM TO FROM THE START. I asked for sunshade for the patrons and they did put that up. And it fell down second week. The benches that my construction crew got started on and were told to stop because they were wasting wood, are they only ones that haven't fell apart yet. Oh and lets not forget leaving all the trash at the field for all the patrons to see (the crew building the Inn includes Chad finally helped me burn that off), leaving all the boards for the benches out all six weeks of the show and we're finally salvaging what is good in the stacks now but they're mostly ruined.

I got back from Front Gate and Chad was trying to apologize and I cried. I know my fucking pirate ship arena won't go, but I hate feeling like I'm being sidestepped especially by someone who's supposed to have my emotional well being in mind. The owners are never on hand for that field. They might see 5 minutes of a show before fleeing. I know what works, and I'm constantly shunted aside. And I can't get a crew together to work on any more of it and I can't blame them. Construction work for no pay and no appreciation is no fun.

I had already said I was quitting after this year, and it is cemented in now. And nobody is going to take that joust field neighborhood. And I will not take it back until my demands are met. A new fucking dias and fence, backstage area for my people, start on a permanent outdoor speaker system, the stables completed, the concession stand (old stables) improved, drainage issues dealt with, landscaping started, and the hideaway fence repaired and improved. Fucking stuff they should be doing now.

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The BookWorm