I wish they were. You see the problem with "well duh" epiphanies is that I forget them and fall back into the habits that led to needing an epiphany in the first place.
For example, my first epiphany for today: my blog is my writing practice. I'm rereading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, and feeling a little defeated that I can't manage the simple writing practice everyday in a notebook. I'm getting dressed and a quiet voice says "You write your blog just about every day."
Which is true, even when I don't get to type them, I'm writing almost everyday. It's not the free form craziness that Goldberg recommends and that's probably why I had trouble making the connection.
Now pushing myself from complacency with writing practice to diving into writing with a purpose is a different problem.
Second epiphany: I don't write family dynamics. As I was pondering the status of epiphanies that led to this post, what I wrote yesterday came to mind. I was exploring how family influnced my perfectionism streak (I will be typing it up; it had good points in it) when I realized it was reflected in my fiction. My protagonists are orphans or estranged from blood kin. If they have a family, it is one they created with a bond beyond mere genetics. If there is blood kin of non-estranged type, it's siblings. I realized the only exception to this was in the Legend of Zelda fanfics. There's probably more to mine here, but I feel it goes better with the other post.
Third epiphany: My parents were not abusive, so where did my sister and I get our shared self-esteem issues? I guess the epiphany is more that we share them. The third kid got all the social abilities that skipped me and the middle kid, and I have never noticed her have these problems. But Kai feels she was an ugly baby who eventually got better and since puberty I changed from an adorable child to a hideous fat blob with boobs. I felt that was in high school; I feel that way now.
I think a lot of it stems from high school. Sure I had boobs but I also had brains and glasses, and the cute boys I crushed on dated the stick-thin cheerleaders with none of the above (though I am doing them a disservice--most of them were in the top ten percent of our class). Dating-wise things didn't get better in college.
Chad puts up with a lot of shit from me over these issues. Because it cuts me hard when he calls me "cute." With size D knockers since the onset of puberty, I deserve to be stunning, sultry, femme fatale, Jessica Rabbit with the slit to the clevage. But my face, my stature, and my personality only add up to cute. How the hell do you equate cute with sexy?
Fourth epiphany: My gender has been assaulted. This particular epiphany is about a month old. I was reading through a feminist blog entry and all the comments it generated thinking how lucky I had been to have never experienced any of that harrassment. Then a memory clicked into place and I realized I had been. Just once, groped and made to feel like a puny small thing until I kicked out. Literally, I was grabbed up by a guy twice my size and where do you think his arms stopped? I didn't do any permanent damage and he put me down real quick and the other boys didn't grab me. And I had always put a size ratio to it. I wasn't going to let some guy twice my size toss me around. The gender fears never entered my head, even though I spent the rest of the party in view of the adults.
I seem to spend a lot of my memories like that, thinking one thing and never realizing the bigger picture. I always thought my great-grandfather had a "shaking disease"--that must have been how it was first described to me and it is what I observed. Mom tells me last week he had Parkinson's and then acted like I should have known all along.
Fifth epiphany: My ego (Freud not Vinnie) needs to get out of the way. The source of my perfectionism streak that blocks me to protect me and all the other armor quirks I have. I'm so deeply flawed but it can't let any of that out.
Yeah, I got to get through, over, around, or under that.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
In other news
The reason why I was distracted and not really available this weekend:
Atticus is not 1 until July 26, but since his parents had vacation now, and came this way, we celebrated.
The party went pretty well, and the Extendeds didn't give Chris a hard time. (Oh, I might start always referring to them that way--the Extendeds.) Ender was when poor Atticus who knew something was up and didn't take a nap had all his attention on the cake and everyone in the room said "Atticus look up!" for the picture. Tears insued. I blame his mother *wink.* She's always telling him "No Atticus, not off the floor, No Atticus." He approached the whole cake thing expecting to be told "no." You could see it all over his face.
So between all that, I worked on the office. Mostly rearranging, so the projects aren't looming over me. I got three classes papers all scanned in and made headway in the torn-out magazine articles. So even though I didn't finish the box I started on, I made visible progress.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Atticus is not 1 until July 26, but since his parents had vacation now, and came this way, we celebrated.
The party went pretty well, and the Extendeds didn't give Chris a hard time. (Oh, I might start always referring to them that way--the Extendeds.) Ender was when poor Atticus who knew something was up and didn't take a nap had all his attention on the cake and everyone in the room said "Atticus look up!" for the picture. Tears insued. I blame his mother *wink.* She's always telling him "No Atticus, not off the floor, No Atticus." He approached the whole cake thing expecting to be told "no." You could see it all over his face.
So between all that, I worked on the office. Mostly rearranging, so the projects aren't looming over me. I got three classes papers all scanned in and made headway in the torn-out magazine articles. So even though I didn't finish the box I started on, I made visible progress.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Weight Loss Week 2
I decided to make Mondays the weigh-in day. Why not? It already sucks, so adding weight gain can't make it worse and weight loss can only make it better. That's my theory; it will probably not work that way in practice. And Sunday made a week of being on the prescriptions.
Week 1 saw me start with 205 pounds according to the home scale.
