Savannah Sharp

Date of birth: January 6, 1988

Date of passing: October 3, 2005 4:07 p.m.

This is the last picture I have of her. Taken sometime in April or May.



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The BookWorm

Enough for today

hey, I don't blame you if you don't want to read the previous post. If I'm going to embrace the angst I should embrace the angst. Or does that just fuel it.

Regardless, it looks like I finally have a HOME link. I only worked on it most of the day Friday. Though I think it only works when you go to the separate page post. Better than the nothing I had before.

I've wasted lunch hour regardless. Do the paying job junk and then typing madly on the resource guide.

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The BookWorm

Don't stop; can't stop...

and I wonder why I'm so tired all the time?

I should also know to wait to read anything as contentious as fanfic writing opinions before all my brain cells are awake. Yes, I did read the link, and valid points are made on both sides. Did reading it change anything about how I view fanfiction and the writing of it? Nope. I wrote original first and will write it last. But I only put my best efforts on the Internet, and that goes for both. I hope I can take Bradley and Lackey's view of playing when it turns around on my writing.

Last update I had on Savannah was yesterday: they did lastik on her to get rid of the fluid build up from her non-functioning kidneys. The stomach port for nutrition is in and stable. Parents decision, they decided feeding her wasn't part of the live support Savannah said she didn't want. I can't stay around the Sharp side of her family for very long. My jaw will unlock and will tell them off. They want to try all life-support because "people come out of comas all the time." First off, you people didn't even spend anytime with Savannah to learn what she felt about life support. Second, coma, persistant vegitative state, whatever Terry Schivo had wrong with her is not the same thing as organ functioning stopping. To compare those cases with Savannah's case is delusional hope. I know they're hurting too, so I just walk away.

How true is it that I thrive on stress? Not very I guess. I miss Chad like hell, and turn into screaming shrew woman when I do get time with him. The movies were fun, feeling like a real date. Being cranky and screaming over a stupid "what's wrong with the system" conversation hardly says I love you. I don't know how to stop doing it. Hell, I don't even know why I picked up that behavior out of all others from my father, especially how much I hate it in him. Okay, now I just hope that I'm super tired and just over analyzing it like I always do.

Meanwhile, along with my cousin is dying and there's nothing you can do demon, the social system is all fucked up and I want to do something and there's nothing I can do demon, and the dysfunctional girlfriend who doesn't deserve a boyfriend to yell at demon, I have all the evil writing related demons bashing me and fueling my yelling hysterics. It's almost enough to make me wish I was a weepy hysteric instead. Crying seems like so much more normal reaction than burning rage. And with as much analysis as I put into how I feel, I don't understand why I'm having such a block with literary criticism. Screw it, I'm not reading all that (the assignment for today) in one frickin' day. I'll wow her with the paper.

September 30 analysis written in a notebook:

the car ride home and it's time for my daily reflection to the sounds of Metallica and San Francisco Orchestra; gotta love the S&M album.

So what's bothering me today besides the pinched nerve in my neck and lack of sunglasses (I figure they're in my black bag on the back seat I must empty it someday)? Same thing bothering me every ride home, Pinky. My writing career.

I had a productive day today for nonfiction. Deadlines and slack work time are a blessing. That thing called sleep probably isn't going to happen this weekend. I'd be having a typing marathon [didn't happen I ended up at the hospital with my cousin], up early to get Chad [sorta happened with a lousy definition of "early"], put in toilet [actually we got this one accomplished! Now we just have to find the tiny leak on it], finish typing [stop laughing this is my delusional-ish self-reflection], two movies [both were very good escapism which I desperately needed by that point], taking Chad back [I finally got to type at his mother's]; you get the idea what my weekend looks like.

Anyways, productive for nonfiction. My car time, when not spent in self-reflection, has been useful for a TMNT fanfic experiment--which I think is just an excuse by me to not deal with transitions--and for a revision rewrite of the prologue for my webcomic idea. I'm thinking I can offer it for sale on my website if it's good enough. No just cause I don't intended it for magazine sales doesn't mean it can be substandard. The two or three short story ideas for magazines have been holding stagnant, and I want to work on Zy's novel again. But I've still been productive.

