Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Hellsing Yummy

I'm on a Hellsing kick. I'm sure it has more to do with me about to start a story with vampires and nearly nothing to do with my wanting a nearly seven-foot-tall, bad-boy-sexy vampire who could scary the bejesus out of anyone I ordered him to. You believe me, right? Of course, there's a health dose of escaping the damn ethnography. I doubt you can get much further than Alucard fighting un-dead Nazis.

So I've been gathering AMVs, which has a bonus that I'm getting introduced to new songs and bands to inspire the Strix stuff. This one is currently one of my favorites.

I've been comparing the anime (which I have the whole box set) to the OVAs (which I only have volumes I and II). I've been coveting getting the complete manga set (it's not finished yet, and I only have volume 8). I've been lapping up And Shine Heaven Now (Erin Ptah keeps the characters very in character but gives them funny. And her crossovers are the bomb). And I've been reading fanfiction.

Here's another vid before the ranting part of the post. Warning: it's a gory cut.

I do have one issue with the canon that sort of bleeds into what I have issues with in the fanfiction. It's not bad enough to spoil my enjoyment and it may be a translation issue. I can cut slack on translation issues. But my brain picks at it.

The setting is 1999. Sir Integra Hellsing is 22 years old, so that means she was born in 1977. Her father Arthur dies and she wakes up Alucard in 1989. Alucard was imprisoned 20 years before in 1969. Arthur was leading Hellsing in 1944 in his twenties, so that means he would have been born in the 1920s.

Integra Hellsing is the last descendant of Abraham Van Helsing, who is often enough called her grandfather to make me gnaw. The math doesn't work, and my brain will seize upon it and not let go.

The setting for Dracula is commonly pinpointed to 1887. Abraham Van Helsing is described physically:
"a man of medium weight, strongly built, with his shoulders set back over a broad, deep chest and a neck well balanced on the trunk as the head is on the neck. The poise of the head strikes me at once as indicative of thought and power. The head is noble, well-sized, broad, and large behind the ears. The face, clean-shaven, shows a hard, square chin, a large resolute, mobile mouth, a good-sized nose, rather straight, but with quick, sensitive nostrils, that seem to broaden as the big bushy brows come down and the mouth tightens. The forehead is broad and fine, rising at first almost straight and then sloping back above two bumps or ridges wide apart, such a forehead that the reddish hair cannot possibly tumble over it, but falls naturally back and to the sides. Big, dark blue eyes are set widely apart, and are quick and tender or stern with the man's moods."
He is a medical doctor, and a doctor of philosophy and literature. He taught Dr. Seward. We're not talking about a wunderkid here; he is a paternal figure for the rest of the crew of vampire hunters, and even says Arthur Holmwood reminds him of his dead son.

I always want to cast him in his sixties, but it could be the fifties. Even if Abraham is 50 in 1887, that means he would be 83 in 1920, which would be the earliest for Arthur to be born. DOES NOT COMPUTE! There must be a missing generation between Abraham and Arthur. Maybe the Japanese term for male ancestor translates to "grandfather" no matter where on the actual family tree the guy falls.

And this is enough of a break in suspension of disbelief that whenever I see Abraham is grandfather, I get the DOES NOT COMPUTE! and have to remind myself of the missing generation. Cause either it's a missing generation, or Abraham had a slew of sons and control of the Hellsing Organization bounced around brothers for a while. I'm glad it doesn't come up THAT often.

But other than having to deal with the DOES NOT COMPUTE! message, it doesn't bother me when I see it in fanfiction. After all, they are only copying what has been said in the manga (I think the anime and OVA are a little more murky with the family tree). No what drives me batty in the fanfics are when they haven't bothered to read Dracula at all! Kouta Hirano doesn't follow it slavishly, but he uses enough of it that if you fanfic writer are going to use the characters, you should go see the source material. None of the film adaptations even get you close, NONE.

Yes, I got thrown out of a okay fanfic describing Abraham and Alucard's relationship by the author having Dr. Seward call Van Helsing "boy." Ignoring the appalling lack of knowledge on Victorian manners, Seward would not call his old friend and former master "boy." And you would know this if you read the bloody book.

I know I need to leave in the review to the actual guilty author. But I've been wanting to rant about the bad math for a while now, so you get to have both. Sorry. Here's another vid if you made it this far. I like this one, combining the anime footage with the music video footage.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

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