Losing control

Chad says it's just stress. I know I have plenty of that. Speeding ticket that I don't know how I'm going to pay for, surveying that I don't know how much is going to cost or how I'm going to pay for it, shopping for homeowners insurance, bills piling up cause I'm trying to hang onto to the cash I have to pay the surveyors, always owing crits, I can't even critique well anymore, trying to keep the house clean, trying to be superwoman on joust field construction, getting sick in 100 degree heat...

I can't cope with it any more. I'm crazy. The only way I can respond to anyone is to have a screaming fit that doesn't make anybody feel better, least of all me. I hate myself like this and I don't know how to stop. This blog was supposed to help, and I don't see where it has.

I don't want to be that needy bitch that drove everyone away in college. Mom can say what she wants, truth be told, they probably were lousy friends. But my behavior was worse. And It's spiraling out of control again.

The only time I don't second guess myself is when I'm lashing out in blind rage over inane shit. And it feels like every little thing is just waiting to set me off. I want to just scream at my coworkers--and they haven't done anything today! My shoulders are all tied up in knots.

I'm sick of everybody telling me that I'm not crazy when something is so very obviously wrong with me. So the only choice I have is professional help. I hope I can find somebody who is open on the weekends.

I can't even give a harsh, indepth crit anymore. Hell, I'd settle for indepth. My brain won't process it. I just keep coming up with "I like it, I like it." Pretty soon I won't be able to write either.

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The BookWorm

Pissed again

But I'm trying hard not give into it. I spent almost all weekend in a hormonal, no-electrolytes rage--well at least all day Saturday. Nice thing about that version is you get mad cycle to crying and then get mad again which dissolves into crying. Yeah, the office cats think I'm nuts now.

What's so hard about answering a stupid email with an "oops I'm sorry." Am I out of line for thinking that my posts were safe? Am I out of line for thinking if you're going to go through a do a massive delete, you should at least ANNOUNCE that you're going to do that and give people an opportunity to save posts. I had to spend precious minutes Sunday reconstructing the posts, minutes I could have been using to edit something. And they're still minssing what everyone had said about them. Lots of people gave thoughtful insights into why Charley's character is important to them and should be in the new series. That's all gone now.

But no answer so I guess I'm just a fucked up idiot. Just like I'm a fucked up idiot about everything else. Excuse me for actually getting some good news and sharing it with the fandom. But it's not an anal poll so I guess it's not worth saving.

But silence. And the longer I have silence, the more likely I'm going to blow up at some poor innocent at Red Planet. Solemn vow to close to the thread before having a screaming fit on it.

Time to work now that I've wasted 30 minutes.

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The BookWorm

Lighten Up Louisiana

Starts tomorrow. I was peeved into joining, but it will be good for me. I have to lose 43 pounds to be back to my high school graduation weight, which is my ideal since I haven't grown any taller since. The hard part will be finding time to be active, exercise. Killing myself at the joust field every weekend isn't cutting it.

Chad and I, well I think we worked that out. He means well, but has a real lack of communication problem.

Lunch is ate, now I have to use the rest of this time calling on house stuff. *Sigh* It's going to be December before anything happens and I need the money now.

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The BookWorm

Triage Technique: Judging characters

I'm kind of doing this on the fly since I left Sol Stien's book at home. So I'll probably be adding to these entires once I get home and consult it.

I). Triage Technique: Judging characters
A). Protagonist
B). Antagonist
C). Minor characters
D). Credible conflict between protagonist and antagonist

Working on "Underneath the Colored Lights."

My protagonist is Cynthia Towers, a woman in her late 20s or early 30s. She has worked as a private investigator before, but in the present of the story has become disillusioned with the profession and is working as a Sonic carhop and taking a Dectective Literature class at Northwestern. (From my research after I wrote the story, this drifting in and out of the profession is pretty frequent.) She also worked as a cop in the K9 division, and they let her keep her dog partner after she left. It's a female German Shepard named Zenith. (Yes, I'm tweaking names, though that's a through back to where I worked Zy from. Ah memories.)

I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be asking myself specific things about the protagonist and antagonist, but I can't remember what they are. ARGH! Hate that.

I know I need another scene or maybe an extended scene where it becomes a lot less obvious on Stan's status. Is he a killer or no? Credible red herrings and all that. I'll work on that now.

Okay: now I have the book Stein on Writing.

I already added a verbal sparing match between Nolan and Stan. We'll have to see once other changes are made, how well that works.

I A). Specific questions on the protagonist

Do you find yourself thinking about the main characters in situations that are not in your book?

Hmm, do plots for other stories count? I've got this idea for Cynthia to work in a call center and get a strange phone call and start an investigation off of that, preventing a murder from that.

What is it about your character that you like especially? Does that happen to be also a trait of yours?

Her sarcasm and her empathy. I think I might need to play up her empathy more, though in this story she's trying to keep it shut away because it has brought her nothing but pain. She's faster with the sarcasm than I am. My wit usually catches up with me when I'm in the car fuming over how an encounter went. Her drive to be exactly like her fictional heroes.

:S Okay I might need to giver her something that is totally different from me.

If you were about to take your only vacation of the year, how would you feel if your character were going along? You would probably see your character at mealtime and in between, day in and day out for a week or two. Honestly now, would you look forward to that?

I think I would enjoy it. Cynthia can be a lot of fun to talk mysteries with. Too bad none of my stories seem to show her fun side.

How well do you understand your character? One way to find out is to imagine that you have just won a lottery jackpot of two million dollars. Your character doesn't know you've been playing the Lotto, but he is likely to hear about it on the news. People hae mixed feelings about the sudden success of friends. Would it better for you to tell your character the news yourself? How is your character likely to take the news about your new wealth? Would any of his reactions be useful in making him more interesting?

Whoa, it would probably best to tell her in person, but boy would it make her bitter. She's never had that kind of luck or success. She would hate herself for feeling bitter because of her empathy and generally liking people, but it would take a while to get over that anger over perceived unfairness.

Does the protagonist change in the course of your novel?

Well, it's not a novel. But she does realize she has a talent for detecting, and a need to help people. So she better get herself licensed so it's not illeagal.

I B). Specific questions for the antagonist

The antagonist is Nolan Wiggins, somewhere between 18 and 20 year-old college student. He tortured animals as a kid too, not that it comes up in the story.

Is your antagonist morally bad, not just badly behaved? Does your antagonist enjoy doing wrong to people? Is your character not just mischievous but malicious? What I'm getting at is the degree of villainy. Is your character just badly behaved or a truly evil person?

I think serial killers are truly Evil, in the sense of being an opposing force to good and decency. They don't even see their victims as human, the same that they are. Nolan takes it one step further, like Leon and Leopold, it's a game for him. Who he targets to kill, how he twists the police to hunting Cynthia, using her story.

Does your villain hae something that charms or entices people? If the villain isn't intriguing, interesting, lifelike, and believable, he may not be a worthy villain. No villain can attract victims unless he has charm charisma, position, or wealth.

Hmm, might need to play up his charm. I have one scene where he comforts Kate, maybe I should expand that. Also should add in some more Kate and Nolan interaction after he forces Stan out of the room. Right now it sounds like Nolan is a snot-nosed punk to me, when I want readers to see Stan violently angry and consider him a potential killer. But I can't seem to get any feedback on it and I don't have it with me to post the section at P2P.
This is probably not a good day for me to be working on this, but since I was abandoned, I don't have much of a choice.

If you're having difficulty making your villain charming or interesting, try seeing him through the eyes of someone who loves him.. Or at least cares a lot about him.

I think I can make him charming, it's just a matter of where to put it. It's a short sory after all. I know a lot of crap is going to have to go--especially description-wise. That will help with word count, but right now I'm concentating on characters.

I C). Specific questions about minor characters

Minor characters are often not minor if the credibility of a scene depends on believing their verisimilitude (lifelikeness). Just one special characteristic can make a different. And easy way to help characterize minor players is to use one of the senses you may have neglected.

That makes sense, frighteningly enough. Minor characters that I'm worried about: Kate, Stan, Floyd, Ballard. The professor needs a name since she has dialogue.

I D). Credible Conflict

Stories from time immemorial have consisted of people overcoming obstacles against high odds and strong adversaries.

Muliple murders, reluctant detective, chase through the Christmas Festival crowds. I'd love to film this story. :)

So I need to find out if my red herring conversation works, tweak the minor characters a tad (add more with taste, touch, smell, and sound. Sight is covered.)

This is a fun technique. I'm going to like writing the tutorials and using it on the Hyrueliana. If I had the book with me right this second, I'd get started on the second part.

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The BookWorm

Frustrating

I don't have a work crew, which is frustrating enough. But apparantly my PMS is so bad my boyfried would rather go play with Rick than spend anytime with me. Yes, I'm hurt and I'm not going to be able to see straight out of my contacts now that I've cried in them.

I don't have any other time, all we have is the weekends. And he doesn't want to spend time with me.

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The BookWorm

Friday off to a great start

I'm an eyewitness. Not so glamorous when it's just a car wreck. I'm on my morning commute, behind two 18-wheelers, when I see a minivan move toward the median and start flipping. It flipped at least three times, landing on its wheels again in the grass. A white car was facing the oncoming traffic and the two 18-wheelers kept on going.

The white car hadn't been hit and its passengers were okay. I called 911 and the other people who stopped went to help the people in the minivan. From what I gathered, the minivan tried to shove the white car out off the road twice, and he was swerving like crazy. Probably falling asleep at the wheel. They had pulled two people out of the minivan, and the ambulance left with one before I gave my statement and left.