Week 2: 199 pounds
It's hard to get worked up about 6 pounds. It could all be water weight since I just had my period last week. I need to take my measurements and keep track that way as well, but I'm procrastinating on it. I know it's better way to keep track, especially while working out. My only reason for procrastination is because I got so disgusted with the lack of progress the last time I measured.
Stupid reason to be stupid. I couldn't lose the weight with exercise and diet alone, so I should measure now. But it will have to be next week; I had not time to measure this morning while getting dressed.
I shouldn't be too hard on myself for only 6 pounds. A) Women don't lose weight fast. B) I didn't do portion control this weekend with the party. C) My exercise regime is non-existent.
If traffic cooperates, I can make it to the gym for a mile walk before yoga class. I still haven't made it to the pool for my one day of swimming. Don't know if this week will be any different.
The extra caffeine didn't cause any side effects Saturday and Sunday, even though I was drinking it like water. I did have a dizzy spell this morning, but I had taken a muscle relaxer last night. I hadn't taken any last week and the dizzy spell didn't last long.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Week 1 saw me start with 205 pounds according to the home scale.
Week 2: 199 pounds
It's hard to get worked up about 6 pounds. It could all be water weight since I just had my period last week. I need to take my measurements and keep track that way as well, but I'm procrastinating on it. I know it's better way to keep track, especially while working out. My only reason for procrastination is because I got so disgusted with the lack of progress the last time I measured.
Stupid reason to be stupid. I couldn't lose the weight with exercise and diet alone, so I should measure now. But it will have to be next week; I had not time to measure this morning while getting dressed.
I shouldn't be too hard on myself for only 6 pounds. A) Women don't lose weight fast. B) I didn't do portion control this weekend with the party. C) My exercise regime is non-existent.
If traffic cooperates, I can make it to the gym for a mile walk before yoga class. I still haven't made it to the pool for my one day of swimming. Don't know if this week will be any different.
The extra caffeine didn't cause any side effects Saturday and Sunday, even though I was drinking it like water. I did have a dizzy spell this morning, but I had taken a muscle relaxer last night. I hadn't taken any last week and the dizzy spell didn't last long.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Got One Thing Accomplished Today
The update to the BookWorm's Library is done.
Here's to the next week going better than the last.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Here's to the next week going better than the last.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Saturday, June 23, 2007
You are the Dash
You scored 30% Sociability and 47% Sophistication!
There's no denying that you have a certain flair. You don't mind being around others, especially your little brother, the hyphen, but you rarely emerge except when needed. You respond well to those who know how to treat you, but have only contempt for those who don't--you tend to embarass them every chance you get. Your only enemy is the colon--he will sometimes try to move in on your turf.
Only I couldn't find the code to post it all pretty. That's weird.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
There's no denying that you have a certain flair. You don't mind being around others, especially your little brother, the hyphen, but you rarely emerge except when needed. You respond well to those who know how to treat you, but have only contempt for those who don't--you tend to embarass them every chance you get. Your only enemy is the colon--he will sometimes try to move in on your turf.
Only I couldn't find the code to post it all pretty. That's weird.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
It was a bad week
Yeap, I'm admitting. A totally bad week, and while I do regret my outburst, a chunk of my discontent needed to be aired. Now to get the boyfriend in one location long enough to discuss it.
While admitting things, I totally flopped on doing any real work, could only manage enough oomph to get to the paying job and discovered that Yoga takes away my homicidal rage.
That's the part of all this that frightens me. I don't consider myself a violent person; if I fight it's because I have to. But to have fantasies of knocking someone's teeth down their throat when they have done nothing to deserve that... sometimes I fear I'm going to go on a postal rampage. And this would be the cue for the guilt-ladden part of the irrational phase.
But I'm not going to give into to it. I fucked up, but it's not the end of the world and I'm not going to Hell because of it. The boyfriend is still talking to me--even though the methods of communication are strained due to circumstances out of our control. I didn't kill anyone. The worst thing to happen is I didn't work on anything and my schedule is now more behind. What else is new, I'm always behind.
What is more disturbing is my lack of focus. What has been bothering me in a way I could not define--suffering from the lack of focus--and Mez put her finger on it and hit me with a sledgehammer. It doesn't really matter when it started, though I could probably trace back the evolution from mentions in my blog posts. I have to fix it now.
One of Mez's good idea is to claim another office space. My campus library offers study carrels, but I didn't know you had to apply each semester. We're going into the third week of the summer semester; they might not have any left. Which will mean a new plan, but I will worry about that after I'm denied. The Tangipahoa Parish library doesn't offer any private space, but I don't know what the new Springfield/Albany branch of the Livingston Parish library offers. If all else fails, find a coffee shop. But I need a place where I can set up one thing and only one thing and work on it.
Second observation actually came from me. I practice Feng Shui in my home (I probably need to export it to my paying job cubicle too, but that's another project) and a big warning sign is clutter. Clutter stiffles chi (the vital energy of the universe that connects all things both inanimate and animate), can and create sha (negative energy). Since the outer environment influences the body and mind, it can create or reflect illness in the body and unhealthy attitudes in the mind.
Go ahead and say hogwash and get it out of the way. But if you replace chi and sha with psycho-babble, what do you get?
Now for the evidence: inside my home office.
The north wall, not too bad. Books and binders are shelved. Files in the file drawers are labeled and not crowded to the point of exploding out.
