To the point

I'm in a depressed mood to whine, but I really need to be channeling my energies in another direction. Like finding my desk and working on the homework assignment due next week.

I was rearended yesterday. 7am, I was almost at my building when I stopped at an intersection, following the rules of the yield sign. The guy behind me thought I had gone. The bumpers actually worked. I have never been in an accident where there wasn't total damage to my vehicle. But my whiplash was jarred most unfairly. Took yesterday off, went to doctor. Back bumper is a little out of place on the passanger side and needs new paint. Could be just a fix or a replace.

There at least I have a chair back now. Still working on the desk.

Fans is over. Not that anyone reading this blog but me cares. *Sigh* Time to buy the complete set on CD-ROM so I never lose them.

I was going to spiral into a really depressed triade against people who don't read my work. Not worth the emotional involvement at this point. It doesn't matter how well my fanworks do. Not when I have the grades of two classes on the line for the next couple of weeks. I pissed my way through school for my undergraduate degree. I don't want to make the same mistake with my Master's. Plus I may get paid for the Resource Guide.

Back to cleaning.

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The BookWorm

Quick one for today

Got up to Elizabeth I taking the throne on the resource guide Tuesday night in class. A milestone in terms of completetion. I took yesterday off, went to bed at 7pm and slept like a log. Feel much better this morning. Left the house on time and ended up with enough before work time to finish blogging. Now for breakfast.

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The BookWorm

Weekly Update

Just so you know I ain't dead or something. :)

Last posted on last Wednesday. Got to go home and work on projects--once my mother stopped talking and let me leave her house. She captured me twice. Situation equals stress bad for me. I think I have an online witness to just how bad off I was that night. I finished the bottle of cheap blackberry merlot and it didn't have enough alcohol. This coming from the girl who is always the designated driver.

I decided Mom needs to go back to work. I know she's not able, but I need to come home and deal with my shit. I don't have the time, energy, or patience to deal with my mother's too. I don't have the bladder control either. That night I didn't even have a chance to unlock the door and pee before she was yaking my ears off. I love my mother, but I can't keep doing this.

I should tell her. Problem is that would have to be a conversation that I would have to start. I don't get a chance to start; I don't get a chance to talk. And Chad says I shouldn't be so paranoid about blabbing. It's all fear of turning into my mother.

Thursday night, I wanted to see the Commissioner of Insurance--my boss boss--on the evening news. I was hoping Mom would be gone for Memphis. No such luck, so I resigned myself. By the time the story came on the news and Mom did leave, I had a raging hunger headache and was in no mood to deal with any projects. Chad, Joe, and I went out to dinner.

Friday day went well. Friday night was a different story. It was supposed to be my night off regardless. Chad wnated to discuss RHLC business with the others. Everyone else had a great day at a school demonstrating and reconstructing Renaissance history for the students. Me and Amy had to work, and we had to wait till Amy got there to eat. So I'm getting hungrier and grumpier and sleepier but wired on caffine. I couldn't work because I didn't have a computer, and everyone was making me more irritable. I took myself away for a nap, and laid down for five minutes when Amy showed up.

Now Chad promised me I could get liquored up back on Thursday night and after this week I wanted it bad. But I refuse to drive when I drink, so that's why the wait till we go out with Kenn and Amy on Friday night. Stephanie and Joe are coming too, and they're riding with Kenn and Amy. That was the last straw; I was snarly bitch queen.

Analyzing it now, the cause was 80% biological (PMS, low blood sugar, not enough sleep, dehydration, too much caffine and stress), 10% being fed something I didn't want (Chad and I had already gone to Adobe during the week), and 10% feeling dumped upon. It was supposed to be a working dinner and Chad had already upset me by not saying I was getting paid for the resource guide. In the mood I was in implying heavily wasn't cutting it. (Payment is currently under discussion, pending other issues.) Stephanie should not have been there at all. They were always real quick to dump my ass before I started dating Chad. Stephanie has nothing to do with RHLC either. Not to mention that fact that she was getting on my nerves. But so was everyone else. I had a small strawberry margarita. I should have had more.