I hope the ride home is less exciting.

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The BookWorm

Damn cramps

Hate the stupid bloody things and I hopethey're going to pass without me having to take pain killers. :p

Have to remember to buy cat food today. Completely out. *Sigh*

The Blue Man is moving pretty well. Murdock and Cyndia are finally talking. Now I just have to get them into the Archie and Nero relationship and then to something more.

Going to start on editing "Underneath the Colored Lights" with the triage technique. After the mail is done.

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The BookWorm

Today equals not a good week

Driving along, just past Holden when funny knocking noise starts on the back right tire. Sounds like I've picked up a stick. Stops before I pull over to the shoulder. Then starts again. Next exit, Livingston, I get out and look. I see sharp metal things coming out of the tire.

The auto parts guy was nice enough to explain the belts on my tire were coming apart and pointed me to a garage that put my spare on. Then I had to go buy tires. Then off to a different garage to get tires aligned and oil changed. However did get everything done for under $300, which my mother's friends assured me is really good. But it was after noon by the time I was finished, no going into work. :p

So I found the kitchen table. WOOT! Called the surveyors and they said it'll be 4 weeks before getting to me. Called my morgage people and told them to find a faster surveyor. Called for homeowner's insurance and finally managed to get one company to actually quote me. But by that time it was 4:30 and I figured the rest of the numbers I pegged will have closed their offices. So calling tomorrow.

I also got "Father's Love" into the mail, finally. Sans cover letter, and still feeling trepidation over that.

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The BookWorm

DAMN!

I have the labels ready to fire off. I remembered to email myself the story so I can print out a clean copy on a laser printer. I FORGOT the file with my cover letter to rewrie that and print it.

*Bangs head on desk*

I'm also having no luck with contacting the surveyors, trying to wait till I get home to call about homeowners insurance, and I don't want to work on anymore fraud assessments. Oh well almost done with that.

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The BookWorm

Do I Worry Too Much?

*Sigh* I can't stop double guessing my reactions and people's reactions to my reactions. This is not normal behavior.

Why do I keep doing it? Why can't I just go through life just reacting and getting over the rest of it?

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The BookWorm

Stress

Well, at least one source of stress is gone. I can finally start moving on buying the house again. Which has the slightly added stress of how much do they want for surveying and do I have that much. *Whimper* I can handle that though.

Work stress: paying job versus writing. Writing seems to be under control, for now. "Father's Love" is going out. "The Rose" will be on it's way soon. Paying job, I might get some flack from this sick day, who the hell knows.

Housework stress: I'm finally down to just the stuff on the kitchen table. And most of that is papers that I have to figure out where to put. I can probably figure that out in one night if I would just stick with it.

Other project stress: Alt. BM update is almost finished. Catching up on giving out crits, *whimper* Hopefully lunch Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday are free.

Family stress: Our access to Savannah has been pretty much cut off. Debates ongoing as to what the options are, and not talking about her healthcare either. I think it would be better for her mental health, but I haven't witnessed anything.

So that lists all points of stress except one. I don't know if I pissed someone off due to an overreaction on my part partly due to culmination of the above stress points, wore out on a Friday, and reading that I was being told not to bother with something that I think is worth a bother and when I thought I was doing something nice for it. *Sigh* I don't know.

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The BookWorm

Pounding head

Everytime I move my head hurts. Couldn't drive to work like that, so I'm home. Which means mail out will be one day late. *Sigh*

I'm going to work on some housework and stay away from the computer. I didn't move from it except to go to the bathroom working on the Alt. BM update from3 pm ish to 8:30ish. That ontop of the time I had spent that morning at the computer. Need a better chair. Also need to make sure I don't do marathon computer sessions while I'm alone in the house.

But I did get a nice long visit with Jazzie :D

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The BookWorm

Humbling

Okay, to keep word counts at my fingertips and to figure out what pips to get at Forward Motion, I just listed all my original works word counts in my tracking sheets.

26 finished with a word count all under 9260 words.
3 works that I can't count because I have lost both hard copies and computer copies.
6 works are in progress. Unfortunately, anything I could have over 60,000 words is in this category. :p

Those 26 works add up to 94,069 words. Now that would be a damn impressive novel.

And no, none of these number reflect the fanfiction works I've written, which has the two longest projects I have managed to complete to date.

I guess it isn't a bad output for 16 years of work. And true, the vast majority of it is practice junk. And while doing all these tweaks I refound the Ageism column, which counts as a sale (it wasn't self published).

Looks like the first juvenile magazine I'm sending "Father's Love" to is Cricket. 12 week wait though. Ouch. I'd rather try Just Weird Enough but it's website refuses to come up. I sent email, but I haven't gotten a response. I'll be sure to listen pertinant info for the rest of you guys.

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The BookWorm

Pain means the muscles are still there

I spent yesterday from 9am to 3pm (minus an hour or so for lunch) repairing the joust field fence. Hopefully next weekend I'll have more help.

But I got to sleep late today. Yes, 7:30 am is sleeping late for me. I have a list a mile long of stuff to work on but I can do just about all of it without getting dressed. Wa-hoo! Yes, I'm in lazy bum mode and proud of it.

Let's see where to start is always the fun question.

LOL Lith went Ash! ROTFL. At least she didn't have to cut off her hand to get the chainsaw.

Well let's analyize the list.

1) Mail Father's Love
2) TMNT at FF.net
3) Alt BM Update
4) The Rose
5) Housework
6) Pay bills
7) Mail the Rose
8) Return books to the Library
9) Find stuff for quoates
10) Putting up more exercises
11) Tutorial updates
12) Put word counts into original_progress sheets
13) Figure out the pip system for Forward Motion

Well, good thing I have all day.

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The BookWorm

The Rose

Okay I got changes recommended by Forward Motion on "the Rose" finished. Nothing too horribly major. I'll post the new version to PtP on Sunday.

I have "Dreams of the Dead" and "Underneath the Colored Lights" with me to work on. I think I'm going to work on "Lights," I already started some stuff on it.

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The BookWorm

Reaching conclusions

Not by any jumping I hope.

1. I need to keep better track of people. I finally reached Billy's work voicemail and was able to leave a message. My email bounced back and the home phone number I had is no longer working. I don't know if my info is that outdated, or if it's damage from Hurrican Charley. I just want to know that they made it through okay.

2. I don't know what Red wants from the brainstorming group. I haven't hit any snags lately. Well, I could potentially hit snags with the editing, which is why I think I've been avoiding it. Looks like I got a free hour before the mail gets here; I'm going to tackle one of the stories.

3. I might as well set fire to my kitchen table to clean it all off. Unfortunately that would cause extensive damage to the house and would destroy bills I haven't paid yet and need to. But it would all be clllleeeeaaaan.

4. I need a day off once a week just to deal with the writing portion of my life. I've declared Sunday to be that day this week. I don't even plan on getting dressed.

5. Some projects I come up with are just plain stupid. Like typing the writing exercises. HELLO! You've got PaperPort's OCR, which is way more accurate than the one that came with Epson scanner. Stop the extra typing already.

6. I need to change the due date on the tutorials newsletter. Having everything due the same week of the month ain't working. I'm thinking last day of the month, or maybe the 28th since every month has a 28th.

7. I want a vacation.

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The BookWorm

Don't feel like being here

Shit! I hate when this stupid thing decides to erase the post I spent a good five minutes typing.

Ugh, I don't feel good and want to go home. I don't know what happened cause I got plenty of sleep. I hope I didn't catch a summer cold that's been going around.

And I want this portable dishwasher. And I'm going to get it after the house stuff settled.

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The BookWorm

Bribery

Apparantly being the first to read my fiction is no longer the motivation it once was. That's annoying. I'll have to put an ad up somewhere else, I guess.

Found steno pad. Ready for meeting. The all-day meeting. *Twitch*

Would rather work on "Blue Man." Need to clean off my desk at home. Everything is upside-down, and I haven't even started on the Alt. BM update. It's probably going to be late just given how my life is right now. Course, I could help Chad stuff envelopes and work on it Friday night. Maybe.

If I didn't have to go to paying job, I'd have everything done.

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The BookWorm

Lifelong Goal

Back in I'm So Sick Of Cleaning, I talked a little about Martin B. Coates, who is the immigrant that started my father's side of the family. Come to find out with the last family reunion, he also started my mom's side of the family.

So I'm going to Yorkshire, England to find out where we come from. I'll keep you updated when I actually get an itinerary.

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The BookWorm

Feel better

It's like squeezing pus out, you think it's empty and there's still more in there. I feel slightly better after at least venting on record. And I've outlined my demands. Always good to have demands. I have a chance of getting demands met, no chance for getting paid to put up with these headaches.

I was going to work on "The Blue Man on the Porch," but have discovered that I left that folder at home. Since I don't trust my little car notebook to hold it indefinately, you get a sneak peek.

--------------------------------------

"Are you injured?" The younger officer with sympathetic blue eyes asked.

"No, I'm fine."

"Officer H is going to check the rest of the house. Show me where you saw the intruder."

Cyndia lead him into the living room while his partner headed down the hall. "I was reading on the couch. I got up and saw him at the front door. Grabbed empty shotgun and he was gone. Backed away and called 911, Officer?"

"Peterson. Did you notice if he was bleeding?"

"No, but I only saw waist up. He was blue and had a butcher knife. You found blood out there?"