The west wall more specifically, the front of the computer. The tape player for the stalled tape transfer project. Papers and reference books for the website update projects.
Corner of the desk as we move to the south wall. You can see more of the papers for the website updating projects.
The south wall view. The stacks and box of tapes for the tape transfering project. Mail that I haven't dealt with. More papers and a binder on the website updating projects.
My way out on the south side. Stacks of books that need to be entered and shelved. More notes and papers pulled out for some project I must still be working on otherwise I would have put them back. The stack of plastic boxes is papers to file or scan project.
The east wall. The table that should be free for me to lay stuff out on is covered with papers and my meal plan binder.
End of the circle. I'm not sure where the bag should go, but it doesn't belong here.
Two pics from the outside of the desk. Most of this stuff is for the scanning project.
I surround myself with multiple projects and then wonder why I can't commit to working on just one. For the body connection, the office is in the center of my house. If you overlay a stick figure with it's head in the main doorway, the office area corresponds with my torso. And all of my fat that I need to lose is on my torso.
Saturday is supposed to be my day off, and I will have to spend time with Atticus and the rest of the family. At the same time, I need to make massive headway and banish the clutter. So I'm going to concentrate on scanning today and only scanning to decrease the piles.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
While admitting things, I totally flopped on doing any real work, could only manage enough oomph to get to the paying job and discovered that Yoga takes away my homicidal rage.
That's the part of all this that frightens me. I don't consider myself a violent person; if I fight it's because I have to. But to have fantasies of knocking someone's teeth down their throat when they have done nothing to deserve that... sometimes I fear I'm going to go on a postal rampage. And this would be the cue for the guilt-ladden part of the irrational phase.
But I'm not going to give into to it. I fucked up, but it's not the end of the world and I'm not going to Hell because of it. The boyfriend is still talking to me--even though the methods of communication are strained due to circumstances out of our control. I didn't kill anyone. The worst thing to happen is I didn't work on anything and my schedule is now more behind. What else is new, I'm always behind.
What is more disturbing is my lack of focus. What has been bothering me in a way I could not define--suffering from the lack of focus--and Mez put her finger on it and hit me with a sledgehammer. It doesn't really matter when it started, though I could probably trace back the evolution from mentions in my blog posts. I have to fix it now.
One of Mez's good idea is to claim another office space. My campus library offers study carrels, but I didn't know you had to apply each semester. We're going into the third week of the summer semester; they might not have any left. Which will mean a new plan, but I will worry about that after I'm denied. The Tangipahoa Parish library doesn't offer any private space, but I don't know what the new Springfield/Albany branch of the Livingston Parish library offers. If all else fails, find a coffee shop. But I need a place where I can set up one thing and only one thing and work on it.
Second observation actually came from me. I practice Feng Shui in my home (I probably need to export it to my paying job cubicle too, but that's another project) and a big warning sign is clutter. Clutter stiffles chi (the vital energy of the universe that connects all things both inanimate and animate), can and create sha (negative energy). Since the outer environment influences the body and mind, it can create or reflect illness in the body and unhealthy attitudes in the mind.
Go ahead and say hogwash and get it out of the way. But if you replace chi and sha with psycho-babble, what do you get?
Now for the evidence: inside my home office.
The north wall, not too bad. Books and binders are shelved. Files in the file drawers are labeled and not crowded to the point of exploding out.
The west wall more specifically, the front of the computer. The tape player for the stalled tape transfer project. Papers and reference books for the website update projects.
Corner of the desk as we move to the south wall. You can see more of the papers for the website updating projects.
The south wall view. The stacks and box of tapes for the tape transfering project. Mail that I haven't dealt with. More papers and a binder on the website updating projects.
My way out on the south side. Stacks of books that need to be entered and shelved. More notes and papers pulled out for some project I must still be working on otherwise I would have put them back. The stack of plastic boxes is papers to file or scan project.
The east wall. The table that should be free for me to lay stuff out on is covered with papers and my meal plan binder.
End of the circle. I'm not sure where the bag should go, but it doesn't belong here.
Two pics from the outside of the desk. Most of this stuff is for the scanning project.
I surround myself with multiple projects and then wonder why I can't commit to working on just one. For the body connection, the office is in the center of my house. If you overlay a stick figure with it's head in the main doorway, the office area corresponds with my torso. And all of my fat that I need to lose is on my torso.
Saturday is supposed to be my day off, and I will have to spend time with Atticus and the rest of the family. At the same time, I need to make massive headway and banish the clutter. So I'm going to concentrate on scanning today and only scanning to decrease the piles.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Not available tonight
I didn't sleep good, the pills are making me wonky, and I'm in no condition to try to work.
Food, LotR film appendixes, and early bed time.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Food, LotR film appendixes, and early bed time.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Monday, June 18, 2007
Current State of Health
Weight: 205
Measurements: I'll deal with later.
Saturday: Start jotting down blog notes while waiting to do my baseline bloodwork this morning. Once that's done, I can start taking my prescriptions. The problem is offically Metabolic Syndrome, of which PCOS is a symptom of. Not a full-blown diabetic yet, but at the rate I keep gaining weight, I will be in a decade or less. So I get to take metformin to counter the high sugar levels in my blood and phentermine to suppress my appetite. And then I get to create a sensible diet out of all the diet paperwork I was given.