Saturday--I cleaned and wrote. It worked whatever it was out of my system. Got the living room, halls, and bathroom clean--my bedroom was done earlier. I wrote two pages on the script, the Crusades and the Magna Carta for the resource guide, worked on Alt. BM Site, and my homework internet site assignment. Then I helped stuff envelopes after the gang got back from the Social--after apologizing. Unnecessary, except for me.

Sunday--I cleaned most of the kitch, just have the floor left. I got fed up with Alt. BM Site update and watched the Cheap Detective. I figured out how to fix the author pages but I think the navigation fixes has to wait or else the update will be another month late.

Monday--I'm watching how much caffine I drink and trying to drink more water. The alarm went off this morning and I spent five minutes listening to "Funkytown" wondering why it was playing. The morning went downhill from there. I ended up leaving my cash for lunch as home. Monday's at work always suck. I hoped class would go better that night. I doubted I would get time to type this blog I've written.

Tuesday--Didn't get a chance to type the blog on Monday. (Started on Tuesday and finished on Thursday.) Class went fine, I answered my own Dreamweaver question and got up to Henry VII in the history section. I was still sleepy and my hair is too heavy for my head. Maybe I'll try a bun instead of a ponytail.

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The BookWorm

This is supposed to be nose to the grindstone work time

From the tone of the title, you should be able to tell that ain't happening. *Sigh* And I had such high hopes.

*Sigh* There's no point in complaining. Just know that I'm listening to Gregorian chant to soothe my nerves.

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The BookWorm

Booyah!

I finally got the JavaScript coding for a selfupdating copyright notice running! It's not up yet, because I haven't updated, but I'll have to add it when I do. I had to get it for class so there was the grade incintive to get it done.

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The BookWorm

Expanding shopping list

Need to remember: call for sceptic tank, buy sodas, buy ...

Can't remember what else I needed to buy. Damn. I need two things at Wal-Mart. This is why I wanted to write it down in the car where I remembered it. But all the paper was in the back seat. Now I remember!

Buy claritin
Clean litter box
Do laundry
Work at home

I got the external links for the hypertext transfer project finished last night at class. Rather than dealing with taking them out, I think I'll just add an explanation to the disclaimer for why they're there when I move the story into the Library.

Buy padded envelopes

Don't you love how a shopping list expands?

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The BookWorm

Computer update night

Got Dreamweaver 4 up and running. I have been using it at school and like it, other than the floating panes. Hopefully, I can find a way to anchor those.

And I loaded up the camera software and the EasyShare Dock. So hopefully, if all goes well, I should have pictures up for things I have been promising pictures to, very soon.

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The BookWorm

World War 3 Averted

The guy from Demco was early, Estelle late, so Dustin and I worked it out. Yeah, they're lying about who knows what, but that's between them, their conscious, and their deity. All the poles are going on Estelle's land and in the front, near the road that's all tied up in right-a-ways anyways, and it doesn't cross my property anywhere unslightly or unsafely.

Moral of the story: if you don't try to hook and crook, you get electricity a week earlier.

Reading: Blitzed through Mirror, Mirror the week before the electricity crisis. Lucretia Borgia made a great Wicked Stepmother/Queen. The drawves were a little surreal but they were supposed to be.

Ended up spending the weekend with Chad, and there was a picnic for RHLC demonstrators Saturday. I learned something that's not for public knowledge yet, but it did influence a decision that disappointed Chad. No, we didn't break up. But when I can explain what happened it will make a lot more sense.

Also during the picnic meeting, we came up with the idea of creating a Renaissance themed murder mystery party either to use as a fundraiser or as maybe another Faire event. Course I was pegged as the writer to create this. Luckily, I don't have to show anything until possibly after summer.

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The BookWorm

I owemy father an apology

He finally stood up for me. Meeting with Demco at 3pm. I'll let you know how it goes later.

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The BookWorm

Did better yesterday

I may have stumbled onto dealing with my mother's conversations. It's either jumping in with "I have homework" before she gets rolling or throwing her off balance with lots of swearing.

Let me try going back for a little while.