Yet it doesn't feel productive. I'm tired all the time and can't justify spending time on housework or homework, much less writing. SLU English Department is starting a writing group meeting at 3pm. Everything they do is in the fucking middle of the day. I know I need to yell louder to have my needs met as a student, but trying, but trying to raise enough energy throught the demons yelling that their lack of sympathy is just proof that I'm not part of the group and will always be exiled. Never hired, never a member of the group with a valid opinion. Outsider wanting to be part of the cool crowd once again. [Most of this brought on by Thursday night drama that left me with equal parts of "I'm supposed to have something in common with these people" and "grow up already." Added to the residual disappointment over the job opportunity.]

Look don't tell me it's stupid feeling that way even slightly. I know it's stupid. But I also can't help thinking it when I'm depressed over the fact Chad and I were supposed to be in classes at the same time this semester and here I am eating alone while everyone else is in that happy bliss of college life and my classes suck and the only think I'll probably get out of them is which 17th century writer make good quotes. And add to that I will never get away from the soul-sucking commute cause the job employment gods hate me. Fun being in my head isn't it? [No, I really don't expect that to have a positive answer.]

What's wrong with me? I'm not even sure if a writing group will help. Forward Motion just added to my stress. I read a rant by Scott Kurtz in how he found his creative spark and hasn't missed a day of PvP since. I want that. Desperately.

I should go reexamine Heather Sellers advice on dealing with demons and calling the muse back. And I better do it soon before I have a nervous breakdown over my writing career.

Yeah, I made up my mind after that to pull a marathon typing sessions coupled with some self-help reading and delivery pizza. And my parents called just as I was eating my first slice.

My first conclusion from rehashing this is I need a good grounding and a nap. In more long term help I found this advice today from Carolyn Hax:

Your best chance of finding peace with others is to make some peace with yourself, by accepting a less-than-perfect aspect of your personality, making the best use of it, being careful not to take it out on others, using all this as a way to like your less-than-perfect self -- and then letting your critics love it or leave it.

Yeah that last bit is something I need to work on. Along with dealing with my residual outcast back-lash. I don't need everyone to love me, just the ones I know already do.

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The BookWorm

Update on my cousin

I had every intention of coming home and typing tonight, getting the resource guide wrapped up and looking at fiction. My problems with fiction writing is another post altogether and now not nearly as important.

Savannah, my cousin with brain cancer, is in renal failure. She's still fighting, but well, hell, look it up in a dictionary. I don't mean it like that; Chad's way of putting it is true, but I can't say it like that. Right now we're all waiting.

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The BookWorm

Yeah, it's a good Friday.

Sorry about no post yesterday. I was busy reading Bacon. I'm almost finished, which means I should have plenty of time to read the other two guys for next week. Though I do have to start on the reading for Monday night's class.

Today is a writing day. I have to finish two more sections on the Resource Guide, and then were saying that's a wrap for this year. I'll probably need to get started on the material for the spring Acadiana Faire before adding in the stuff that didn't make 2005 version to the 2006 version. Hey that's one way to keep the teachers hungry for more.

And the S.S. Camille ship survived. I'm awed. Seeing that ship and having my mother explain that a hurricane put it on the other side of the road was my first lightbulb moment concerning hurricanes. It's still surreal, but in a good way obviously.

Anyways, home repairs and movies this weekend. I got the tickets for Saturday night.

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The BookWorm

No, I'm not going to scream

This is why we go for further education, to teach us how to get along with fellow man when fellow man seeks to drive us up the wall, right? It's all about karma enlightenment, right? I'm earning brownie points somewhere and one day I will have a HUGE ASS MERIT BADGE, RIGHT?