Officer Peterson frowned. "What do you mean he was blue?"

"His face was blue."

"A mask?"

"No, his skin was blue." Cyndia pressed against the door window trying to see the blood they had seen.

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The BookWorm

Weekend update

Family reunion was nice. Too much running around for me, then followed by lack of sleep.

The followed by another day of planting and floor boards and cleaning. At least I didn't have to nail, though maybe pounding out my frustrations would have been healthier. But the furniture covered in the most goose shit is now clean.

Frustrations, *sigh*, I actually cried. As we were driving back from lunch, Chad let slip that he had been talking to the owners about the dias plans on the joust field. I've been trying to get a damn artist to draw up 2 plans to present them for getting close to a year now with no luck. I've tried talking about my plans--which I am well aware have less than a snowball's chance in Hell--and just get a non-committal, or the "no money" excuse. I know my plans will never get approved because all they want is a stupid cookie-cutter RenFaire, but at least give me a chance to present them decently. But again what I want, what I see, what I've been working on for the past FOUR YEARS doesn't fucking matter. Goddess I was furious.

Chad to his credit was just trying to light a fire under their butts, because A) I've been bitching about it for so long and B) the live-action joust is the show that they continously push on all the advertising and the field looks like shit and C) the Royal Court has ask nicely for a decent place to sit out there. He just wanted to do something nice and surprise me, which just pissed me off even further. My own fucking boyfriend out to realize who's damn input is necessary. I don't expect Alvin and Rick to listen--I'm not that dense after 4 years and as Amy puts it, we lack the necessary equipment to get listened to by Alvin at least.

I had to stalk off, and go to front gate and find my gardening tools. Everything that has happened decently out at that joust field has happened because I got people together and MADE it happen. I did fuck up the fence last year, but their repair job made it look even worse. We built the new stables last year; had that been left to Alvin and Mike and Rick, the knights would have had no where to house the horses and no time to build anything before the show started. They made the dias for second year and the piss-ant duke that starts off A Knight's Tale has a better fucking dias. They put up a hide away fence (to hide the behind the scenes areas of the site) for third year, and forgot to put a gate in it. After they drive the backhoe through the fence during the off-season, they put a gate in LIKE I HAD TOLD THEM TO FROM THE START. I asked for sunshade for the patrons and they did put that up. And it fell down second week. The benches that my construction crew got started on and were told to stop because they were wasting wood, are they only ones that haven't fell apart yet. Oh and lets not forget leaving all the trash at the field for all the patrons to see (the crew building the Inn includes Chad finally helped me burn that off), leaving all the boards for the benches out all six weeks of the show and we're finally salvaging what is good in the stacks now but they're mostly ruined.

I got back from Front Gate and Chad was trying to apologize and I cried. I know my fucking pirate ship arena won't go, but I hate feeling like I'm being sidestepped especially by someone who's supposed to have my emotional well being in mind. The owners are never on hand for that field. They might see 5 minutes of a show before fleeing. I know what works, and I'm constantly shunted aside. And I can't get a crew together to work on any more of it and I can't blame them. Construction work for no pay and no appreciation is no fun.

I had already said I was quitting after this year, and it is cemented in now. And nobody is going to take that joust field neighborhood. And I will not take it back until my demands are met. A new fucking dias and fence, backstage area for my people, start on a permanent outdoor speaker system, the stables completed, the concession stand (old stables) improved, drainage issues dealt with, landscaping started, and the hideaway fence repaired and improved. Fucking stuff they should be doing now.

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The BookWorm

I hate my exercise bike

It's been so long since I used it continuously, I forgot how the stupid thing causes blisters on my but and I need to put a pillow underneath it. So now I'm trying to find a comfortable way to sit while at work, which really adds to my not wanting to be here. Let me get this stuff done so I can get the police investigation underway.

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The BookWorm

Busy, busy, busy

I've finished the script and edited it down to 25 pages. I still need to have it beta read by one other person. Morning wants it to be the pilot for the new show. :)

I finished "The Rose" edit and posted it to the Forward Motion forum. Now I just have to find time to crit other people's stories. I think I need to tweak more learning how to manage posts. A tip I saw somewhere is to put links to your story in your signature. Well, just putting in the URL makes it a link, but I'd rather use the title. Does that even work? Can I put it in my signature even thought HTML tags aren't allowed?

Picked out four stories to crit initially, but my mind is buzzing with my Zy's short story idea. I'm probably going to work on that today. *Sigh* It does connect with the novel, but none of the other editing work is really grabbing me. I'll try to read during lunch.

'Sides, I like the opening scene. "The blue man with the butcher knife locked eyes with her."

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The BookWorm

Hydrated now

Have too much and your body will let you know that as well. My mug at work I was counting as 8 ounces. I measured it this morning, and it's 12. So I was taking in 80+ ounces of water when you're supposed to have 64 ounces. So time to slow down.

Hopefully, I actually get to work on "The Rose" today. I think we're all caught up on lawsuits. :p

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The BookWorm

Popularity of blogging

The reporter at the Derrick Todd Lee trial is blogging. http://www.2theadvocate.com/sk/dtltrial_blog.shtml I find it fascinating. We've been present, we've been participating in a journalistic revolution. Course you can only trust it as far as you trust the author, which is why the Democratic National Convention screeened the ones they let participate as reporters. Still, wow, "my blog qualifies as a news source" has to feel pretty heady.

Random tidbit for today. Now I have to consider "The Rose." How long would a nose keep bleeding after strangulation/hanging has started?

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The BookWorm

Dehydration

I probably do have a high salt tolerance, but considering I barely use it. That's not the issue.

Sodium, chorloride, and potassium are your electrolytes. Adding salt is to the sports drinks is the easiest way to replenish them since salt is the first two ingrediants. And the first thing you lose: tears are salty, sweat is salty.

I found a article on nursing and taking care of severe dehydration. One of the signs of dehydration is dark smudges under the eyes. And here I thought that was lack of sleep. I already know I don't get enough sleep. But after my slight rehydration regime yesterday afternoon, my smudges aren't as dark today. So I think my intial prognosis was correct: electrolytes and fluid levels were just at functional. Any extra stress--like working outside--would put me down. Just drinking water would just further dilute the electrolytes I had left and not make me feel better. But I would be peeing.

So today I think I'm ready to switch to ordinary water. Already had two glasses, bout to go for a third.

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The BookWorm

Elecrolyte problem?

I found a receipe for sports drink. Add a half-teaspoon of salt to a quart of lemonade. Okay I mixed up two quarts added in a full teaspoon, and drank never finding it salty. Others at our gardening day sampled it, and said it was horrendously salty.

I figured I have found the problem. Maybe I've been functioning on barely there electrolytes and essential salts. I get the levels up to where I can function, but they's still low which is why I fall out so easily now.

Problem is I've come home and been under the AC. I drank the first 2 quarts out at Faire site while we were moving plants around. I mixed up another 2 quarts while at home and have drank about a fourth of it. It's still not salty. I'm peeing, the liquid is going through me, but I got tired of drinking.

Guess it's time to diving into health research.

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The BookWorm

Deletions

Okay, what is with computers and me? I had a whole post typed, highlighted so I could cut and paste it (to make sure nothing went wrong), and it deleted.

*Blink, blink*

I don't understand.

*Sigh*

I finally got a hold of my mortgage people. Getting it moving, getting it moving.

I hope I didn't say anything stupid to Red. I don't remember saying anything stupid.

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The BookWorm

At least they're fast

"Father's Love" rejected by Andromeda Spaceways. And because I wasn't watching what I was doing at the time, and because I can't find the email now, I must have deleted it. I could've swore I was moving it.

They did at least offer comments. "Well written, but brings nothing new to the very old theme of human and alien misunderstandings." That's the gist I can remember.

I'm more upset over stupid idiot me deleting the damn email. Everyone's going to say it cause I hate getting rejected.

Time to move to the juvenile market. I want to send it to at least 5 places before filing it away. I'll find one once I stop beating myself over the stupid deletion.

Goddamned FATE, we need some fucking good news over here!

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The BookWorm

Quotes

"Even if the hot dog is done, there's still a fork stuck in it." -- Al Turner

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The BookWorm

Wacky Hijinks on Tuesday

I finished the script last night. 25 rough draft pages, but I hardly followed script conventions while roughing it out. I downloaded 2 freeware templates for Microsoft Word last night, but haven't had a chance to type in them and see what happens.

I probably used too many images and lines from "Rock & Ride" to qualify as completely original. But it's just a fanfic project, and a test to see if I could do it. Plus if it ain't broke, don't fix it, as Modo's mama would say.

Ever notice how Tuesday is the weirdest day of the week? For example, the prison guard over the inmates that do the cleaning--Drake--is our office's adopted stray. Problem is he's feeling put out because we're keeping one of the summer high school student workers into the school year. He was put out before that because we got two and one had to sit in the empty cubicle he was using.

So the student worker who isn't stay, Friday is his last day. We--the office--was having a meeting to figure what to do for his last day. Drake started sneering he didn't need no party, we were spoiling him rotten, putting him out for a lousy student worker.

Me: "What out? You said that when they got here and you ain't left yet."
He started spluttering about that while the rest of the table laughed. I kept going.
Me: "Wait a minute. Aren't you the one who went on and on how you wasn't going to be up here with us when we got to the new building 'cause they built you your own office? We still haven't gotten rid of you!"