Saturday, me, Chad, and Mom drove up to Natchitoches for Krista's soriority's Family and Alumnae Day. That was a bust, but visiting Krista was nice.

Sunday: house cleaning I already went over. Dad did yard work and found a Demco--our electric company--flag on Estelle's land south of my house.

To explain, my grandmother sold me 2.77 acres and the house from the larger tract of land. So she still owns the land south and north of my land, with the exception of my parents' acre. Right after the selling stuff was starting to get rolling, somebody decided Dustin needed to move next door on the south portion. Dustin is my cousin, his father and my father are brothers. Estelle has supported them her entire life.

You can't chose who you're realted to, or at least take some small comfort that in the karmic scheme of things, your soul wanted these trials and tribulations. I'm sorry to say I'm related to the worse white trash in three parishes on both sides of the family.

I can't really blame Dustin too much. He is mentally handicapped, and nature and nurture fucked him over. *Sigh* I was going to try to keep this clean, but there's no way around it. He did managed to buy a trailer, pissed away the loan money for the septic tank, there was a lawsuit over that, and long story short, he is moving his half-sister in--same mother different fathers so she's not family--to pay to get the utilities hooked up. And Estelle's been forking out the money because Dustin is married--another mistake--and they can't seem to find a place to live marriedly together at. You're free to puke now.

Long story really short, we don't approve of their lifestyles, their freeloading, Estelle bending over backwards to make sure their little world is perfect, and we don't want them next door.

The other essential fact of the story. Pumpkin Center Road is covered by two electric companies. The Demco line ends at my pole. Entergy provides electricity to everyone south of me. I'm the property owner, and neither Estelle nor Dustin nor Demco have contacted me about running electric lines across my land.

Back to Sunday: I tell my parents I need to be contacted by somebody about the right-a-ways because from the where the flag is set up, if they put a pole there the line would run across where I park my car and the corner of my house. I expected Demco to find out who the owner of the land was and contact me and we would work things out.

Monday: my parents are wakened--Dad works night now--by a slew of Demco trucks across my backyard. The pole was put up barely on Estelle's land, and they we're ready to string the wire. Dad tells them there is no right-a-way and they stop the job and leave. Doesn't matter that everyone supervising this job was letting them roll the work truck over my septic line. Doesn't matter that I wasn't contacted at all, until my mother called me at work to tell me what was going on.

Estelle takes all the blame, saying "Kindra's so hard to get a hold of." When Mom reported that I saw red. She never tried. All she gave a damn was getting those no-good, freeloading, sons-of-bitches set up in a trailer so we could look at them all day long without any regards to what plans I have for my own land. Without any regards for our feelings in the matter, but that's been going on ever since my uncle married their mother. I have an answering machine, a cell phone, and I sit at a job with a direct line to me, as well as having parents who are home all day with all of these numbers! I'm listed in the phone book!

Like I said I saw red, and declared that no way was any powerlines going over my property, and if Demco put them up I was sueing. The property in question is adjucent to Pumpkin Center Road and if they have to have electricity, they can get it from the road; I don't care how many poles they have to buy. That's not my problem.

Monday and Tuesday I had classes and couldn't deal with anything. But Tuesday Estelle brough Demco back out and they put a new red flag next to the clothes lines. Which is northwest of my house, but not very far. Yes this would get the powerline out of the way, except for two tiny details. They above mentioned, that line is not crossing my property since they are too good to come and talk to me. And Mom helped me measure last night. The flag is on my property. I don't need another pole for power.

So I've been calling Demco trying to speak with a field engineer. I've been nice with my messages so far. Tomorrrow's message will threaten lawsuit. Hopefully that will get me a call back. I did try to deal with it in office but only the field engineers know what I'm talking about. So I got home early and Mom and I walked the lines so she would know where they are, and I cussed about the situation, and told her I had homework. We went out to eat and I got back in time to do it.

Now did I work on homework? I cleaned out files and watched Apollo 13 with Jim and Marilyn Lovell's commentary. So I better work on it now.

Thanks for letting me vent.