Okay so I lied about the screaming. Judging from the emails I just received for the class, the way that was decided to fix the syllabus was to jump over to the date we are currently on. Let me check the bleeping blackboard for a bleeping updated syllabus. No, why should we have something that tells us when bleeping papers are due and what we are supposed to be reading?

Yes, friends. I think I have just wasted a day and a half reading the wrong assignment. No, I don't think it's too late to start reading the new stuff, but I'm just ready to tear my hair out all the same.

Damn just when I was starting to like Bacon's prose, we've got to go back with poetry.

2:30 p.m. update: ARGH! I'm going to throw my book at the professor! Yes, I emailed for clarification (an started an email back and forth with another student who is just as confused as I am; I'm not alone) and NOW she remembers the other assignments. Meanwhile I had stopped reading to try to find out what was going on and will now have to do a cram session tonight and tomorrow before class to finish.

*Twitch* And I was hoping to go home and do something soothing oh like finishing the resource guide.

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The BookWorm

Time for more Bacon

As in Francis Bacon. I really hope I'm not supposed to have all the essays by him, Hobbes, and Donne read by tomorrow, because I don't think it's going to happen--even with as fast as I read.

I want a double feature this weekend, but we may have to drive to Baton Rouge to get it. Serenity starts Friday and Corpse Bride started last weekend, and I don't know when the Hammond theater is going to get new movies delivered. MirrorMask is also starting on Friday, but with a limited release. I doubt even Baton Rouge is on that list. Checking with MovieTickets.com.

Well, looks like we can see Corpse Bride and Serenity back to back, and MirrorMask is showing no where within 40 miles of my house.

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The BookWorm

Ugh on a Tuesday

Yesterday was spent trying to get caught up on yard work--i.e. clean up after Katrina and Rita--and catch up on stuff I needed from the library for the Monday night class. I managed to work outside for 2 hours before reaching the almost loopy stage from the heat. Mind you I did take an hour long drink as much water as you can hold between the two. I got the front yard between the oak tree and the camilla tree from my front porch to those two trees cleared.

INSERT PHOTO OF FRONT YARD

I burned the pile of debris that Chad and I had gathered post-Katrina, and that was the "big" stuff. There's still scattered mess in the back yard, as well as dealing with where the burn pile was that Chad wants to turn into a garden. I haven't had the energy to argue with him over how a garden is going to be cared for since all I do is drive and he's living with his mother. I guess Mustard is supposed to pull up weeds.

We still need to cut down the other crepe myrtle. I was extremely lucky Rita didn't knock it down. It's too close to the house to just let it fall when it wants to go. The cedar and the camilla both need trimming, though the camilla is supposed to be after it's bloomed. I need to trim the gardenia and hydragena bushes.

And then there's the fig tree. Okay, the fig tree is ancient as far as fig trees go. We're supposed to start new plantings off of it because it won't last much longer. The center of it came crashing down with Rita. I can't see through the weedy undergrowth too see how bad the damage is (my fear of snakes got a couple of shocks this past weekend and I have avoided poking into the mess.) so again, I'm waiting.

By 1 p.m. I had bathed and went to lunch on campus. Then I marched to the library to get the essays on Great Expectations. I couldn't check the book because of fines. Turns out all the books I had out for the Resource Guide were due Sept. 22. Oops. Plus they still had my $4 that I payed off at the beginning of the semester listed. Went back home to renew the books, got two of the essays needed copied, and read for class. Went to class and discovered that I had more essaies to copy from the book. Signed up for a presentation on postcolonialism lit. theory. I don't even know what that is. Okay I think I know what it is, blame the white man through his novels. Mind you, that won't be the attitude I use for the presentation. Watch while the only other person I sorta know in the class--she just joined cast for the RenFaire--swooped in on the idea I was thinking for the big research paper. I might still be able to use it, but now I haven't to make sure I have a different tatic. Went home disgusted for supper. Talked to Chad on the phone.