Then it was really on. The rest of the office laughing, and polled, yeap Drake had said that. He spluttered more, and how he was going to watch me like a hawk for the rest of the week, just waiting for me to mess up and then he was getting my seat.

Me: "You only got today. I'm out for the next two days. And you ain't here on Fridays!"

Nobody could stop laughing at that point.

Scarlett: "When she let's the cat out. Watch out!"

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The BookWorm

Monday

Funeral is on Wednesday. And I took off Thursday too, because I'll probably be the one taking Krista back to Natchitoches.

Didn't get to finish the kitchen, so I'll probably be working on that when I get home tonight. Nice to have the stuff left to sort left to one room. I still have about 3 boxes in the office, but most of it is stuff to go through and scan.

I'm in Act 3 of the script now. I don't know if I planned my commercials right, they don't seem to be very life-threatening situations. Okay Act 2 not too bad, Charley's capture, Act 3 starts with the fight to get the Thunderpipe back. Typing all this is what's going to suck. I don't think I have my pages set up right and it feels like it's going over.

Looks like one of these nights I'll be downloading some free screenwriting add-ins or something. Nothing fancy, just give me a template.

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The BookWorm

No more bad news

It's disasterous on my writing. I start cleaning to feel better. Or at least to take charge.

My step-grandmother died at 6am this morning, complications of the surgery she was undergoing. We think any way. There's going to be an inquest, and probably an autopsy. Funeral should be on Wednesday.

Savannah will be discharged on Monday, but the cancer that is still in her brain is a level 3. Next step is chemo and radiation together, we're just waiting to see if that's the only step or if there is something experimental out there.

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The BookWorm

Biker Mice Revisited Script

Why "revisited"? "Reloaded has been used, and "revisied" sounds bland. Actually, I'm not even using "revisited" in the title, just in my descriptions. "Revisied" is more accurate, since this is the way I would start BMFM over. Or at least one of the ways, probably the most kid-friendly way.

It's moving along, faster than some of the edits. The whole episode is in my head. The hard part is writing out in script format. It's been a long time since I wrote in present tense. And getting the script layout set up on Microsoft Word, ouch! I see why professionals get dedicated software. Though I did a quick browse, and apparantly other people have worked out Macros and templates. I have to see how that will work out.

I'm going for twenty-five minutes, even though I'm still writing in the Teaser, and I don't really know how long that's supposed to be. I need to get a tape out and time it. Maybe tonight.

Remember I need to check and make sure "poleaxes" is spelt correctly on the submission copy. Working on the cover email/letter today when I get a chance.

I have to go pick up Chad tonight, since we're reduced to one night a week now until after Faire. I told him that was unfair to do that to me and he needs to get his stupid car fixed. I'm not sleeping where I have to hike a mile to a toilet and I don't have the money to go see him every night. He needs to share some of the road running.

I might make him time the Biker Mice tonight as punishment, Mr. Don't-care-that-much-for-animation. :p

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The BookWorm

Never Enough Time

So much to get done, and never enough time to do it.  :p  Story of my life.

1).  Get "Fine Brandy" remarks back to Red
2).  Email "Father's Love" to Andromeda
3).  Pick out 4 more markets as back-ups
4).  Edit the rest of the "Bloodlines" chapters to post at FF.net
5).  Write BMFM Script
6).  Write Zy's novel
7).  Edit "Dreams of the Dead"
8).  Edit "The Rose"
9).  Edit "Elizabeth's Oak"
10).  Edit "Summertime Adventure"
11).  Write EL = Triage tech.

And that's the short list.  Better get started while work is slow.

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The BookWorm

Productive

Working on "Fine Brandy" and will hopefully get "Staff of Oak" printed out this afternoon to work on.  Here's to hoping that a systematic approach will get me somewhere.

Later:  Okay, finished going over "Fine Brandy," but I can't type any notes till I get home.  Should be able to print out "Staff" once my writing hour starts.  Consolidated all my notes for the BMFM script project.  Anything so not to look at "Dreams of the Dead" yet.

Going to work on "Father's Love" and get that tweaked before looking at "Dreams" regardless.  I want something in the mail by Saturday and it looks like the closest bet.

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The BookWorm

Grumpy

*Feel free to ignore the following whine*

What the hell do I know about writing horror? I don't even find it all that scary. How in the hell did I even let myself think it was good enough? All those editors just mailing it back; probably never even bothered to make it through the first page.

I don't want to wreck the story it is by rewriting it totally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---Whine over. Regularly scheduled blog resumes---

I'm an idiot and I know I'm an idiot. And trying to tell off your furious self for getting so bent out of shape is harder to do when the idiot drivers are out in full force. Do they even talk about not blocking an intersection in driver's ed anymore?

Red does me an enormous favor and all I can act like is an ungrateful bitch. Certainly not condoning my behavior, and she's right on the money as far as the story stands. But I just knew all I needed to do to make it better was add the scene I already did. All that red is a brutal wake-up call.

I'm not exactly freefalling, but I don't know what direction to go. It's like the B between A and C is completely shredded and must be replaced, but the replacement is going to change the direction of everything.

The thought of just filing the damn story lasted just to the walk to my car in the parking lot. I'm too stubborn. Though I am serious about if it doesn't make it in any of the horror mags this mail out time, I'm moving on to something new. There reaches a point of diminishing returns. I can't keep recycling this stuff without anything new.

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The BookWorm

Today's ditty

Quote of the Day: I'm just waiting for the election in which I'm going to write in "Cthulhu, why settle for the lesser evil."--Me

I already have a list of things to do that's 6 items long--not counting the official "to do" list.

Found two good Lovecraftian websites today, not really meaning to.  The H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which is actually an in-depth LARP based on Lovecraft. They look nifty in the 1920s garb. And The H.P. Lovecraft Archives, which is a more in-depth look at his texts and which publications are better than others.

It got me looking because Red didn't recognize my "Randolph Carter" reference.  Not that I really expect anyone but other Lovecraft geeks to, but I liked his stories.

Carter, Randolph. Randolph Carter was born in 1873 as heir to an old and rich to an old and rich New England family, and spent many times in his family house in Kingsport, and explored the "Snake Den" cavern in the area, reputed to be a former haunt of wizard Edmund Carter. Until age thirty, he would often spend time sleeping and dreaming fantastical, improbable dreams that many did not believe. At age thirty, however, he stopped for an unknown reason and drifted slowly into old age. When he was fifty-five, he disappeared mysteriously while walking near his old and deserted family house. Although their was a brief report of him visiting some friends in 1930, nothing has been heard of him since.     

As the narrator of The Unnamable. Carter was a writer, his known works included The Attic Window, which was published in the January, 1922 issue of Whispers. The story revolved around a creature so horrific it defied description, therefore earning the title The Unnamable. During the early 1920s, Carter and a friend, Joel Manton, discussed the possibilities of the existence of such a creature in an ancient burial ground in Arkham just outside the house used as the setting for Carter's short story. As night fell, the two were attacked by the creature and both barely escaped with their lives.
(The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, The Silver Key, and Through The Gates of the Silver Key, H.P. Lovecraft)Submitted by Sean Rodgers. 

The Cthulu Lexicon

I bought a couple of new cartoons videos this weekend.  Well, I had seen some of the shows before.  "The Legend of Zelda" was a trip down nostalgia lane, but surprisingly the show holds up pretty good.  Bob Forward wrote two of the episodes that are on that tape.  "Sherlock Holmes in the 22cd Century" really deserved a longer run.  And I want to find the episode where they bring him back to life.

I better get some editing work done. 

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The BookWorm

Too Many Layers

In my Mozilla bookmarks. I think I went a little overboard on organization.

Savannah made it through surgery fine, and that's what she had a 95% chance at. She still has cancer. It's still going to kill her, unless there is a miracle drug as well as chemo and radiation. She talked coming right out of recovery, scared Mom to death, and moved, which none of the nurses expected so soon.

I got Krista home yesterday with only one minor ugh. That I'm not going to explain further here.

I don't know if we're going down to New Orleans today before the concert tonight. The social starts at 2. I think I need to print that timetable out.

Glad you guys gave me something to work with. I tried to start talking to Chad about it, and he just kept giggling over what he calls my "dark and stormy night" line. That led to a spat, because I don't giggle over his RenFaire plans. And Krista wouldn't let us discuss it in front of her, and he wanted to save it till the party. I did have the pleasure of seeing him recoil from the look I gave him then. Usually he just calls them cute. MEN!!

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The BookWorm

Opening Lines

Just before all this mess with Savannah started, I came up with revisions to make on all my submitable short stories, all five.  Then I started fretting about my opening lines.  I'm fretting about everything right now, but at least I can do something about my opening lines.

"Dreams of the Dead"
1st take: Cynthia glanced around the unfamiliar landscape.
2cd take:  "Just add a couple of melting clocks, and this place could be a work of art."

"Underneath the Colored Lights"
1st take:  The cold wind cut across the water, over the grassy bank, and through the appreciative mob of people.
2cd take:  She hadn't said yes to getting killed tonight.

"Father's Love"
1st take:  "Mert wishes not for war to come between our hives."
2cd take:  ?--I don't think this really needs changing.

"The Rose"
1st take:  I saw Rodas again last night.
2cd take:  ?--maybe expand the sentence so you'd know as a ghost.  Or maybe short is enough of a hook.

"Elizabeth's Oak"
1st take:  Rhiannon tried to remember when she had first seen the expression in Phobos Byrd's eyes.
2cd take:  ?--Haven't come up with it yet, but the whole beginning needs to be restructured and that has to go!