No wonder I've been chugging the caffeine. I hate needles and I hate that my body has betrayed me.
Feeling better now that I'm eating breakfast. I mentally understand that genetics played me a crappy hand. But if I could go back to my stupid 1995, 18-year-old self who thought her size 4, 120 pounds body was so fat and ugly, and bitch slap me, I would. "This is your future! 200 pounds in 5 years! Switch to diet soft drinks, eat more salads, and for goddess dake, avoid the mashed potatoes with every meal! And go take weighlifting or other aerobics classes at least once every semester!" Forget about going to witness history with a time machine, I want self intervention.
Sunday: My first time taking phentermine. The doctor did warn me that I might need to take half a pill, but I had to know what a whole pill would do to me. Buzzed almost out of this world. Driving wasn't an option, leaving the house didn't sound like a good idea, so I worked on computer stuff all day long. And the dose finally wore off when I started snarling in frustration at the computer stuff.
Monday: Only took half a pill this morning, and I seem to be functioning normally.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Measurements: I'll deal with later.
Saturday: Start jotting down blog notes while waiting to do my baseline bloodwork this morning. Once that's done, I can start taking my prescriptions. The problem is offically Metabolic Syndrome, of which PCOS is a symptom of. Not a full-blown diabetic yet, but at the rate I keep gaining weight, I will be in a decade or less. So I get to take metformin to counter the high sugar levels in my blood and phentermine to suppress my appetite. And then I get to create a sensible diet out of all the diet paperwork I was given.
No wonder I've been chugging the caffeine. I hate needles and I hate that my body has betrayed me.
Feeling better now that I'm eating breakfast. I mentally understand that genetics played me a crappy hand. But if I could go back to my stupid 1995, 18-year-old self who thought her size 4, 120 pounds body was so fat and ugly, and bitch slap me, I would. "This is your future! 200 pounds in 5 years! Switch to diet soft drinks, eat more salads, and for goddess dake, avoid the mashed potatoes with every meal! And go take weighlifting or other aerobics classes at least once every semester!" Forget about going to witness history with a time machine, I want self intervention.
Sunday: My first time taking phentermine. The doctor did warn me that I might need to take half a pill, but I had to know what a whole pill would do to me. Buzzed almost out of this world. Driving wasn't an option, leaving the house didn't sound like a good idea, so I worked on computer stuff all day long. And the dose finally wore off when I started snarling in frustration at the computer stuff.
Monday: Only took half a pill this morning, and I seem to be functioning normally.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Sometimes, I'm just plain spooky
I actually wrote the second poem before getting called on the carpet for my evil multitasking ways. Because I don't multitask with work I'm obviously not doing any work. Course exactly, how much am I supposed to get done, when I get called to help someone almost every five minutes?
But now we can work on lawsuits, so at least I have another office function to do now when the program is being a bitch.
I don't how much I'm going to be on at night, so you should probably only look for me chat-wise on the weekends.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
But now we can work on lawsuits, so at least I have another office function to do now when the program is being a bitch.
I don't how much I'm going to be on at night, so you should probably only look for me chat-wise on the weekends.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Goofed Up by the Weekend
Had too much caffeine Sunday to combat the leftover muscle relaxer and my sleep schedule isn't right yet. I will be going to yoga tonight and I need to add something to it. Weightlifting is still out and I'm feeling blah about walking. Swimming sounds good, but at the same time I want to wear myself out to sleep good--not be revved up from the exercise.
Updated Discipline Under Fire to get ready for 100 Words. Need to update my numbers for the stuff I have worked on in the past couple of days. Need to put the right files on the flashdrive so I can work on them. Need to read more poetry for class. Need to finish website updates, but the electricity has to stay on. (A storm knocked it out from 4pm to 9pm last night.) Need to catch up on writing group stuff. Need to catch up on emails. Need to work on everything.
Need more caffeine now!
Answered the call for more caffeine. Hopefully, I will exercise it away. Now I'm going to work on Educators' Guide.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Updated Discipline Under Fire to get ready for 100 Words. Need to update my numbers for the stuff I have worked on in the past couple of days. Need to put the right files on the flashdrive so I can work on them. Need to read more poetry for class. Need to finish website updates, but the electricity has to stay on. (A storm knocked it out from 4pm to 9pm last night.) Need to catch up on writing group stuff. Need to catch up on emails. Need to work on everything.
Need more caffeine now!
Answered the call for more caffeine. Hopefully, I will exercise it away. Now I'm going to work on Educators' Guide.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Thursday, June 07, 2007
First yoga class!
Yeap, I finally made it. It went well, I didn't damage anything, and will go back next week. Hopefully, next week won't be anything like this week. Anyways, I feel good only my neck is tight and that's a big improvement from all down my back.
I was planning on going swimming Saturday, but there's no money for gas until Monday, so I better save the driving for Sunday and work. Which, is really a good thing, because I need to work on the Educator's Guide that I didn't get to tonight since I had to cook lunch for tomorrow.
So finish websites and make headway into the Educator's Guide. And hope beyond home that the constant calling my name is almost over at work.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
I was planning on going swimming Saturday, but there's no money for gas until Monday, so I better save the driving for Sunday and work. Which, is really a good thing, because I need to work on the Educator's Guide that I didn't get to tonight since I had to cook lunch for tomorrow.