Today I made it to work at 6:30 a.m. I can't win with the traffic. It's either too soon or too late. Gee, I can't wait for the sleep depravation psychosis to start again. I brought my stuff for the Thursday night class, only to discover I don't have a revised schedule. I tried revising it myself and ran out of days. I'm reading what comes next, but the assignment after this one doesn't tell you where to find what we're supposed to read. And she doesn't have any due dates for the papers we're supposed to write. And in between storms it feels like we've lost a month of work time.

I got one set of shelves up in the living room and rearrange my fiction books. The DVDs and VCR tapes were rearranged, blending in what Chad left with me. Most of his books--the ones I don't need for research--will probably end up on the new shelves, but hidden by the couch. I still need to put up the kitchen set of shelves, and the library and other borrowed books will probably move to it. I still have to do so rearranging on the non-fiction books, and then I need to put stickers on the spines like the libraries do. The stack of books that I have to look up where they go on the shelves isn't working with my available desk space.

I always seem to have a lot more to say while at work.

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The BookWorm

Hello, faithful reader

*Sigh* I want a cool nickname for a fanbase. I guess I better get a fanbase first, huh?

Trying to get my house in order part two: I had to go buy shelves. It's not entirely my book buying self's fault. I have a lot of books checked out from the library, school books, and housing some of Chad's books since he evacuated to Lafayette. I finally got my boiled peanut goodness. I've been promising myself a can since right after Katrina hit.

Let's see, what else have I accomplished? Pictures scattered through the Garb Closet now, downloaded a couple of new programs (yWriter and BookCAT) that I have to play with later.

Now I have to go put shelves together and rearrange things. Will be bakc later to say how it went.

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The BookWorm

Hurrican Rita

Yeah I survived. Chad survived. I lost power for almost 24 hours, but if that was all I have so little to complain about.

The rest of the state not looking so pretty. But I really can't go into reporting mode about it right now. I wore myself out by cleaning house all day. Still have a room and a half to go and that's not counting the outside work either.

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The BookWorm

Where I am

I thought some pictures would help. The red star is where my house is.






And here I am in relation to Baton Rouge and New Orleans. Chad's mother lives in Lafayette, and Chad is with her. Just follow the red line west.









And following this link, you can see where Rita is planning to go: http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/refresh/graphics_at3+shtml/085714.shtml?3day.

We're supposed to leave work at noon. I have food, and bought water yesterday. I'll get a little bit more gas to keep the tank full.

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The BookWorm

The BookWorm's Library

Okay, the modem is finally stable. Yeah! I got the website up from the last back up. Yeah!

New material? Definately after hurricane season. Just don't ask me for a specific date yet.

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The BookWorm

Rita plans

Yeah, we have another hurrican in the Gulf. Fortunately, it looks like she's aiming for Texas or southwestern Louisiana. So I'm not running. But I might be getting Chad and his mother and their cats at my house, if they can get gas and get out of Lafayette. He said their gas stations were already had people backing up and waiting in lines.

I'm skipping class tonight to clean house and get supplies ready. Must be ready in case we lose power again. *Sigh* I bet I don't get my new toilet put in this weekend either.

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The BookWorm

Your Birthdate: February 26

Your birth on the 26th day of the month (8 energy) modifies your life by increasing your capability to function and succeed in the business world. In this environment you have the skills to work very well with others thanks to the 2 and 6 energies combining in this date. There is a marked increase in organizational, managerial, and administrative abilities. You are efficient and handle money very well. You're ambitious and energetic, while generally remaining cooperative and adaptable. You are conscientious and not afraid of responsibility. Generally sociable and diplomatic, you tend to use persuasion rather than force. You have a wonderful combination of being good at both the broad strokes and the fine detail; good at starting and continuing. This birthday is practical and realistic, often seeking material satisfaction.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Thanks Mez, but I don't think it's totally me. At least not with the money stuff. Though I have been improving.

In other news: I spent most of the night fighting with the new modem and whinning to my boyfriend. He at least was able to find some patches I needed. Finally got them up this morning. It should be working now, but it maybe tomorrow before I get to see. Tonight is a class night and I haven't read for it.

