Saturday, June 30, 2007

Weekend plans

Catch up on homework for online class.
Catch up on chores.
Buy flea medicine for Mustard.
Take Dad to belated Father's Day movie.
Finish Alt. BM Site updates.
Finish scanning the box on my desk. The stack is probably 3-inches high, but Reader's Digest articles take up a lot of scanning for something that small. (Okay, now that sounded completely random.)
Write in study carrel.
Go swimming.

I'm thinking of combining the last two. Swimming as a reward for output. They are limited to Sunday. Library is open 2pm to 10pm and pool is open 4pm to 9:30pm. So I should be able to overlap the two and not be up so late.

Feel numb and drained. Haven't decided if it's in a good way or bad way yet. It's not depression because otherwise I would feel like doing anything, and feel confident that I will get something off my list this weekend. Even if it's nothing but homework and the movie. LOL

Part of it is that now I have a new observation (not originating from me this time) to go along with my writing now. I have no desire to copy my personal family dynamics in fiction. I don't want to be published and have the Extendeds try to claim any character as themselves. And maybe it would be catheric to get it all out. "It would hurt like hell. What does it matter if it makes a good book?" But it wars with me. I don't want pain, and my raising has been too much of turn the other cheek. Ignore the problems and avoid the people as much as possible. To knowingly go to the past to recreate it on paper; am I giving it more power or less? That's different than mining experience and feelings.

Besides, ultimately, in the grand scheme of obsteclues people have overcome, it's only family drama to me because it's mine. I was never beaten almost to death, never sexual abused, and my parents did a good job shielding us from the worse of their families when we were vulnerable. Now that I am an adult, most of the time it feels like "my life is separate, they have a connection, but they have no power over me." If I can manage that position for 3 weeks out of the month, am I healthy? (The fourth week has other issues, which gives lives to all the issues, and I never know what my position is then.)

And I have used family dynamics that I want to share. I mined my sister's and mine sibling jealousy and competiveness with my great-grandmother talking sense into us, but nobody wants to publish a one-act play.

:P I was going to talk about the second observation, right? All my heroines are distant and sarcastic and shove their loved ones away.

Zy and Cynthia, and to a certain extent, Tala were all born/shaped during a time when that was my mode of defense. There is no cutting it from them now; it is part of who they are.

Storm-blown Kate: I don't see it. But that universe needs a lot more world and character building, which is why it's set aside for now.

Allie: is a tough nut. She has the inner banshee, but she can unplug it (which is something I have never been able to do with my own). She doesn't unleash it on Mike. She never turns the rage at Mike. Okay, how the hell does a fictional baby figure out how to do what the creator mommy can't?

Peggy and Peg in Strix: again I don't see the sarcasm or the pushing away. But they are still very nebulous.

Okay I think that's currently everyone in my head. I don't know what to do with it. Though I think I should stop making everyone orphans. Any way I have to get to the vet's before they close.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at:

No comments: