Officially in Burnout

Date Started: March 19, 2026
Date Finished: March 29, 2026
Date Posted: April 4, 2026

My therapist called it in March 17th's session, but honestly I have been teetering on the verge of it for so long I don't remember what not burnout feels like. So confirmation basically and a call to action that my self-care to stave it off/cure it was not enough and I need to do more.

And by doing more I mean doing different and less.

There's a question after finding the above gif: what is the difference between a nervous breakdown and burnout?

Quick Google Search Later

Okay, a nervous breakdown renders an individual temporarily unable to function in daily life. A burnout is typically related to one's professional life and cumulative workplace stress. Probably because they measured professional caregivers but I didn't research that deep.

I'm still figuring out what I'm dropping or pushing back. My therapist suggested dropping down to three boulders or projects. Namely, I need to tweak Trello to figure that out. I did start rereading my notes on Laziness Does Not Exist and pulled out my copies of Dear Writer, Are You in Burnout? by Becca Syme and Burnout: the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski DMA. They also have a workbook that I should get.

The Nagoskis' definition of burnout:

1. emotional exhaustion - the fatigue that comes from caring too much, for too long;
2. depersonalization - the depletion of empathy, caring, and compassion; and
3. decreased sense of accomplishment - an unconquerable sense of futility: feeling that nothing you do makes any difference

(page xi Burnout)

And they found those components from Herbert Freudenberger from 1975. It's older than I am. But they make the connection between burnout to all women because we have been indoctrinated with Human Giver Syndrome by the patriarchy. I learned about the Nagoskis' work through podcasts and ended up listening to their podcast The Feminist Survival Project, bought Burnout, and have continued listening to the Feminists Survival Project 2025, which expands on their work in the years since and under Trump 2.0.

So I'm not in a nervous breakdown because I can still function (get out of bed, get dressed, feed myself, go to work) but I am feeling those three components for sure.

Becca Syme I learned about from the author/writing podcasts. She's been on the Creative Penn Podcast twice (Dealing With Change And How To Build Resilience As An Author With Becca Syme and Loki Is In Charge. How Authors Can Thrive In A Time Of Transition With Becca Syme). Rachael Herron of Ink In Your Veins podcast raved about the results she had gotten from taking the CliftonStrengths test and the coaching Becca Syme offers. So I bought most of the books in her Dear Writer, series, took the CliftonStengths test, and followed Becca's Quitcast on YouTube.

I've read these previously back when I thought Trump 1.0 alone was the source of everything I was feeling or not feeling, not realizing what role family dynamics and trends picked up by society (If You Were Born Between 1976–1985, This Video Will Finally Make Sense of You) played on my self.

Tuesday, March 17: is when I had my meltdown while commuting and therapy session.

Wednesday, March 18: telling people about the burnout diagnosis and processing what I needed to do and change. I prioritized inserting meditation breaks into my work flow at the paying job on my therapist's recommendation. Trello also made some changes that I had to chip away at making while trying to figure out what my boulders are for March and April. My coworker with the broken leg came for a paperwork visit and will be out until May. Yeah, it was March and it got extended because of her health and that happened after my therapy appointment. My therapist flagged that I had probably hit one too many changes to cope with that contributed to pushing me over the burnout edge.

Ended the day shopping for Dad at Sam's Club.

Thursday, March 19: finished reformatting Trello and typing up this blog post. Told my supervisor about the burnout and what time changes I think I need (back to a 4/10s schedule). Supervisor took it to the deputy commissioner, so he has to make a decision about it now, but I will probably need to accept that I'm on 5/8's until May.

Friday, March 20: typed more of this blog post and worked on reorganizing my digital files, which was the first chance I had to work on them since the burnout reveal. Shopped at Sprouts, Walmart, Ross, and PetSmart for my shopping list with the goal of not leaving my house over the weekend.

Saturday, March 21: I listed out everything I had to do and everything I want to do. I have previously recognized that I only have eight hours of energy to give to the chores list that I use a timer method with and I try to keep the list in that range, but the list of everything filled up the entire page of a pad. And then I had to pivot to only doing chores and food prep to keep all the food I had bought and reset the kitchen. All of that on my plate so Sunday could be only what had to be done to stay alive and reading for my long-ass rest.

And I still said yes to taking Dad out to eat for supper, which I highly resented by the time that rolled around.

Sunday, March 22: I got distracted by Pinterest leading me to Uncommon Goods, so it took a while to settle back in the bed with the books. And I started writing more on this blog post.

My therapist wants me to narrow my projects. I need to make energy pennies to run myself and get out of burnout. My brain wants all the projects and already completed because of the Laziness Lie. I already know that's not possible but rereading those notes to jog that brain weasel's memory.

I color-coded my graph for the 24/7 Worksheet from Burnout. I do have 8 hours of sleep opportunity Monday - Friday as long as I go to bed at 8 p.m. It becomes 10 hours on Saturday and Sunday by extending my waking up to 6 a.m. I have to put 30 minutes of yoga every day on the schedule but will be stretching only to combat my tech neck and be a meditation session. I have two 90-minute blocks daily for chores, including grooming. Saturday is currently all chore time with yoga at the studio carved out, leaving Sunday full of active rest or just plain rest when not doing anything chore-like.

Dad's needs are not represented, which isn't accurate, but I can't cope with him if I don't put more rest into my schedule.

I did discover how necessary the meditation sessions are and how I have to guard against falling into my bad work habits. Tuesday, March 24, I had the whole day off from the paying job to deal with Dad's stuff and I used my free time to work on projects I haven't been working on for weeks and only had one meditation session and didn't take a nap. That was a mistake I will try not to repeat.

Also no eureka about how to shrink my projects yet. What are my projects? How do I shrink that list?

So trying to figure that out took the next week. Why did it take so long? Brain suffering with burnout doesn't run at full capacity. Not only do I have second shift after work with my chores, apparantly attentional residue (you never let go of a task because part of your brain is still managing it), and some fun third shift of anticipating what everyone around me needs before they need it and running mental simulations of how stuff may go. (YouTube: Psychology Of Xennials: Why You BURNED Out Before Anyone Noticed. My Trello board became a dumping ground of tasks on cards and how the hell to sort that?

I had to brain dump a couple of times, shuffle the cards on Trello, and kept looking for some advice on how to shrink the project list. Most of it was to focus on asking what serves the burnout sufferer's values and that's what the sufferer should prioritize.

Doing less is possible, majority of what I do aligns with my values, and that question doesn't help me decide what goes first. Because my poor foggy burned out brain says everything is equally important and I should have already finished it and moved onto the next thing on the treadmill. Oh, hello, Laziness Lie. You're not getting me to not rest. Rest is what I need.

What finally worked was realizing some things had external deadlines and I should prioritize based on the calendar and don't go above 7 items on the Big Rocks list. Seven has been that limit since last year, but I need to work in weekly check in so I actually see the number of Big Rocks go down each week.

Another thing that helped was realizing EVERYTHING I have to do can be categorized with:

• Constants = what has to be done to be functional human being.
• Deadlines = external due date that I need to remember
• No Deadline so just Nice-To-Do = most of what I'd rather be doing, hobby stuff, writing stuff, digital projects that will make my life easier but no external deadlines set by someone else or law

Constants need to be off the Big Rocks list. These are things like daily and weekly chores so my house doesn't become a sty, my health needs, and some of Dad's care-giving needs. Deadlines turned out to be the source of my OMG WHAT AM I FORGETTING THERE ARE THINGS I AM FORGETTING alarm that was not helping the burned-out brain recover.

Yeah, that's the one. So far, I have income taxes (April 15th) and refinancing my mortgage so I can remodel my house (May 31st). Both projects are big and scary enough to set off the alarm, and while the alarm wasn't helping me feel good, it was right that I needed to get cracking on them.

Nice-To-Do is a more cheerful way to identify the little and bigger projects that will be nice to have done, but don't impede my life at this point. Like finishing the rollout pantry. I can use it without the putty and painting it and buying the putty and primer has to wait on free money in the paycheck, so it goes here. Sadly, writing fic goes here too. And I have been focusing on this burnout research and consolidating it into this post when I have had writing time. I'm hoping now that it's done I can work on fic again.

Saturday, April 4: I finally got free time to post this post. So this is how March went.

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The BookWorm

Why Do I Leave So Many Tabs Open?

Lincoln High School in Walla Walla Tries a New Approach to School Discipline - Suspensions Drop by 85%: I sincerely agree that this approach needs to be moved into all schools.

Jezebel: Rock the Slut Vote If you're as tired of old, white men telling you what to do with your body as I am, you should be voting.

Stephen King: Tax Me, for F@%&’s Sake! No matter how you feel about Stephen King's writing, he grew up poor and was a poor adult with a family to support when Carrie sold. He understands (a hell of a lot more than Mitt Romney EVER will) why people need government safety nets.

LASERs I'm providing this link so you can educate yourself what new bonehead moves the state Legislature is trying to pull. I need to find a spot of Zen and write up my coherent "I'm a taxpayer, a state worker, voter, and a reader, asshole. Don't you dare try to pull this shit!" letter to my state representatives. Zen, so I don't cuss them out. But this stance of we want government services but don't want to pay anyone to do them is bullshit. And then to tax us for the joy of working for the state government? Colbert, take over please.

Thanks.

More for me than anyone else.

The Earth is warming up. The rate of warming has increased in the past century or so. This corresponds to the time of the Industrial Revolution, when we started dumping greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. Greenhouse gases warm the planet (hence the name) — if they didn’t we’d have an average temperature below the freezing point of water. Carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas which is dumped into the atmosphere by humans to the tune of 30 billion tons per year, 100 times the amount from volcanoes. And finally, approximately 97% of climatologists who actually study climate agree that global warming is real, and caused by humans. -- Bad Astronomy: More Debunking of the ex-NASA 49 climate change deniers

Matthew Vines: The Gay Debate: Homosexuality and the Bible He has deconstructed the argument with the Bible and it is AWESOME.

Another moment of AWESOME Caine's Arcade. This will be a charity I'll donate to when I can because this amount of ingenuity must be encouraged for the sake of us all.

Lifehacker reviewed KanbanFlow and I decided to give it a try for a few reasons. Namely, I keep looking for a GTD list tool that doesn't let me oops forgot anything and actually encourages me to finish projects but also keeps the repetitive tasks that should be habits by now but aren't at the forefront. Two: KanbanFlow has limits built into it (can only have three tasks In Progress at one time), so I must chose what I'm doing and I'm aware of the choice. Three: felt like it.

It took three days to put in all my lists, but it was time well spent. First discovery: holy crap, I list a hell of a lot on my weekly to do list and rarely accomplish a third of it. Not a new revelation, but it was time to clean off the Big Rocks list and keeping my choices narrowed down to three in progress.

Second discovery: I meant to go through my writing projects and close a lot of them out. The list says I'm still writing most, when all I have left to do is publish it at the Library. Oops.

Third discovery: I wish they had included a copy 'n paste feature, but now that all the repetitive stuff is in, I don't need it as much.

Fourth discovery: I scheduled my timed stuff by 15 minute intervals, so using the Pomodoro timer doesn't mesh well, but it has a nice loud ding that's audible over the podcast I was listening to.

Writing Projects: Now I need to set aside some time to clean off the list, but it doesn't look like it will be this week. I haven't had as much free time at the paying job to concentrate on Stellar Gift of Death and been crashing hard when I get home, 7:30 pm bedtime. Why I haven't a clue. I did find a free map making program so I can make a legible map of the city for Forget the Sun, when I have the time and brain power to learn it.

This weekend is tentatively scheduled to be spent with friends and Marvel-trademarked spandex. Plans are still unformed as of today, but I do need a break from the housework and computer work I've been doing for so long. :p

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The BookWorm

What I’ve Learned

The past four days have been busy with me learning things I had no intention of learning. I hope it’s not an indication of the rest of the week.

On Friday: My Good Friday was 90% non-religious unless you count “Oh God why aren’t you open!” as a prayer, then the number changes to 60%. For starters I had to go shopping, get the oil changed in Rizzo, see about getting a haircut, and go to a great-aunt’s funeral.

Crap, learning things actually started on Thursday when I found out Paris Parker no longer give complimentary haircuts for Locks of Love donations. This is the only way I’ve cut my hair for the past ten years, so changing things now. *raspberry*

Back to Friday, Dad said the oil change place opened at 7am. I left home at 7:30am. New hair salon was closed (expected since it was the crack of dawn) but didn’t have hours posted on the door (unexpected). Headed to oil change station and they’re setting up for the day. They open at 8. Go to Tuesday Morning. They open at 10. Ross opens at 9:30. I reminded myself I needed a new extension cord that I can get at Lowe’s. Lowe’s is open because they cater to contractors.

Not only is Lowe’s open, the parking lot was full. Which makes sense, everyone in Hammond was there because nothing else was open! Extension cord procured, followed by the oil change, which took about 30 minutes. So I headed to TJMaxx, since none of the other stores on my list were open. TJMaxx opens at 9:30.

At this point, the breakfast I had at home was long gone so I retreated to McDonald’s, refueled, and waited for 9:30. Everything I needed was at TJMaxx and I made it to the funeral on time.

Lesson: I have successfully reprogrammed my bio-rhythms out of sync with my home town and if I have been up for hours, you should be too. *growls*

Saturday: I learned that Dad’s Santa Fe has a kill switch, but I don’t know how I activated it. Luckily, the car started again before someone exiting the Westbank Expressway killed me and Mom.

Sunday: I finally had time to really flea treat the house. I had already dosed Mustard with the spot treatment, so first he got shampooed and kicked out of the house while I vacuumed and sprayed the floors. I learned that one large can of the flea killing spray is only enough to cover half the house.

Monday: There will be no time for writing when over half the office is M.I.A. and there’s a payment deadline on the 15th along with the mail running on Good Friday. I ended up working an hour and forty-five minutes overtime. Which derailed my plans for after work, luckily there were adjustable.

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The BookWorm

More River news

For my international friends, Wikipedia: the Mississippi River. They do a much better job of showing just how big the Big Muddy is, and how many states have been affected by this flooding.

WAFB's River Watch Page: one of the Baton Rouge news stations, the CBS affiliate, with the best online coverage IMHO.

CNN: Evacuations ordered in Louisiana as Mississippi River spillway opens CNN's latest report.

Map of Louisiana: the purple pin is Hammond, where I live. I work in Baton Rouge, and you can see where Alexandria and New Orleans are relative to me. Unexpectedly, you can also see where Natchitoches (where I got my B.A.) is, and the town at the top left corner whose name got cut off is Shreveport where my baby sister lives.


With that clear map in mind, here's an image of where the Morganza Spillway will flood (courtesy of WAFB).


Courtesy of WAFB, this is what it looked like ten minutes after one gate of the Morganza Spillway opened. They ended up opening two, and two more will be opened today.


Courtesy of WAFB and NASA, this image of the Bonnet Carre spillway was taken April 29th with only a portion of its gates open. All of its gates should be open by the end of today.


I'm off to go work on my fiction, so I can drop my fret levels.

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The BookWorm

Sur-reality

I need to keep track of the spending I’m doing for working at home. The new computer I had to buy regardless, but not the headset. Nor the Ethernet to USB filter that I needed so the Internet won’t shut off if Windows isn’t on. Yeah, I don’t get it either. New phone and second phone line are still potential buys at this point, but I’m waiting for a position to open up first. That’s where I am now. I passed the interview and the computer runs their software, so now I wait until something becomes available.

A whole day to just get house stuff straight would be awesome, but it’s not going to happen. Maybe tonight I can catch up on chores and budget work.

Under surreal moments, I talked to Sallie Mae Friday. Very helpful customer service rep after I told her what I make a month answered, “You’re barely above the poverty line. You’d have to make $4000 a month to afford these loans.” According to their paperwork, a monthly amount representing 150% of the poverty guideline is $1353.75 for a family of 1. So by barely, we mean a hundred dollars after taxes.

It’s one thing to be living under the press of “how to pay, don’t have enough, I’m so bad with money.” So to have a total stranger look at my gross pay, subtract taxes, and say “no you don’t make enough money” takes some getting used to. I feel like the bully has stopped hitting me and ran away.

Don’t get the wrong idea; I don’t have my money under control yet. But at the same time, there is not enough money. I’m not crazy for resenting p.f. bloggers with two-income households. I’m not crazy when someone says ‘be frugal, cut spending” for crying “what’s left to cut?”

Surreal alert indeed: I’ve been five days wrapping my head around this concept (minus two days for the weekend where I buried myself in the house plans to ignore it).

Now I think I’m at a place mentally to make plans and follow those plans. Helpful advice from a Dave Ramsey critic: “keep putting money in the emergency fund because $1000 is not enough to keep most emergencies at bay. Make it automatic and don’t touch it.”

This is a sore spot for my budgeting; I always spend what I put in savings. So I need to make it automatic and not at the credit union, but easy enough to set up. ING Direct has good reviews and easy set up of automatic transfers.

Second point: I need to budget bi-weekly. Monthly setup defeats my motivation and I go into my avoidance routine. When I get paid if when I can pay the bills, ‘nuff said.

Third point: Prioritize the bills. I don’t plan my spending ahead of time and give money to whoever is yelling at me the loudest despite needing it somewhere else first.

Fourth point: Do my tax paperwork. I have everything, I just need to start it.

Fifth point: Find a third job. *Snort* I’m waiting for the second one but I need more income now. I have been considering finding articles to write for Helium and Associated Content. This needs to move out of the maybe column to “do it now!”

Sixth point: Stop skipping budget time. If it takes explaining to Mom that you have to leave for 6pm, so be it.

Seventh point: Eat out once a month only. Before yelling at me that I shouldn’t at all, I known once a month I am late leaving Baton Rouge and have to eat dinner before reaching home. This is different from running late and didn’t cook breakfast so drive through fast food for it.

More advice to keep in mind:
The Digerati Life: How to Make a Budget in 10 Easy Steps
The Digerati Life: The Dave Ramsey Budget: Budgeting Tips for Successful Savers.

I Meant to Do This Before Now

An updates blog post, that is. Had the idea on Friday and then Rizzo (my car) overheated to the setting alarms off on the dashboard degree. That killed Friday night.

Saturday morning, I had the intentions to do so much computer work including blog posts. But then the computer went wonky and by the time I had cleaned it, my desire to do more computer stuff had died.

Sunday and Monday: enjoyed the time off.

Tuesday: back to work.

So now it's Wednesday and since I'm taking a mini-vacation Thursday and Friday, it's update day!

Mom got some free hotel nights at a casino resort in Shreveport, so we're heading up there. There are some free exhibits in the area so I won't have to play the slots the whole time. WOOT! I'm hoping she wasn't exaggerating about a spa being available and hoping for a pool too because I suck at slot machines. Mom finds them relaxing and can spend hours playing off her winnings. Nothing against gambling, I'd be better at it if it was more like a video game. And that's saying a lot considering how bad my hand-eye coordination is.

I don't know how much writing I'm going to get done off grid. I have a week left to the "Phantom Highwayman" incorporate the brand-new zag (as in just thought of it and almost derailed this blog post) and submit.

Problems with Rizzo: her AC went out last Thursday. I didn't freak out about it, just planned on rolling down the windows until I got paid and then have some coolant put back in. Then Friday's afternoon commute, her temperature warning light went off in the middle of stop and go traffic. Luckily, I made it over to the next exit, parked at Chick-fil-A, and waited for my parents. Then they took it to the mechanics Tuesday since I had to go to work, but he can't look at it until today. So I still don't know what is wrong and how much to fix it.

Sept. 7th also marked the start of a 30 Day Primal Challenge and that couldn't come at a better time. My insurance decided I don't need Byetta anymore and there's a manufacture's shortage of my dosage of Glumetza. What I really need is to get off the drugs and control my blood sugar and lose weight. So time for a lifestyle overhaul. So if Blank starts looking like a food diary, this is why.

Second component of this will be thirty days of Primal Fitness. So far, I only missed this morning's workout but I'm planning to make it up when I get home as long as I get home three hours before bedtime. :p

Off to noodle now.

Read Free!
The BookWorm

Five Years Ago Today

I was at my baby sister's apartment in Natchitoches, having evacuated from a gal named Katerina. Mother Nature has decided we needed mood weather to remember and the thunderstorm hasn't stopped yet. The leak in my back bedroom is worse and now running down the wall. *head desk*

I guess I should start calling for estimates on a new roof that I know I can't afford because I have some outstanding debt to pay off first. I wanted to hold off until I could afford to extend the back half properly. I'll figure something out, eventually.

Now in honor of five years of rebuilding: Vince Vance's "I am New Orleans."


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The BookWorm

Update on Life

Yeah, I'm still alive. And I need to clean out the box I just dumped all loose items in the office into. It's just a knee-high box and now nearly full. But I had forgotten what a clean desktop looked like. On the other hand, I'm on top of the rest of the household chores. Score!

So I have a little free time now that the Faulkner draft has gone off to be reviewed. I'm filled with the "I should be doing stuff" vibe and nothing driving me to finish it. I'm blaming lack of sleep, and I hope I can stay awake for Castle.

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The BookWorm

Is Today Over With Yet?

Stop the world, I’m going to HURL!

That hasn’t worked yet. I don’t know why I think it will work now. Today started off so well. I got up on time, got my writing and planning done, got lunch packed, left for work on time, successfully filled up tank and avoided traffic mess that could have made me late.

Then I had to call GMAC Mortgage and find out what was up with the letter they sent.

They don’t tell me to turn off automatic payments so there’s the October 1st goof-up. They tell me to do a stop payment. My credit union doesn’t tell me to cancel the stop payment when I want to pay GMAC again, so the payment I made October 11th was also stopped. Why it took until today to find out was due to me ignoring the harassing phone calls that I’m getting because I’m in default despite being in a repayment plan to fix said default. So I missed the phone call asking what’s up with October 11th. I THINK everything is fixed now, but I still had to redo the stupid repayment thing for the third time and I’m waiting for notification from the credit union that the stopped payment is canceled.

So yes, I’m alive. The weekend was fun, up until I spent too much money on groceries. I think I’m going to survive November. If you want to see the NaNo decision, read Discipline Under Fire.

Oh, and I HAVE been keeping up with finances, but I keep leaving the finishing posts at home and then forgetting to post them when I’m there.

Read Free!
The BookWorm