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The BookWorm

Well, my good news that didn't even last 24 hours

What I didn't want to spoil last night with the iffy ground blogging can be at times, especially when it comes to work.

I had a job interview today. I went to job interview today. I was really thrilled because getting the interview meant I had a chance of actually getting this job at Southeastern in Hammond with a 30-minute commute (at the most).

The ladies were really nice and apologetic. The governor had just declared a hiring freeze for state civil service jobs that morning. They called my current job to try to stop me from coming, but I had decided to kill two birds and had scheduled a doctor's appointment today too. I never went in.

I interviewed, stressed how I was willing to come in again once the hiring freeze was over. I haven't cried yet, but I didn't spend the amount of time I thought I would be on housework. It took 2 hours to get the DSL modem up and running.

I'll probably be on for a while in between housework. I still have a site to upload after all.

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The BookWorm

MODEM!

Okay, Mustard dropped the keyboard onto the floor and now it's acting funny. Course, it could be due to the automatic downloads.

Anyways, Chad set up the back-up dial-up part of my DSL package over the weekend while we were waiting for the DSL modem to arrive. Remember I had said either Monday or Tuesday should be the delivery date.

Monday was hell. I hadn't slept good at Chad's mother's house, was at work ungodly early in the morning, got to class late of course, and found out at 7:30pm the place I wanted to eat closed at 7pm. I got on the Interstate to go home. I couldn't get off at my exit and state troopers were everywhere. Okay back track to Hammond and take the backroads home. I ended up having to go two exits east just to get off the Interstate.

8:30pm by the time I got home. Been up officially since 4:30am (unofficially since about 2am), get into my house through the back door and see answering machine. Message cheered me up--more on that in a later post--and I called Chad to let him know I was home. Did the modem arrive? Checked front porch and no boxes. Go to bed.

Tuesday morning, dragging around trying to get ready for work. Remember I left bag of clothes in my car. Go out to get them and see the big CDW box right beside my back door steps. I was so exhausted and hadn't even registered last night. Laugh at myself and go to work.

Taking Wednesday off to handle business and doctors and house cleaning and writing. Hopefully not all at once. I start setting up the modem. It's a nice one built-in router, firewall, and wireless networking. But there are still cords to deal with. Last cord in the box is the phone cord. It's too short to reach the only phone jack in my house. I'm still on the dial-up typing this.

See told you it was a funny story. Gets better. Need new shoes for tomorrow. Only open shoe store in Hammond is right next to Office Depot. Had I not been a good girl and gotten dressed and went to work without playing with the new hardware, I could have bought a longer phone cord to go with my new black pumps!

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The BookWorm

Catching up

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what I missed with Red Planet while I was distracted. I'm trying to do it now so at lunch I can concentrate on writing.

Expect more from me later.

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The BookWorm

No really I hate driving

Back and forth. Back and forth. All over town for anything and everything. Getting railroaded into a social dinner when it was supposed to be a business meeting one. What specificially irks about that one is I got booted away from stuff like that before I started dating Chad, and now I'm dragged to them whether I want to go or not. There is such a thing as too nice.

I can only hope that I will actually get the new toilet installed next weekend. And hopefully more gutting of the bathroom. I'm trying to channel all this mid-project no progress stress into house cleaning.

Slept over at Chad's mother last night after dropping him off for the week. His cat tore up my toiletries bag for entertainment. *Shrugs* Got to work at ungodly early this morning. I don't like waking up at 2am. But it was a good thing, since the alarm clock didn't go off.

I got some of the reading done for class. Expect to see some reading notes soon. I'm also going to add some links to the blog so I can find my favorites.

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The BookWorm

Back to web presense

The waiting halfway paid off. The BookWorm's Library is up at a new domain name: http://www.bookwormlibrary.us Now, up is qualified with as soon as I get the new modem the rest of the content will be up and it'll look just like you remember it.

Yeah, see the previous post on that.

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The BookWorm

Waiting, waiting, waiting

Well, I got the "we shipped your order" email from CDW today. Which means that the earlier email that I was basing my "when the modem will be here" expectations on was just an order confirmation and threw me off track.

Bought domain names and sever space to bring the Library back up. Looking over my backup CD, and looks like I have a few odds and ends mostly in the hotlinking folder that could be lost. Unless I did a smart thing and kept those items in the hotlinking folder on my harddrive. ... ... Yeah, I'm not holding out much hope for that either. Now I'm just waiting for the server to send me an email giving me the instructions to change the info on my domain name before telling the world--or at least the small portion that cares--what the new domain name is.

Paid all my bills except for the credit card. That payment depends on the home improvements shopping that must be done this weekend.

Still no email from server people. Still no modem. Still no shopping.

Did I mention I hate waiting?

---

In other news, Chad made some news. http://renstore.com/Katrina.asp He gets a mention, while the owners get pictures. Okay it's hard to see Alvon on the backhoe. And the piles of dirt were not left by Katrina, but the trees on top of the dirt were. If you've got issues giving to the Red Cross--and we've got horror stories about how they treat the donations other than cash--you can give to LRF Katrina Relief Fund and it will go to people who need it.

Thursday night class... *glassy-eyed stare* I have notes, they'll probably go up after I recover. When I recover?

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The BookWorm

Writer's Pique Continued

Mid-project blues? Probably a portion of the feeling. I don't remember feeling it this often though. Maybe less projects? Less demands on time? I keep getting the urge to make lists. But I've already gone through my stories and made my assignment list for them. (Okay, I do have to FIND the list, but I know it's in the paper basket in the living room.) So where did I flub this time? Because I flubbed somewhere in my plans and it's not Katrina's fault.

I never got my research done on markets, so I never did my grand mailout. Hence I've been stuck. I also don't like how the clutter is... well... cluttering. Bad chi everywhere. So I need to clean, cleanse, read, mail, and write.

And no time is hardly a valid excuse. I find plenty of time to waste. Right now is slow at work and I'm not taking advantage of it. Just like the exercising.

All right, enough of the self-bashing. I'm going to do those things. But first I have a paying obligation to finish the resource guide and then a non-paying obligation.

Still my observation for this morning is why do I torture myself with lists of good intentions that I can never finish? Yesterday, I made a 9 item list and got hung up with item one--shopping for necessities--for an hour longer than I expected. 30 minutes of it actually spent in the checkout line for two items but hell, that was all it took to wipe out the rest of my energy. Class tonight, so it's shot too. Friday I have to myself, maybe I can seen some progress.

And hopefully my new modem will be delivered and I can put my office back together too. Meanwhile I've killed a notebook and need to transfer stuff from it and get to work on the resource guide. And find a snack, I forgot breakfast today.

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The BookWorm

Writer's Fit

Or maybe I should call it Writer's Tantrum. Whatever to call it, it's that overwhelming urge to shove everything off your desk and start from scratch with something new. I've been feeling it bad the last two days, but have restrained myself. Mostly because I can't find any unfinished stories on my desk (it's filled with book piles right this second) and because I come home too exhausted to throw anything no matter how much it would refresh the child within. It's also stemming from frustration and I figure the frustration actually has a different source, I just haven't found it yet. Though I think the frustration mostly boils down to not wanting to be in Baton Rouge when there is so much ___________ (fill-in-the-blank) to do at home. Maybe it should be Writer's Pique.

Other news, the Webcomics Hurricane Relief Telethon is on day 2 and going strong at $21,880. Drop in and give and read through the comics. A new comic is added every 20 minutes. And it was originally going to be one day (yesterday), but the comics given to participate extended it till Sept. 15. David Willis's (It's Walky) entry is a hoot. Jamie Robertson's (Clan of Cats) 2cd entry is poignant.

Eye of the Storm is reporting from Mississippi, which got the direct hit from the eye of Katrina. That's right folks, New Orleans got a glancing blow that could have been even worse. He's taking pictures of landmarks I know. One of the first family vacations I can remember was down to Ships Island.

