Friday, June 09, 2006

Flash Fiction Friday

Had a big long post and was almost finished with it detail how I'm currently feeling about stuff when my work computer had a spontaneous reboot and ate it.

So trying to remember the salient points. My car brakes are messing up; I got that typo-d last night. Not enough sleep or exercise and stress over Alt BM SIte version 2.0. If I sound peevish, it's nothing personal.

Today I'm taking off from version 2.0 to get two flash fiction peices ready, even though only one can go in the contest. This weekend I'm taking off to spend time with the boyfriend and work on Acadiana Faire stuff.

I'm scared the forum is going to become a big black hole and suck all of my available time, and everything I'm trying to do now is an attempt to get more time and still satisify the obligations I feel guilty about. I'm not reacting out of anger and I'm probably going to cave on this issue because I ALWAYS cave when it comes to putting something ahead of writing time. I'm just a little depressed that after having a big blow up, then apologizing for it and explaining WHY I feel the way I do, something I didn't want is still being handed to me to do because I'm the one who must. *Resisting urge to pull out hair.* Why can't the damn forum wait until after we go online and then see if they want another bloody place to talk? (Yes, I know they will and yes, I know I will cave and give it to them and I know everybody is going to stick me with it and I know I'll never have time to write again unless I turn into screaming shrew banshee which I DON'T WANT TO DO!)

I guess what irks the most is at the same time I'm getting the message: give up this hobby and everything else and you'll have time for your writing career. Something, somewhere, doesn't add up and it's wearing me out trying to keep up with the mental gymnastics.

Stupid bug crawling in my ear last night and screwing up my sleep. I wouldn't be nearly this peevish with more sleep. Like I said, it's nothing personal. I'll feel better after this weekend. A lot of it is just free-form anxiety that has latched onto the forum issue with an ferocity that surprises even me. Bring it up after I get some fiction done, after I get the fanfics uploaded, after some of the damn issues get off the damn list, and it'll probably be easier for me to consider it.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Flash Fiction Contest Entry 1

Progress Bar from Writertopia


Progress Bar from Writertopia


Progress Bar from Writertopia

No comments: