Opening Lines

Just before all this mess with Savannah started, I came up with revisions to make on all my submitable short stories, all five.  Then I started fretting about my opening lines.  I'm fretting about everything right now, but at least I can do something about my opening lines.

"Dreams of the Dead"
1st take: Cynthia glanced around the unfamiliar landscape.
2cd take:  "Just add a couple of melting clocks, and this place could be a work of art."

"Underneath the Colored Lights"
1st take:  The cold wind cut across the water, over the grassy bank, and through the appreciative mob of people.
2cd take:  She hadn't said yes to getting killed tonight.

"Father's Love"
1st take:  "Mert wishes not for war to come between our hives."
2cd take:  ?--I don't think this really needs changing.

"The Rose"
1st take:  I saw Rodas again last night.
2cd take:  ?--maybe expand the sentence so you'd know as a ghost.  Or maybe short is enough of a hook.

"Elizabeth's Oak"
1st take:  Rhiannon tried to remember when she had first seen the expression in Phobos Byrd's eyes.
2cd take:  ?--Haven't come up with it yet, but the whole beginning needs to be restructured and that has to go!

The first line should always be attention grabbing, even in a novel where the person will give you more time to get hooked.  You don't have that luxury in a short story.

Update on Savannah: surgery is tomorrow morning.  I have to go get my baby sister from Natchitoches, and Mom doesn't know if she's going to get a hotel room or not.  And my cell phone battery died again, so I hope since I was talking to her, she will call me at my desk if anything changes.  *Sigh*  I need another desktop charger for my work desk.

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The BookWorm