The first line should always be attention grabbing, even in a novel where the person will give you more time to get hooked.  You don't have that luxury in a short story.

Update on Savannah: surgery is tomorrow morning.  I have to go get my baby sister from Natchitoches, and Mom doesn't know if she's going to get a hotel room or not.  And my cell phone battery died again, so I hope since I was talking to her, she will call me at my desk if anything changes.  *Sigh*  I need another desktop charger for my work desk.

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The BookWorm

Back at work

I don't want to be here.  My supervisor is the only one who has asked anything about Savannah.

Surgery is on Friday.  They've changed from doing a biopsy to carving out as much of the mass as they can.  I think I'm going to have to go get Krista on Friday, since that's the soonest she can home.  Kai was supposed to go, but her and Savannah are closer and she wants to stay for the surgery before moving. 

Everything hits all at once.  Kai finally cements plans to move back to Texas, I just need to get paperwork from Mom for the next step on getting my house, and boom, the bottom falls out.

Now the doctors are saying she has a chance for recovery.  You want to grab hold of that, but it's been such a damn roller coaster you don't know if it's going to be flung off with you.

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The BookWorm

Promised update

My second cousin, the only great-granddaughter on my Mom's side of the family (as of now) has terminal brain cancer. She's only 16 years old.

The horrible thing about brain cancer unless it attaches to the spinal cord is it has no symptoms. Pressure from the tumor gave her headaches. The first doctor thought it was depression. When the double vision started, they did a CAT scan. That was last Wednesday. Friday, they called back for an immediate MRI. And then rushed her down to Children's Hopsital in New Orleans.

They have been able to reduce the swelling and are now talking about just doing a biopsy, hoping to treat it with chemo or radiation. I haven't seen the MRI films, but Mom said at one point fingers are going throughout her brain.

She is the sanest one in a dysfunctional family, meaning her immediate one. Mine's not too bad when push comes to shove. And you can't help who you're realted to. But she is the sanest, most mature of the bunch, and she's dying. To look at her you wouldn't think anything is wrong, except when the morphine kicks in.

She's only 16 years old.

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The BookWorm

Writing hour cancelled

My cousin's daughter had a CAT scan and blood work Wednesday, trying to find out why she keeps having really bad headaches and double vision.  Mom calls me at work (rare occurance) the doctors had ordered an immediate MRI.  She was very upset and heading to their house to wait for news.  So I need to get home and see if it's an all-nighter at the hospital or what.
 
Also they've gone and added more features to Blogging.   Now we can do pictures?
 
Okay, I'll have to do that at home not at work.  Must be on a FTP server.
 
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The BookWorm

Can I finish it all tonight?

Maybe if I don't go to my mother's. :p The problem is it is never a quick update; I was over there for an hour and a half last night.

I have mopped the dirtiest half of the kitchen, and got the stuff down to a pile for the back bedroom (I couldn't get into it this morning because I piled the laundry in front of its door), a pile for Mom, a pile for Chad, a pile of stuff to get rid of, and dirty dishes. I can never get rid of the dirty dishes.

I need to do laundry, organize the office--which means I've got to put the piles of stuff on the desk back where it goes--doing something with the stuff in the living room, and straightening the bathroom and back bedroom. Though the back bedroom isn't a priority at this point.

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The BookWorm

So much to do

I have about a quarter left in Bold in Her Breeches. Interesting, especially useful in how women in all probablity acted in and around sailing and specifically pirate life. Got a few useful tidbits.

I need to finish the kitchen and living room, or at least make such noticable difference, it won't matter if I take the weekend off. Mom has a building supply store she wants to check out, Chad wants to get a spot ready for foundation pouring for the Inn's demo kitchen, I want to swim and not clean my house. :p

I'm working on a Writing Characters From the Inside Out exercise with Rhiannon, my heroine from "Elizabeth's Oak." Though it's hard since so many people in the office have decided staying till 5pm or later is a good thing too. Probably going to use the headphones technique today. I'm combining Stein's Triage technique with Orr's character exercises. The real test will be on "the Hyrueliana", but I got home way later than anticipated due to grocery shopping and forgot that I needed to save a copy to bring to work. And now I'm under a reading and scanning deadline, so I really don't have time to work on it specifically at work.

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The BookWorm

First chance I've had to blog all day

Assessment time is such a lovely time of the year. Forms coming in that must be audited, lawsuits piling up; I've done 50 of those today. Ugh. And we haven't even hit the busy part of the month yet.

I downloaded Mozilla last night. I need a secondary browzer to check webpages with, as well as just being fed up with the garbage I.E. allows through. Now if we can only convince the firewall programmers and the computer hardware makers that when you do a port trace on a virus or other nasty, it sends an electric pulse back to the computer who sent it. Eventually the stupid cyber terrorists won't be able to afford new computer equipment. Course this doesn't wipe out the idiot factor, just that the idiots who don't have their computers protected would have to buy new equipment too.

Have to finish two library books before Friday. Lost track of reading them while I worked on new bought books, opps. Bold in Her Breeches has just been feminist academic rhetoric so far. I need more facts for me pirate crew.

Got the kitchen half-cleaned last night, meaning the spring cleaning that has been dragging on for months. Course the half that's left to do is the mess brought in from other rooms. All the spices ended up in a plastic basket that buying a new toolbox freed. I'm beginning to think I'm going to have to build a wooden spice rack; I can't find one anywhere. Have another look at Wal-Mart tonight when I go shopping, and there is possible some kitchen-wares stores to hit in Gonzales. But if that's a no go, I'm pulling out my hammer and nails.

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The BookWorm

Monday again

Week in, week out.

Today's not a bad Monday though; the office decided to have a party. I elected to do the sandwich trey. Well, Saturday was Spider-man 2 and board game night, no stopping at a grocery store and I forgot all about it. Sunday, Chad and I cleaned his apartment over the Inn (what he calls the big unfinished dorm room). So I'm getting dressed this morning, wondering what I'm going to do for lunch when it hits me "we're having a food party no lunch necessary." Followed immediately by "OH SHIT!"

Delis always need at least 24-hour notice. So I rushed into Wal-Mart at 7am on my way to work, and bought the necessary items for sandwiches. But then three other people forgot too and had to make last minutes save, and I don't feel as bad.

Writing news: Don't use the Microsoft Word insert a horizontal line feature if you plan to move the file into Word Perfect or another program. It refuses to delete. I'm having to retype whole sections trying to erase the line. I'm going to have to check the Word Perfect line will erase.

I'm going to be practicing with Stein's triage editing technique for the Editing Lessons. I'm thinking of setting up a series of those where one story is taken through the editing steps.

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The BookWorm

Where does the time go?

I actually spent it on typing. :) Now it's time to go home.

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The BookWorm

Today = tired

I'm so tired today. I feel like I haven't gotten any sleep at all. I know I did, but after my weekend of screwy sleeping, I haven't been abole to get back into exercising at 5am. Going to crawl into bed as soon as I get home tonight. Well, after I crawl out of the tub first.

I hate driving when I'm this tired. All the other drivers go into "stop and go" mode. I came closer than I like to plowing into the back of a white truck. Had to slam on the brakes and the truck behind me had to swerve to the shoulder. I don't know if my back tires squealed or his tires squealed, but rubber was left on the pavement. You slap youself, chug more Diet Dr. Pepper, and still the eyes drift closed. Dangerous.

Yeah, going to bed early tonight.

Tried calling mortgage people again. Still no talking to the guy working on it. *Sigh* And Mom is right, I need to get it done ASAP in case something does happen to my grandmother. This is her last week of radiation and she's done pretty well, but still the woman's 81-years-old. Maybe 82 at this point. I have such a lousy memory for birthdates.

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The BookWorm

That was nice while it lasted

I didn't get as much cleaning done as I had hoped. Hard to concentrate when your brain keeps going "nap time, nap time." Why my brain kept going "nap time"? Because Saturday night I went to bed at 3am (which technically makes that Sunday morning) and woke up around 8am with the stupid sun. That after I finished adjusting the entertainment center shelves, nearly killing myself with one (adjustable my ass), drilling holes for others, mking pre-existing holes larger because they had 5mm holes and I had 1/4 inche shelf pins.

Fourth of July party on Sunday, in which I won "Star Wars" Trival Pursuit. Technically, it was the girls' team but since my team mate only knew the answer to one question. I got bored during "Lord of the Rings" Risk (same problem I have with chess, too many damn rules), and started reading Harry Potter #5. I took it home and finished it at 6am. Cat woke me up at 11am, and I spent the rest of Monday in a daze.

Determined to tire myself out, I went swimming. I'm pathetically out of shape. After 5 minutes of energetic swimming, I had to get out of the lake and spent 20 minutes to stop heaving. I slept good though. And I've decided to work on my swimming endurance at least once a week.

Now it's the day after a holiday at work. Which means we get Monday's mail times two.

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The BookWorm

HUZZAH! of the incredibly bummed-out Saturday

Good news: I finally finished all the checking and fixing of the entire Library. Uploading as I type this.

Bummer news: Vandals struck the Faire site again! So my boyfriend, Mr. Responsible, is back out there because he doesn't want them hitting the Inn or the vardo again, and they seem to strike when he's not there. (Yeah, we have a big, neon-bright idea of who's behind it, but no hard evidence.)

I only get the weekends to be with him. And I refuse to sleep over there because of the lack of toilet. So yes, I'm feeling extremely put-out by the whole situation! But we can't prove a goddamned THING!

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The BookWorm

Quick update

Anna had her baby at 12:18 yesterday, 6 pounds 2 ounces baby girl.

Richie and Leigh's wedding is tonight, and I get to leave early to make that.

Why the hell are we dividing moneys up for the fiscal year according to the check date? Shouldn't what year it falls in depend on the day of deposit? I need to talk to an accountant that does work here. :p

Typing Chapter 4 stuff from "No More Rejections;" probably won't finish it before I have to put on make-up and leave. But I look really cute.

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The BookWorm

FINALLY

I finally finished the damn code and spelling checks on all my webpages. I'm sorry for those misspellings. Really, I am.

Now I just have 25 pages with code errors to fix, and 116 pages to reload.

Glad to know I'm not too busy this weekend.

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The BookWorm

How complicated can it get?

New fiscal year, new fiscal codes. new fiscal classifying steps. And nobody is communicating all these new things very well. No, we're not all on the same page people. :P

My co-worker wnet into labor this morning at 1am. It's horrible, but we're all glad she's out of the office for 6 weeks. Let's just say her behavior was sufficient to scare me into staying home and out of the public for the whole nine months. But it's a good thing we had the baby shower on Monday.

I think I finially figured out why dress shoes hurt me so much. I get them wet in this lousy weather and they shrink. They fit fine on Monday, but it rained and I had to hike through mud at Faire site (stupid, I should know better). My feet aren't swollen today and they feel like they're busting out of them. *Sigh* More rain about to start.

Lunch time and I've got some other stuff I have to do.

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The BookWorm

So sleepy

Been getting a lot done, but trying to finish the website has been causing lack of sleep. I haven't stopped yawning all day long. On the other hand, looks like everything is green-lighted for the creative writing group and typing is ahead of schedule. The tweaks to the corpse description work really good. Now I'm debating whether ir not to end the chapter as I originally planned it, or open chapter four with the discovery of the body.

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The BookWorm

Eew, he was dead how long?

Spending this writing hour typing because I have found a major flaw. Zy just discovered the first of the murderer's victims. He has been decomposing for sixty days. I got the smell covered, but I think the body would look in worse shape than I have described. So research to do.

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The BookWorm

Tired so tired

Stayed up way past my bedtime trying to finish the goddamned Library update. Of course it's all the pages I didn't do anything to during the first go around, but since I'm checking everything with the graphics reorganization, they're all full of errors.

Coworkers baby shower and mail out to work on. Time to get to work.

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The BookWorm

Bouncing Ideas Group

I took the stuff down because I am upset that my experiment failed. I can't recreate the bouncing ball group. You and I always end up fighting, T's response is always "sounds good can't wait to read the story," and Jazz gets caught in the middle. You guys never really wanted to comment, so I'll cut my loses now.

Okay, it has come to my attention that I didn't explain the rules. Or at least my intentions. I thought I had, but that's a different story.

Creative ball bouncing means asking for, getting, and clarifing feedback while in the writing stages of the story. In other words, you post the story notes or idea, someone else says what they think on it, and if you need to you add more of your idea add more, And things continue in the back and forth fashion until the problems get ironed out.

Who's interested in being in this group?

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The BookWorm

Disappearance of the Evil Jack posts

They're gone because I was stupid enough to think I could discuss my story notes and find faults with them and correct those faults before writing a single word of the actual publishable story down.

I am sorry for subjecting my friends to this and forcing them to do something they didn't feel comfortable doing.

I'm sorry that my definition of "discuss," which means to clear up any preconceived notions my badly written notes have left with what is actually floating in my head on this project in nebulous form with a post responding to comments made, doesn't match anyone else's.

I have kept all comments made on the scene outlines, and will use them when I write the stories. Thank you for what you helped me come up with.

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The BookWorm

Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 2 Question 3

Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 2

3). Why does your protagonist want this thing?
1). She wants to please Murdock, and Murdock entrusted her with this case. 2). A killer must be caught to protect others. 3). She wants to do a good job, and to solve the crimes has always been her dream.

Are her reasons (her motivations) admirable?
Professionalism is always admirable, and Zy is trying hard to be a professional as she sees it--capture the bad guy and keep him from hurting more people. Wanting to please someone else is usually the sign of how much you care for them.

Are her reasons logical in this story situation?
Capturing the bad guys is her job. Before Murdock came into her life, she was another lost child in the foster care system with only detective fiction to build a moral code around. Murdock saved her and gave her a way of following her dream.

Are her reasons believable to the extent that a reader will accept them as strong (substantive, legitimate, urgent) enough to motivate a strong (substantive, independent, principled) protagonist throughout the entire length of your story?
Yeap. Her self-worth won't let her walk away.

Will a reader not only believe these character motives, but adopt them on behalf of the character and root for the character to achieve her desire?

I'm betting the book on it.

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The BookWorm

I hate the electric company

Why can't they settle on a number to use as the due date? Why does it have to be the first Monday of the month when my next paycheck falls on the Friday after that, so I have to try to squeeze that payment out of this paycheck? So what can I cut? Grocery shopping (again), my payment to Mom for use of her gas card, going to the vet (again)?

What makes the damn high electric bill even worse is that I was watching my usage! Everything went off except one AC because I don't want the cat to suffocate. I'm out of the house 12 hours a day, all the lights go out when I'm sleeping except for two nightlights. Two fans run constantly and possibly the computer if I don't turn it off. That creates at least a $10 difference in usage from last year? And the bill shows that the difference is in usage, not in price of electricity, though I'm going to have to double check that when I get home.

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The BookWorm

Otherworld

Once bitten twice shy. London rubbed me the wrong way when I commented on her BMFM stories, and I was hardly impressed with that level of writing. Should I give her another chance?

And drat, I just realized that my friend will be expecting me at 4:30 not 5:30. So I better go to the writing hour now. And I just got to the Vincent Price page!

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The BookWorm

Today as a goof-off day

Sure I could be working on a story while we're doing nothing all day long, but I want to read stuff in this great site I found on Horror movies. Can't stand watching them (so I don't like gore) but I don't mind reading about them. http://www.houseofhorrors.com go ahead and check it out.

I do promise I will be done reading by the time my writing hour gets here and I will go to work.

And my cat was completely mesmerizied by the stationary bike. No surprise, I don't think anyone has been on it since I brought him home. I only got 10 minutes of exercise on it this morning. I had a late start pulling myself together. More on Mustard's reactions tomorrow.

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30 Minutes

Quote of the Day: Women's virtue is man's greatest invention. -- Cornelia Otis Skinner

The need and benefit of thirty minutes of exercise a day has been well documented according to this article that sums it all up. My problem has been finding the time. I tried getting up an hour earlier to exercise, but the trade off with lack of sleep doesn't work. But that was with an exercise routine that took about 45 minutes.

Since I'm not willing to get up that early, and I'm not willing to give up my writing hour for exercise hour, and exercising after I get home would make me too wired for real sleep, I figured the exercising was doomed. Just try to watch what I eat. I gained 5 pounds since my last doctor's visit in April.

Then it hit me this morning, the alarm is set for 5am. The cat expects his food at 5am. (Poor thing must have figured I was going to put more flea killing stuff on him, he left me alone this morning.) I don't have to get up till 5:30am in order to be ready for work, but I hate setting the minutes on the clock so I set the alarm on the hours. I found my thirty minutes.

Course, I had this revelation when it was time to crawl out of bed and get dressed. But I'm going to start tomorrow!

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*Bleary-eyed* Finished?

Of course the 200 degrees (slight exaggeration, but not really once you factor in humidity) would strike on my big clean-up weekend.

Friday: Between my doctor visits, Chad, me and Mom get things moved for Mom. Chad gets a new (for him) desk. And we discover the truck's battery light is on. Chad also confused since I told him Thursday night we'd be working on Friday and he swears I didn't, but he was more worried about the TV problem at the house he was house-sitting for.

Saturday: Chad has to go get plants for the Faire site. Convenient that popping up on the weekend I've had planned for a month. Mom and I got table and chairs moved from my back porch to her house. We got halfway through the front porch by the time we had filled the truck. Of course, my sister is thoroughly pissed that we're getting rid of "her" garage sale stuff before she deems it time to have another one, and vanishes without a trace.

Truck is full, Mom takes shower, I wash my car. Then I take shower and we decide to go get food and drop stuff in truck off. Truck gets us to Ponchatoula before we realize no headlights and no real acceleration. Get truck back home, go for food in my car. After we buy Church's fried chicken, Mom can't get into my car with the funny lock system. I get her in, get the chicken in, and get myself in, leaving my wallet on the roof of my car. It goes flying off right on the fourlane highway right before the Interstate on-ramp. Quick U-turn and we save my wallet. Miraculously, NOTHING had fallen out of it.

We get home and Mom counts chicken. We bought a 16 peice meal and suffered politely with the trainee on the cash register, and only had 12 peices when we got home. We ate, and Mom broke her plate trying to get seconds. We get a swimming invite and Kenn and Amy bring over "Finding Nemo" and "Return of the King" for the gang to watch at Jaime's house--the one Chad is housing sitting for.

After a swell chase for a gas station that will take my credit card because I'm nearly empty, I finally make it to Jaime's. "Return of the King," which is rated PG-13, won't play in their Playstation 2 setup for DVDs because of the parental controls. Luckily, "Finding Nemo" does work. Cute film, beautiful animation.

Sunday: Go get Chd and he can only work half a day, needing to plant the plants they had gotten yesterday. We finish cleaning off my back porch,get my living room rug out, and go shopping for Mom and Lowes'. Oh, it's also Father's Day and guess who has no money for a present. *Raises hand.* Mom gets the corner of the garage she's going to move her new job opportunity into cleaned out and mostly set up.

I got the nonfiction books organized and shelved according to the Dewey Decimal system. And before there are any more "I can't believe you are that anal" comments, I've been using a cruder system of my own design for years. It's not effective enough. Especially when the smallest number of books I had in any of the ten categories was seven.

Course I go and shove everything off my desk onto the cleaned-off kitchen table, but my desk looks so much better now. :) It won't stay like this; that's actually the next project I have to work on.

Mustard still has fleas. I'm going to have to give him a flea shampoo bath next week after I get paid and he ain't going to like that at all. Chad recommends a flea collar too, to keep them off his face. I doubt my cat's going to like that either.

House news, I finally got a price from my grandmother. Onto the next phase of the quest!

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I know what I want for Yule/Christmas

News I recieved in my Inbox today:

HEY GUYS...

BIG NEWS. SO BIG I'M LOCKING DOWN MY CAPS.

AS MANY OF YOU KNOW, THE FIRST SEASON OF GARGOYLES IS BEING RELEASED THIS
YEAR ON DVD TO COINCIDE WITH THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY OF THE SERIES.

I'VE JUST BEEN INFORMED THAT DISNEY IS SENDING A VIDEO CREW TO THE GATHERING
OF THE GARGOYLES, OUR ANNUAL CONVENTION, TO TAPE THE FANS, GUESTS, EVENTS,
ETC. FOR THE EXTRAS SECTION OF THE DVD.

THAT MEANS IF YOU ATTEND THE CONVENTION THIS AUGUST 6-8 IN MONTREAL, YOU
HAVE A CHANCE TO ACTUALLY BE ON THE DVD. LET THAT SINK IN FOR A SECOND.

IF YOU'RE ALREADY SIGNED UP, GREAT. BUT IF NOT -- WELL -- WHAT ARE YOU
WAITING FOR!!!!

CHECK OUT THE CON'S WEBSITE AT:

http://www.gatheringofthegargoyles.com/

DON'T MISS THIS GATHERING!!!!!!!!

Okay so I can't go to Montreal; not even going to fool myself on that one. But buy the DVD so Disney will go "hey this made money let's put out season two" HELL YEAH! I might buy EVERYBODY Gargoyles DVDs for Christmas.

I think Mom would probably hit me.

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Update and New Book

Finished the Alt. BM Site update in record time for me. Go check it out.

And damn, David A. Fryxell is covering all the problems I've seen Red exhibit in Chapter 12 of Write Faster, Write Better. Definately going to be using it in upcoming tutorials. I'll see about getting Red the chapter in the meantime, though.

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Doctor Visit

Doctor visit is scheduled for Friday, moms! :p Now can you tell me how the hell to pay for it?

MLA has come up with a new toy. I went and played with the map, French Creole was a lot more spread out than I anticipated.

I have to wrap up at least the Alt. BM Site update tonight. That shouldn't be a problem. The other updates, I know I'm not ready for the Library. I think I'm ready with the next tutorial. And stuck all day at work and can't work on that stuff.

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It's Only Wednesday?

Quote of the Day: You can't shake hands with a clenched fist. -- Indira Gandhi

I'm going to bed on time, but I doubt that I'm getting enough sleep. I'm so sleepy in the morning and I just stay sleepy all day.

But today is going to be a good day. I had just climbed into my car to leave for work when a hawk swooped down and landed in the backyard. I have no idea what kind of hawk, I'm not that much a bird watcher, but he was a big one at least the same size as Kitty's red-tailed hawks in the Faire's Birds of Prey show. Hawks that I've seen and became totems of good luck on the trip are usually much smaller. He stayed on the ground for a few minutes, and then perched in a tree. Grey and black so I know he's not a red-tailed hawk.

Still worried about my finger. I don't know why the side away from the blood clot under the nail is swollen and dark and hurts with pressure in the right spot.

Let me get busy. Too much to do.

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Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 2 Question 2

Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 2

2). How much does your protagonist want this thing?

Zy wants to please Murdock very much. After all, he could have turned around and left her on Earth. She owes her career and her escape to him, and feels that is something she could never pay back.

Is this the most crucial need, or close to it, that this character has ever experienced?

She has never had someone filling this parental role so close to her before. And after the killer makes attacks on her, capturing him to protect Mylte and Xeryl becomes more important. Because the killings are accelerating, it's only a metter of time before he starts killing anyone regardless of their criminal background.

Does the reader, in fact, recognize that this character has a life before and beyond this story in order to be able to make this judgement?

I refer to her recent past life a bit. Previous cases, life on Earth. The future is trickier. I haven't visualizied as many plot points for a series.

Will the reader be able to identify with your character's feeling of crisis when it comes to this desire?

Well, the hunt for the killer is going to be stated plainly. Zy's need to please Murdock I'm going to leave as unstated character motivation.

Have you adequately presented and communicated that atmosphere of urgency?

I hope so, but I don't know yet.

If not, how, specifically (in scenes, action, dialogue), can you turn up the story heat on the intensity of his desire?

Coming up is Mylte's surprise intro. Have one trap planned that will end with the killer attacking Zy and getting away. A second trap that is also avoided. Another attack though not the killer attacking personally. Zy has to go back undercover in order to protect Xeryl. The climax attack. Along with the standand red herrings and dead ends in the hunt.

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Tweaking the Blog

Took advantage of the new features available and turned on the Recent Posts feature. Hopefully it will make posts easier to find.

Which reminds me to get the Crossroads copied over to Pen to Paper. :p Guess I need a link to there now. SO much for being done with the tweaking.

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What I did

Saturday was cast social and practice for peasant court. So we had to be at the party house' in New Orelans for 10:30 am. Which meant leaving home a little after 7:30am and do what errands we had to do. I ended up (while still getting Chad's stuff together at the site) bending back a fingernail so badly it started to bleed. It's better today, I finally got he bandaid off and clipped the nail back so it wouldn't get caught on anything. *Sigh* And it was looking so pretty. You can see the blood clot and bruise through the nail.

My leg is better today too. My cat decided to play scratch on Kindra and she'll let me out. I gave him the water bottle. He decided that he was cornered and retaliated. Next paycheck he's going to the vet and we're going to end these little testerone spurts.

Today looks like it's going to be catch up on all the mail day. Post offices were closed on Friday because of Reagan's funeral. I could use the break from the bouncing from website work to book catalouging work to house cleaning work all day Sunday. Unfortunately, I don't want to be doing this for my break. :p

On the writing front, I have some astronomical details worked out on Mylte's home world and system. Still have some details to go, but wouldn't you know I left the reference book at home? *Sigh* I'll probably just end up typing during today's writing hour, if I can get my info off the CD.

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Taking a break

My finger hurts. My leg hurts. Laundry is finished except for the putting away part. Books, I'm probably halfway though nonfiction now. Website update, ugh, not even close to halfway.

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Too early

It is still WAY too early for me to be up, due to factors a little beyond my control yesterday. But too much housework to justify staying in bed. Too much housework to justify staying on the computer but I'm ignoring that for now.

T is the only one brave enough to start a dialogue on plans. *Sigh* I'm really that bad, huh? Need to go formulate answers now.

Okay answers made. And I have to go start laundry. And everything else. But I don't want to! Where's my fucking day of rest?


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Mexican tonight, but I'm running from the band

Actually their band is the only reason I haven't gone back to that restaurant, but they should be playing outside tonight.

Today's been an odd day. No mail except express stuff because all Federal workers get off for Reagan's funeral. So I finally finished the graphic reorganizing work on my website, except for the tiny fact of double checking it and getting it right on my hard drive and then uploading and deleting graphic files no longer in use. No biggy at all. :p

Jazzie needs a hug. Emailing hugs is a speciality.

Now let's see if I can get anymore work done on the calendar for Zy's novel.

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Web work at work

Well I finally stumbled upon what I can do at work toward fixing pages for the updates. The only hiccup has been the failure of a CD save. I had to stop the work and save what I had done to CD because the IT department came through in the middle of the day to convert our computers to XP. According the the CD burning program, I was supposed to be able to read and write to the CD Windows Explorer. Well it failed, though after I had transfered the files I had changed back to the harddrive. Good thing I brought another CD to burn the changed material. Though I'm betting this one will probably work once I finalize the CD.

Back to work.

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Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 2 Question 1

Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 2

Instructions: For this Q&A session with your favorite author (yourself), I ask you to do something very difficult. I ask you to interrogate yourself about your protagonist. This is tantamount to requesting a critique of your grandchild. I know this because I am both an autho and a grandmother. If anyone so much as suggested to me that my granddaughter required an evaluation, my back would shoot up so high there'd be vertebra imprints on the ceiling. She's perfect. She's wonder. End of story.

It's almost that hard to be objective about a character you've created. You have no doubt whatsoever that your character is strong enough to carry the burden of your story plus a couple of others. Your protagonist is perfect, wonderful. End of story.

Okay, I hear you. I acknowledge your defense of your baby, but the time has come for brutal honesty. You must push beyond your indignation. Stop telling yourself, "What she's saying doesn't apply to my protagonist. Other writers' characters, maybe, but not mine." You must get past that stubborn stance immediately and completely. Otherwise, this interrogation technique and the entire process of self-editing cannot work for you or for your story.

You must think of your protagonist as if someone else created him. Ask yourself each of the following questions. Answer each fully and honestly, as if this were somebody else's kid, not your own.

Note: Each numbered question is made up of many questions that will be answered separately. I'm going to be questioning in regards to Zy, protagonist of the unnamed science fiction mystery I'm working on.

1). What does your protagonist want in this story?

Zy wants to catch the murderer and please Murdock. He has entrusted his murder investigation to her and she would rather die than disappoint him.

Is this desire significant enough to make a reader also want it for your character?

The murderer has a way of killing people without leaving any trace of the weapon used. And he is systematically killing of heads of criminal organizations and breeding more chaos in and between the organizations. And as the murders escalate, there is the fear that he could start killing innocents.

Is this desire significant enough to make a reader want it for your character through the length of an entire book, as long as the character wants it for herself?

Solving the crime and catching the bad guy are essential plot points for the mystery genre. On the personal level, everyone has had someone that they have wanted to impress and be proud of them, usually a parent figure of some sort. Murdock is that figure for Zy.

Or--does this desire, sooner or later, pale into "Who cares?" territory for the reader?

I don't think it pales. The murders and personal danger to Zy escalate during her investigation. She also ends up with two sidekicks that she is responsible for, giving the murderer two more targets.

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Crossroads An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 1 Question 24 - 28

Crossroads An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 1

24). What is the most significant thing you've ever discovered about yourself?

I have a gift for writing dialogue.

25). What do you like most about yourself?

I try to be kind to everyone.

26). What do you dislike most about yourself?

That I'm an indecisive neurotic fruitcake.

27). In what specific experience of your life did you feel most enraged? Terrified? Humiliated? Heartbroken? Ecstatic?

Since I'm trying to wrap these questions up today, I'm going with terrified. I live alone. Baton Rouge was in the grip of the first serial killer terror. I had a swell nightmare about women being decapitated that woke me up, and something was wrong with the room. I finally figured it out. I keep two night lights going, one in the kitchen and one in the bathroom. One of those nightlights was not shinning into my bedroom. I found my sword that I was keeping next to my bed, and charged out to find that the lightbulb had burnt out in the bathroom nightlight. That also qualifies as the most relived I have ever felt in my life.

28). Feel free to add any further questions or considerations pertinent to your life and experience.

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Feeling Grumpy

It occurred to me after I hit sent, I may have sent an email that had a grumpier tone than intended. Red, most of the grumpy is from lack of sleep.

The rest is complicated. I have a fear of talking the story to death--meaning I don't want to write it any more. There is also wanting to surprise my readers. But I also want feedback when the story is still being shaped. But when I tried to start discussions, there was no useful feedback. People would beg off saying they needed the whole story or get caught up on something that I don't think is an issue or get off topic.

Needless to say, none of this leads to me soliciting or getting useful responses. And I get upset when something useful comes way too late to do any good. And I get upset with no feedback or silly feedback, and then nobody wants to give feedback because it just makes me upset.

I don't like getting upset, and I want to keep writing, and I don't want to do something that completely turns off my readers or is totally out of character and I can't see it. It's easier creating in a vacuum of perception. I could go back to that, but I feel it's going to lead to me getting upset and defensive about the finished product.

It's probably just indicitive of the thicker skin I need to develop. But I don't want to blow off the perception of my friends that I know are intelligent readers. Except--of course--when they're wrong. *wink*

So I'm think I need to start the dialogue here. These are the opinions I care about regardless.

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Ronald Reagan is dead

I'm a little stunned. He died on Saturday and was 93 years old, but he was still the first president I have a memory of. And now he's gone.

Now I get to try to finish cleaning house and get to the state of think of stuff that is writing and not Faire related.

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Friday Finally

Quote of the Day: Years ago, fairy tales all began with "Once upon a time..."--now we know they alll begin with, "If I am elected." -- Carolyn Warner

Finished reading Aliens and Alien Society. Now I have Mylte's physical/biological characteristics somewhere in my notes, so all I have to do is create a planet/solar system that would have evolved such a creature as well as the society he is no longer part of due to some trespass on his part.

Project for Monday.

Today is Harry Potter night. Saturday is clean more of the house before meeting day. Sunday is finish the bloody house.

So till the mail and noon comes I'm going to work on transcribing notes for "Let Us Give Thanks." I have to come up with a couple more murder suspects as well as introduce the real murderer and segue into an attack on Vinnie.

I'm probably going to give up and read more. I have to start "Southern Ghost" now. Fictional, mystery by Carolyn G. Hart in her Death on Demand series. I'll probably finish going through the rest of the chapter one Crossroads questions too.

Hmm, told people no complaints but I guess nobody read yesterday's post. I know it's still rough action-wise but the dialogue finally clicked for Stoker. *Shrug* T was partly dead yesterday, and Jazzie has been MIA since she finished "Black Rider."

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Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 1 Question 23

Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 1

23). What act of heroism would you be least likely to perform?

Putting my life on the line. Soldiers, fire fighters, police officers; Lord and Lady how I respect them, but I can't do it. Don't even want to think about doing it.

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Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 1 Question 22

Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 1

22). What crime would you be most likely to commit if you were to commit a crime?

Stealing money. I always have a need for it, and you can pull it off without killing someone if you do it right. But luckily I'm too honest to actually do it.

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Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 1 Question 21

Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 1

21). What sort of person do you feel the most sympathy for? The least sympathy for?

I have no sympathy for blantant stupidity. If a person's actions brought about their tragedy, but those actions were based on stupid decisions I feel no sympathy for it. Or if they're blantantly evil, they get what they deserve.

The most sympathy for is harder: the Gollum. A character that has no choice between a rock and a hard place and neither decision brings a happy ending. Classic misunderstandings between characters. The outside monster that has a heart of gold.

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Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 1 Question 20

Crossroads: An Author Self-Interrogation Chapter 1

20). What do you pray won't happen to you?

To die forgotten. I want my fame while I am still here to enjoy it. Though I found some pleasure in one of Ray Bradbury's short stories. The narrator invented a time machine, but instead of doing the usual time machine tricks, he goes to the writers who died practically forgotten and shows them the latest editions of their works. Wonderfully touching, what I would do if I had a time machine.

But I still want the fame now.

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I'm SO Sick of Cleaning!

Quote of the Day: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time. And that's sufficient. -- Rose King

Saturday - a family reunion of all the descendets of my paternal great-grandmother on the Coates side. Both my sisters got out of it :p, but it was still nice. Enough food to feed the army in Iraq. I learned that the first Coates (in our family) was Martin Coates, born in 1819 in Yorkshire, England. Family lore says he immigrated by working across on a livestock ship when he was 13 or 14, making it somewhere around 1833 when he came to Louisiana. No records to ack any of that up though. What I find trully fascinating, is that Clovis and Chad working out where the heck is our Faire village supposed to be in England came up with somewhere in Yorkshire. And I had no input into that what so ever.

Came home, watched some movies, shoved stuff into the living room, but mostly worked on the spreadsheet. Chad finally called and I got online for a while.

Sunday - the down and dirty cleaning day. Took out 3 bags of trash and started scanning stuff onto the harddrive, tossing stuff into the give away box. And I tried sewing the striped breeches when I got sick of going through papers.

I ended up with three pairs. The first too small and will probably fit Krista. The second pair is big enough in the waist to fit Chad and me. The crotch measurment in the third pair is all wrong.

Monday - holiday from the job and I should have left the house day. But no I was stupid. I keep cleaning, even though I knew all I wanted was one day out of the damn house. I managed to get 3 file boxes and 2 crates down to one file box of loose material to rego through and the stacks of binders on my desk to scan and the stacks of things on the sewing table. It is an accomplishment but it doesn't feel like one. All it feels like I'm doing is shuffling the mess around. And scanning takes forever and I'm not even though with the first binder and I have a dozen left to do (mostly 2-inch thick binders). And the whole rest of the world went to the beach and went to the river AND DIDN'T CLEAN THEIR GODDAMNED FUCKING HOUSES.

See, still resentful. And I inadverdentily double blocked my main entrace as well as I ate a whole pan of brownines and two boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes and finished off 2 twelve packs of Diet Dr. Pepper.

Tuesday - woke up sick day. I called in, and got another day to tackle the mess of everything inside my house. And my cat has fleas so he ends up getting treated, the whole house gets treated, and I put the outdoor powder down on my bedroom floor since it says indoor and outdoor use. (They meant like attics and crawlspaces.) I figured it would vacuum right up. It doesn't vacuum right up. I had to mop and it still doesn't all come up. Have a crying fit while mopping. Not like I already have enough to do and I go and make a bigger fucking mess. Oh yeah, and the stuff is poisonous to humans especially absorbed through the skin.

I finally give up and go to Chad's with an apology supper. Mainly cause I feel bad venting all this stuff at him. Goddess knows why. Because he doesn't throw tantrums over everything? But if I didn't get out of there I was going to drink the insecticide I should have put down instead of the powder. And then I find out that the leader's meeting has been moved up a week, so I have to hurry home and email Di so she can finish the concept drawings so I can present them. *thud, thud, thud* They tell me to delegate and then shit like this happens when I do delegate!

So I go home and email and clean out my email.

Wednesday - back at the job. I still need to balance the checkbook. I got the bedroom vacuumed this morning. I still have to vacuum the rest of the house. I guess I can balance that while I scan tonight. Oh yeah, and then I get to do the spray and vacuum regime again in 3 weeks.

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