So in my quest to remain thankful for what I have--I am thankful that I still have bills to pay because it means I have the things to pay bills on. Now off to actually pay them. :p

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The BookWorm

ENGL-575 Lecture Notes for Sept. 12

I hate arriving late at class. Yesterday, I was 30 minutes late and surprised it wasn't more. I've already told my professors of my circumstances, and it is none of the other students' business. But they all give me that "who the hell are you look" which makes me grab the first seat available. Why is that one the one right in front of the door in the front row?

I don't know how long I can keep this schedule up either. I'm not getting enough sleep, and now I'm trying to leave the house around 5:30am. It ended up being 5:45 this morning and I got to work at 6:40am. But when I left at 6am yesterday, I just barely got to work on time.

The rest of this post is me trying to make sense of my lecture notes. Feel free to skip it. I tried talking out loud about it, and Chad thought we were having an actual discussion about literature and literary theory. Threatening to enroll him in the class finally stopped that last night. So this is my second attempt.

Barthes

One theory is creator/slueth. Author = producer of text, the creator. Reader = consumer of text, the slueth.

Barthes view point: think about the work as a text and use the signifiers to interact and create meaning.

Text without an author, read the text and produce a different experience of the text (each and every time read). Barthes was writing about hypertext literature before hypertext.

Trying to liberate literature from decrypting.

Critics - looking for the author's hidden meaning.

What happens to the critics's purpose when all your looking at is just the text?
1). Look at themselves and their reading experience.
2). Differen set of skills put into analysis.
3). All readers become critics and the difference between writers and critics disappears.
4). Frees criticism to become creative.

We get meaning for the content of the story.
Barthes - look for meaning in the sounds of the words. Text is open to the context of the reader's life. Reader produces the text; text produces the reader.

Aethestic view
Judeo-Christian - applies meta-physical concepts to text, Barthes says there's nothing beyond the text.

Structuralism - what is language?
A word has meaning because it says it's not another word.
Closed system

Barthes interested in how words interplay with each other.

How can you communicate when communication depends on common definitions?

We have all internalizied the system of language.

Model of lit. studies = production of knowledge.

I can produce the pleasure of the text and share that and create a text to explain it which can be read by someone else who can create their own response.

Theory produces knowledge but destroys the simple pleasure of reading. Barthes proposes that this theory kills that joy. How do we open up criticism to play?

We move away from the idea of "the work" we're moving away from hierarchy to democracy.

Bakhtin

When reading, we look for the voice of the author either as a narrator or as a character - putting the author in control. Bakhtin suggests that it's crazy to look for that.

Different tongues - heteroglossia, different voices.

Bakhtin's theory is a more abstract theory, but well practiced since he had to curtail language to save his own head.

Language supporting the status quo = normative language
Language is open ended

Poetry strives for a unitarian/monological language.
Novel allows the non-normative language or subsets of language to be embraced and orchestrated.

Social role of poetry = establish and enshrine the language and values of the ruling class.
Social role of the novel = embraces variety of language and competing world views and gives us a picture of a certain moment of time.

Tolstoy awareness of response, aware of the compteing world view and the response it will have on the reader. All these bits of lnaguage are in conversation with each other and yor response as a reader.

Looking for the historical background and world view behind the writing of the novel including political and socio-economical moments. Read a novel to find the conflicts behind it and the way any part of the novel is a response to it.

Barthes - just have fun with the text

Dickens
The idea of a gentleman - born or made?
The new order that is coming, is it good or bad?

Dickens's style is the way he combines all the languages to create his novel.

When I make an assumption about the text, I'm making a counter-assumption at the same time, so my assumption is shaped by the counter-assumption.

dialectic
monoletic
heteroglossia
carnivalesque

Bakhtin in the era of globalization?