So finish websites and make headway into the Educator's Guide. And hope beyond home that the constant calling my name is almost over at work.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Wednesday hopefully will be better
The universe does not want me to go to the gym. Sunday: it pours down raining and I don't want to drive in that. Monday: physical therapy appointment. Tuesday: a wreck on the Interstate snarls up traffic so bad that even though I take back roads, I miss the class and pretty much the hours of operation.
Today the online class technically starts. Three essays to read every week, and we're supposed to write 5 - 10 poems along with a paper by the end. *Gulp*
I also figured out yesterday that raspberry iced tea--while good--is not good at 6pm when trying to reestablish the sleep routine. No chores this morning since I got up late. An hour in the morning used to be enough time. Is my house that filthy? Am I moving slower? Is it just readjusting my daily schedule? Regardless, Tuesday left me with two rooms left to vacuum and daily chores uncompleted. But nothing is piled up like it was on Sunday.
But cleaning Sunday went well--as in I made headway into the pile ups. I also made a decision to use natural cleaning products. I could say that I researched and decided it was better for my health and environment, but why lie? Truth is, I ran out of chemical degreaser that wasn't doing jack on my stove crud. I didn't want to go to the store and remembered vinegar was supposed to work. It worked, but lemon juice got my teapot unsticky from greasy ick. Looks like new now. So now I'm getting empty spray bottles and researching to see what I should mix up.
So while I have a free minute, it's time to start on homework.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Today the online class technically starts. Three essays to read every week, and we're supposed to write 5 - 10 poems along with a paper by the end. *Gulp*
I also figured out yesterday that raspberry iced tea--while good--is not good at 6pm when trying to reestablish the sleep routine. No chores this morning since I got up late. An hour in the morning used to be enough time. Is my house that filthy? Am I moving slower? Is it just readjusting my daily schedule? Regardless, Tuesday left me with two rooms left to vacuum and daily chores uncompleted. But nothing is piled up like it was on Sunday.
But cleaning Sunday went well--as in I made headway into the pile ups. I also made a decision to use natural cleaning products. I could say that I researched and decided it was better for my health and environment, but why lie? Truth is, I ran out of chemical degreaser that wasn't doing jack on my stove crud. I didn't want to go to the store and remembered vinegar was supposed to work. It worked, but lemon juice got my teapot unsticky from greasy ick. Looks like new now. So now I'm getting empty spray bottles and researching to see what I should mix up.
So while I have a free minute, it's time to start on homework.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Sunday, June 03, 2007
And just that quickly
I'm off schedule again. It must be some sort of talent, or a curse. I haven't decided yet.
Good news: I think we're caught up with the switch over to the new system at the paying job. Just a word of advice, next time bringing a new system online and changing how three divisions work, log in some weekend hours so you don't have to worry about new stuff piling on top of the old stuff waiting. I think I would have liked earning my 6.5 hours of overtime on a Saturday or the Monday we were off, rather than every day last week.
Other news: I think the schedule may have opened up enough to let me go do exercises. The gym at SLU offers both Tai Chi and Yoga 3 to 4 days a week during the Summer schedule, and when I can be reasonable sure I can get there for the classes. I don't want to start anything high impact and I'm not well enough for weightlifting, so I think even one of these two classes would be a good start.
Bad news: My house is practically and completely upside down. I really need to get it into shape so I can concentrate on other projects like writing, the tape migration, and remodeling the bathroom.
Actually I'm not being fair to the house. Most of the chaos is limited to the kitchen and office; the other rooms need tidying that is normal. It's just I got off my cleaning schedule back in March and haven't managed to get back on it. And the massive doses of caffeine the past week haven't helped. Another reason I want to go to the gym today, to wear my ass out to sleep good and wake up on time.
So looking at the writing schedule, I'm supposed to work on Alt. BM Site today, which I never got a chance to start. I think the Library's changes are done for this update at least. I will need to spend some time on the Alt. BM Site, mainly because I haven't yet, and changing things with Drupal always makes me antsy.
So I guess the plan for today is to the list the house chores, and work on the Alt. BM Site between them until about 5pm when I go workout. *Shrug* At least it's a plan.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Good news: I think we're caught up with the switch over to the new system at the paying job. Just a word of advice, next time bringing a new system online and changing how three divisions work, log in some weekend hours so you don't have to worry about new stuff piling on top of the old stuff waiting. I think I would have liked earning my 6.5 hours of overtime on a Saturday or the Monday we were off, rather than every day last week.
Other news: I think the schedule may have opened up enough to let me go do exercises. The gym at SLU offers both Tai Chi and Yoga 3 to 4 days a week during the Summer schedule, and when I can be reasonable sure I can get there for the classes. I don't want to start anything high impact and I'm not well enough for weightlifting, so I think even one of these two classes would be a good start.
Bad news: My house is practically and completely upside down. I really need to get it into shape so I can concentrate on other projects like writing, the tape migration, and remodeling the bathroom.
Actually I'm not being fair to the house. Most of the chaos is limited to the kitchen and office; the other rooms need tidying that is normal. It's just I got off my cleaning schedule back in March and haven't managed to get back on it. And the massive doses of caffeine the past week haven't helped. Another reason I want to go to the gym today, to wear my ass out to sleep good and wake up on time.
So looking at the writing schedule, I'm supposed to work on Alt. BM Site today, which I never got a chance to start. I think the Library's changes are done for this update at least. I will need to spend some time on the Alt. BM Site, mainly because I haven't yet, and changing things with Drupal always makes me antsy.
So I guess the plan for today is to the list the house chores, and work on the Alt. BM Site between them until about 5pm when I go workout. *Shrug* At least it's a plan.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
New system
*Glomp Jazz* JAZZIE!!!
And we started the new system at work Tuesday. The only reason I'm home now is because of physical therapy appointment. I probabably won't get cauht up on everything else till the end of the week if then.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
Progress Bar from Writertopia
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
And we started the new system at work Tuesday. The only reason I'm home now is because of physical therapy appointment. I probabably won't get cauht up on everything else till the end of the week if then.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
Progress Bar from Writertopia
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Monday, May 28, 2007
Weird three-day weekend
My real plans got shoved aside, so I ended up at the house. I took my mother to see Georgia Rules for a belated Mother's Day present and she enjoyed it. I kept having to go back and forth to the store twice before I got the right equipment to transfer cassette tapes to the harddrive. I have 5 recorded now that need further editing to split songs apart and shrink to mp3s or burn to CDs.
I was going to work on Alt BM Site, but the hosts email me today and ask not to update because they are moving both sites to a new server. So I try to work on the Library's update and get hopelessly confused over the state of the Writing Tutorials. But I have officially canceled the newsletter now, and I'm not sure how many I have to add to the archive.
The Educator's Guide just wasn't grooving. I don't know if it was just the not being used to working on the laptop (since the desktop was busy with the recording) or if what I was recording just not conductive to writing.
Paperwork I did get some progress on. I have one box of various things to deal with, the receipts to go into Quicken basket, the papers to scan are in one place instead of five, and writing related stuff is in one pile. Now that last pile probably needs me to go through it again and see if some of it can be filed in binders or shelved. I don't really know how much clean space I acquired since I filled it with audio tapes.
So I don't know why I just feel so blah and I wasted the whole weekend. I think I'm going to watch some Perry Mason and just veg until bedtime.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
I was going to work on Alt BM Site, but the hosts email me today and ask not to update because they are moving both sites to a new server. So I try to work on the Library's update and get hopelessly confused over the state of the Writing Tutorials. But I have officially canceled the newsletter now, and I'm not sure how many I have to add to the archive.
The Educator's Guide just wasn't grooving. I don't know if it was just the not being used to working on the laptop (since the desktop was busy with the recording) or if what I was recording just not conductive to writing.
Paperwork I did get some progress on. I have one box of various things to deal with, the receipts to go into Quicken basket, the papers to scan are in one place instead of five, and writing related stuff is in one pile. Now that last pile probably needs me to go through it again and see if some of it can be filed in binders or shelved. I don't really know how much clean space I acquired since I filled it with audio tapes.
So I don't know why I just feel so blah and I wasted the whole weekend. I think I'm going to watch some Perry Mason and just veg until bedtime.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
This week
Not a good night last night. I've done some changes to offline copy of "Blue Man" and some changes to the online Google version. I tried to get all the changes to one version, which I will upload. The highlights transferred as background patterns and I had to take them off one paragraph at a time. I started screaming at the computer and decided it was time to stop. Muscle relaxers and back pain must make me surly. Today, I changed it to colored text. Maybe that will work better.
I did too much this weekend and have suffered for the past two days because I didn't take any muscle relaxers. So last night was my first one this week, and I still feel sleepy. I probably need to take another one tonight after physical therapy.
No bomb threats at work since Wednesday. No, we STILL haven't been told anything. So here's all I know:
Monday: 3 emailed bomb threats in the morning. The second one said something along the lines: "You're not taking me seriously since I see you haven't evacuated the building." The third was "I'm going to blow up the building in 10 minutes." After that one it was a mandatory evacuation, and the building was closed for the rest of the day.
Tuesday: 1 emailed bomb threat around 10:30 and mandatory evacuation. I left my car keys on my desk. Came back at 1pm, not to do any work, but to get my keys and go home if they were opening the building. They were doing an intensive mainframe search and didn't want us on the computer system. Building closed again. A cop brought my keys down to me.
Wednesday: Second-hand news. Mom was freaking out, coupled with stress from my grandmother's health, so I stayed home. Bad decision because I didn't get anything I wanted to get done, done. :p Another bomb threat at noon, they didn't close the building. And eventually took a co-worker's son who worked in the Mailroom in for questioning.
Thursday: Rumor mill has the son arrested. Rumor mill also says the cops took a laptop from the training room--that was were the emails were being sent from. Suspect was returned to work because all they had on him was the fact that he owns a Blackberry and somebody reported him.
I really couldn't see him doing it, not with his mother's health the way it is and his aunt undergoing cancer surgery during all this.
And nothing has happened since then, including no reassuring prattle from our bosses. A lot of people's nerves are still shot.
To change subjects, I miss my CD store. I have no idea if it moved from the mall or just closed up entirely. I went to Wal-Mart looking for female rockers. I found an Alanis Morisette and already have Garbage, so that's the type of stuff I'm looking for. It's for Zy's soundtrack incidently. The problem with Wal-Mart and Taget and stores like that, the clerks are not there to help you make music decisions but only to keep you from shoplifting merchandise and getting the heavy items. I'm staring at CDs covers and they don't tell me anything about how the woman sings. So you can rule out by covers as being hiphop/R&B, but a lot you can't distinguish. And it doesn't help that the only two catagories seem to be "country" and "everything else." I don't always want to shop with a clerk over my shoulder, but when I want to ask someone for recommendations, I want one and now.
I'm sure I'm probably going to be yelled at by someone for buying CDs and supporting RIAA and not looking into Internet radio. A lot of it boils down to I listen to music in my car, which doesn't like mp3s. I don't have an mp3 player. And I can't keep up with my best friend's podcasts or any others people point me too. I can't download things to my paying job computer and I'm usually busy with something else when I get home. CDs actually fit my life, even though I don't agree with the policies of the RIAA.
That's all I've got for today. Working at trying to stay awake.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
I did too much this weekend and have suffered for the past two days because I didn't take any muscle relaxers. So last night was my first one this week, and I still feel sleepy. I probably need to take another one tonight after physical therapy.
No bomb threats at work since Wednesday. No, we STILL haven't been told anything. So here's all I know:
Monday: 3 emailed bomb threats in the morning. The second one said something along the lines: "You're not taking me seriously since I see you haven't evacuated the building." The third was "I'm going to blow up the building in 10 minutes." After that one it was a mandatory evacuation, and the building was closed for the rest of the day.
Tuesday: 1 emailed bomb threat around 10:30 and mandatory evacuation. I left my car keys on my desk. Came back at 1pm, not to do any work, but to get my keys and go home if they were opening the building. They were doing an intensive mainframe search and didn't want us on the computer system. Building closed again. A cop brought my keys down to me.
Wednesday: Second-hand news. Mom was freaking out, coupled with stress from my grandmother's health, so I stayed home. Bad decision because I didn't get anything I wanted to get done, done. :p Another bomb threat at noon, they didn't close the building. And eventually took a co-worker's son who worked in the Mailroom in for questioning.
Thursday: Rumor mill has the son arrested. Rumor mill also says the cops took a laptop from the training room--that was were the emails were being sent from. Suspect was returned to work because all they had on him was the fact that he owns a Blackberry and somebody reported him.
I really couldn't see him doing it, not with his mother's health the way it is and his aunt undergoing cancer surgery during all this.
And nothing has happened since then, including no reassuring prattle from our bosses. A lot of people's nerves are still shot.
To change subjects, I miss my CD store. I have no idea if it moved from the mall or just closed up entirely. I went to Wal-Mart looking for female rockers. I found an Alanis Morisette and already have Garbage, so that's the type of stuff I'm looking for. It's for Zy's soundtrack incidently. The problem with Wal-Mart and Taget and stores like that, the clerks are not there to help you make music decisions but only to keep you from shoplifting merchandise and getting the heavy items. I'm staring at CDs covers and they don't tell me anything about how the woman sings. So you can rule out by covers as being hiphop/R&B, but a lot you can't distinguish. And it doesn't help that the only two catagories seem to be "country" and "everything else." I don't always want to shop with a clerk over my shoulder, but when I want to ask someone for recommendations, I want one and now.
I'm sure I'm probably going to be yelled at by someone for buying CDs and supporting RIAA and not looking into Internet radio. A lot of it boils down to I listen to music in my car, which doesn't like mp3s. I don't have an mp3 player. And I can't keep up with my best friend's podcasts or any others people point me too. I can't download things to my paying job computer and I'm usually busy with something else when I get home. CDs actually fit my life, even though I don't agree with the policies of the RIAA.
That's all I've got for today. Working at trying to stay awake.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
W.W.T.D.D. ?
ROFLOL!!!!!!!
Home on the Strange: Who is Your Savior? and Who is Your Savior? (Regeneration Remix)
The Doctor if you please! LOL!!! I'm so with Tom on this. Let's start a new religion! What Would the Doctor Do?
And I've been trying to look sexy in my sneakers like 10. (That's my cover story anyway. I really just need to buy some new work shoes.)
Course I'm limited to who I can share this with. My office is out. I get to giggle in my cubicle again.
Also reminded of Neil's essay on the Doctor: The Nature of the Infection.
I'm going to have "Who Is In Time" song in my head all day. And that's not bad at all. :D
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Home on the Strange: Who is Your Savior? and Who is Your Savior? (Regeneration Remix)
The Doctor if you please! LOL!!! I'm so with Tom on this. Let's start a new religion! What Would the Doctor Do?
And I've been trying to look sexy in my sneakers like 10. (That's my cover story anyway. I really just need to buy some new work shoes.)
Course I'm limited to who I can share this with. My office is out. I get to giggle in my cubicle again.
Also reminded of Neil's essay on the Doctor: The Nature of the Infection.
I'm going to have "Who Is In Time" song in my head all day. And that's not bad at all. :D
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Nothing has really gone to plan today
My deposit is still pending so no buying things or paying the electric bill. I can't get into cPanel for Alt. Biker Mice Site to get the backup done. At least I got my summer semester financial aid award letter in the mail. And the weather's nice.