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The BookWorm

Tally Day

Well strictly on numbers, I flunk. I assigned myself 258 tasks and only completed 36. But in the process I discovered that I need to count projects and tasks differently.

Has it helped me keep track of everything that needs doing? Writing and homework-wise, yes. The only non-writing project listed in the Garb Closet and even that involves writing. It's also a vain hope that I'll actually get to it, but that's beside the point.

Has it helped with stress? Not really. I'm beginning to think nothing will but cleaning. Or writing. When I am focused on one task to the exclusion of everything else. The current house/family/my rights stress doesn't help either. And that stress has nothing to do with my mother, father, sisters, or Chad. Just so you know.

Am I going to keep it up? For now it's the best To Do List I have. We'll see over the summer when I'm not in classes just how useful it is.

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The BookWorm

Tomorrow is Tally Day

I said I was going to give myself a full month trial on the Daily Writing Schedule and that means I have to work today.

Not that I ever stop working. If I'm not working, I'm driving and I'm starting to hate that pattern. Why I have to be in love with the part of the country that doesn't comprehend mass transit? I'm too in love with it to move, so I have to get more discliplined in finding a job in Hammond and writing so I can working at home. Same old song and dance, I know. Put up or shut up.

Note: Cheery mood I'm in, maybe the rest of the entries will explain that.

Yesterday, I focused on the physical. Cleaning out the chaos of my mind by dealing with the chaos of my house. Very feng shui, but I do practice it. Though lately I've been forgetting the principles. And you may not agree with the metaphysics, but clutter is bad for you no matter what your creed is. And I have too much clutter.

Bedroom and living room sorted, but not fully cleaned. I haven't unearthed my vaccum cleaner yet. You can walk through the kitchen now. And the cat no longer has piles of paperwork to threaten. I do feel slightly better, even though I'm no where close to finished.

Extended-family conflict is rearing its ugly head. I don't really want to go into it now, but I don't think they've realized just how badly they have pissed me off.

Red Lioness new funnies! Boy, I need the funnies. Read her comic The Three R's.

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The BookWorm

Need a new backbone

The pain in my shoulder is due to my back being out of whack. Chad immediately put the blame on my bags during the trip--specifically my black work bag. My response is "bite me" that bag is no heavier then than it is on any other day of the week.

Course my back will always be screwed up thanks to two cases of whiplash. So I'd like a replacement, and while you're at it, add something that will let me take charge of any situation dealing with my mother.

Though at least this was one of her shorter conversations. I think 'cause I kept falling asleep. I was in bed reading when she got back from trip, and something went wrong with Dad's computer. I had to fix it--or at least shut it up--and Mom wanted to tell me about the trip. Course I'm going to be drooping; I have to get up at 4am to get out of the house by 6. Why can't I take control of the situation?

Uplifting news: My kitchen is starting to look better, instead of made up of hand-me-down appliances. I just bought a countertop grill and a new microwave. Now I just have to save up for a fabo set of pots and pans, semi-pro grade.

Side note: I hae to stop buying DVDs for a while. Yeah, they're putting a lot of stuff I want at cheaper than reasonable prices, but I don't have time to watch them. But the Apollo 13 anniversery version is a great deal. You get Theater and IMAX versions, commentary from Ron Howard and Tom Hanks, commentary/interview with Jim and Marilyn Lovell, and a bunch of the technical stuff of what happened during history and how did they film it. Wal-Mart's price $13.05.

Reading: Finished Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire last night. It is a rewriting of Cinderella set in the Netherlands in 1637-ish in the middle of the tulip mania. I had plowed through his Wicked: the Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West earlier in the year, checked out through the library. Yes, that Wicked Witch of the West. So I went and bought everything he has written in that vein. Now I'm working on Lost, about a woman working on a novel about a woman haunted by the ghost of Jack the Ripper and ends up in a haunted house. Is it the ghost of her great-great-grandfather who, family legend claims, was Charles Dickens's childhood inspiration for Ebenezer Scrooge or something worse? The last book he's done is Mirror, Mirror, Snow White with the Borgias.

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The BookWorm