So modification of plans, work on the Library instead. I have a lot I want to do, but it's really a lot of little things. But to start I have to clean off the computer's desktop so I can find out if the new stuff downloaded last night.
Update: SQUEE! I have embedded music the user can control! *Insert maniacal laughter here* Yes, I know it's been out for a while, but I got it to work without having to call for help.
Now hopefully the editing and ripping programs will be so accommodating.
Update: Okay, you know how I said today nothing has gone according to plan and it was looking like a really bad day? FORGET IT! I can USE the editing and ripping programs! Yes, this is a big deal because I usually trip over my feet when it comes to new programs.
Oh yeah, this update to the Library is gonna kick some rock 'n roll ass.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
Progress Bar from Writertopia
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
So modification of plans, work on the Library instead. I have a lot I want to do, but it's really a lot of little things. But to start I have to clean off the computer's desktop so I can find out if the new stuff downloaded last night.
Update: SQUEE! I have embedded music the user can control! *Insert maniacal laughter here* Yes, I know it's been out for a while, but I got it to work without having to call for help.
Now hopefully the editing and ripping programs will be so accommodating.
Update: Okay, you know how I said today nothing has gone according to plan and it was looking like a really bad day? FORGET IT! I can USE the editing and ripping programs! Yes, this is a big deal because I usually trip over my feet when it comes to new programs.
Oh yeah, this update to the Library is gonna kick some rock 'n roll ass.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
Progress Bar from Writertopia
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Thursday, May 17, 2007
This ain't good
It's gotta be resistance that I hate the outline. I think it's a stupid outline and shows no sensitivity.
It's a bloody outline. It's not supposed to show sensitivity! And it's what the boss wants.
Okay, where to stick falconry is an honest question. I don't think it really fits with "Knights and Jousting" but it has nothing to do with the other topics either. Maybe bump it up to its own section until we get more stuff like it?
And only one title on the outline doesn't suck.
Yeah, that's resistance again.
And I have a page count (20 - 30), which is making me twitchy cause I'm so used to working with word counts. But just judging by the preliminary numbers, I have to slash the Educator's Guide in half for starters. Plus add in the characters.
My new haircut was a big hit with everybody.
YES! I found my missing notes from the History of the Book class. Or at least one of them. Didn't I make notes on the second turn in? *Go digging again* No, that would be just too damn easy. ARGH! I remember doing it. Proof yet again that I need to handle the piles of paperwork crisis because I can't find anything.
This week has been hell and I'm cranky. I'm going to coddle the cranky by going to bed early and really do it tonight. Notes are in a safe binder that I need to relabel. I have an official outline that sucks, but gives me a great excuse of what not to include in the 2008 version. I'm going to count that as a victory, and look forward to my plan of attack.
Plan of attack: 1). move only the files that will be included as text to the 2008 folder. 2). Match AMF characters with sections. 3). Divide out the cookbook as a separate file from the guide and activity book, but worry about making it pretty later.
So after that my question would be, do I write the intros first and then chop? Or chop and then write? And if I cut each sections' previously written word count in half, will that get me to 30 pages of end project?
Now the brain is just being silly. Off to bed.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
It's a bloody outline. It's not supposed to show sensitivity! And it's what the boss wants.
Okay, where to stick falconry is an honest question. I don't think it really fits with "Knights and Jousting" but it has nothing to do with the other topics either. Maybe bump it up to its own section until we get more stuff like it?
And only one title on the outline doesn't suck.
Yeah, that's resistance again.
And I have a page count (20 - 30), which is making me twitchy cause I'm so used to working with word counts. But just judging by the preliminary numbers, I have to slash the Educator's Guide in half for starters. Plus add in the characters.
My new haircut was a big hit with everybody.
YES! I found my missing notes from the History of the Book class. Or at least one of them. Didn't I make notes on the second turn in? *Go digging again* No, that would be just too damn easy. ARGH! I remember doing it. Proof yet again that I need to handle the piles of paperwork crisis because I can't find anything.
This week has been hell and I'm cranky. I'm going to coddle the cranky by going to bed early and really do it tonight. Notes are in a safe binder that I need to relabel. I have an official outline that sucks, but gives me a great excuse of what not to include in the 2008 version. I'm going to count that as a victory, and look forward to my plan of attack.
Plan of attack: 1). move only the files that will be included as text to the 2008 folder. 2). Match AMF characters with sections. 3). Divide out the cookbook as a separate file from the guide and activity book, but worry about making it pretty later.
So after that my question would be, do I write the intros first and then chop? Or chop and then write? And if I cut each sections' previously written word count in half, will that get me to 30 pages of end project?
Now the brain is just being silly. Off to bed.
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Writing schedule
Monday: off
Tuesday: Blue Man revision
Wednesday: Blue man revision
Thursday: Educators guide
Friday: Updates to the library
Saturday: day off
Sunday: updates to BMFM
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
Tuesday: Blue Man revision
Wednesday: Blue man revision
Thursday: Educators guide
Friday: Updates to the library
Saturday: day off
Sunday: updates to BMFM
Read Free!
The BookWorm
There is a new renaissance festival in Louisiana! Check out the Acadiana Medieval Faire at: http://www.acadianafaire.org/
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