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The BookWorm

ENGL-575 Reading Notes Post 1

Bakhtin

• carnivalesque - forms of unofficial culture that resist official culture, political oppression, and tolalitarian order through laughter, parody, and "grotesque realism"


• chronotope - the intrinsic connectedness of time and space and their central role in constituting literary genres


• dialogism of language - the "intense interanimation and struggle between one's own and another's word"

Living language exhibits heteroglossia (described the "internal stratification" of language: the interplay among its social dialects, class dialects, professional jargons, languages of generations and age groups and of passing fads)

It celebrates the multiplicity of all those "centrifugal" forces at work in language, the variety of social speech types and the diversity of voices interacting with one another.

Treatment of the novel was limited to little more than abstract ideological examination and publicistic commentary.

Sept. 13, 2005: Maybe I would like all of this a whole lot better if I could figure out how to apply it to make me a better writer.

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The BookWorm

Home Again

Hammond is fully operational, though having an Army base on our little league soccer field is a little surreal. So I'm back at my house, but will probably have to leave home a half-hour earlier to make it through the traffic. *Whimper*

Finally a Yankee who gets it, Barack Obama of Illinois. http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/09/11/katrina.washington.ap/index.html I especially like his quote on SUVs.

My last comments on Laurie King's blog. It's not fair to take it out on those who are in no position to change policy. Never forget, but it's time to focus on making things better.

I still haven't really unpacked or hooked in my computer. I did order a modem, which should be delivered sometime this week. Once that's in I can start working from home again on everything. Of course I fell down on getting any school work done. But hey, our professors had to evacuate too. I'll just have to spend some time doing catch up, homework and writing wise.

Ugh, computer gets plugged in tonight after class. Now I have to start reading assignments.

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The BookWorm

Traffic nightmares

My friend Jamie Haeuser from the Renaissiance Festival has started a blog on Katrina stories: Katrine Hospital Reports. She's a bigwig (a Vice President of something, I think but can't confirm off the top of my fuzzy memory) at Women's Hospital in Baton Rouge (where I was born 28 years ago) and they've been saving the babies and moms out of New Orleans.

My friend Marcie found this great peice of animation that explains a lot of frustration we feel towards the media. Be warned, the squirrel doesn't bleep.

And now we got another Yankee asshole: U.S. Congressman Rapes Louisiana’s Reputation Over U.S. Katrina Fund.

*Sigh* A nice post overall from Laurie King, but now the whole country is using the wrong word to describe evacuees. Hmm, so should a portion of our relief funds go to buying journalists dictionaries? Yes, I did correct it because I'm anal that way. But tithing should be essential no matter what your religious creed. Suze Orman spoke about it as well. We all have a responsibility to give. I'm guilty of forgetting to, and will be balancing my checkbook to see what I can do.

Well in good news, I started this post worried that I would have to fight horrendous traffic to get to the starting classes at SLU today. I've got word now that the Thursday night's professor is still out of town and I don't have to go. Next week is still up in the air. Though I'm hoping that the situation in Baton Rouge will be better. Things have calmed down in Lafayette--at least on a personal level--though I didn't get to write last night due to running around checking on aid, I did get a little bit accomplished during lunch. Hopefully I'll get a little bit more accomplished today.

I have to call home and make doubly sure that they don't need anything from me tonight. I feel guilty about Mustard. I'm sure he's not happy and probably feels that I have abandoned him. But him being at home is much better on all the cats, him included.

Even in the midst of this drama, my life is still pretty tame. Sad really, but in a good way.

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The BookWorm

Safe and Sound

September 6, 2005: For those who haven't been reading up comments made to the last posts, this is a bit of an update. I left Natchitoches to stay with my boyfriend and his mother in Lafayette. Electricity has been restored to my house and it never got blown away. Nothing landed on it either, though I did lose some big branches. Possibly some trees in my woods, but I'm not going back to look until December. Snakes, need I say more?

However the gasoline is necessary for me to get back and forth. Hammond is the last stop for the harder hit areas further east. So the stores that have it are rationing it. Baton Rouge is limited due to all the people using it. So I'm still in Lafayette.

September 7, 2005: I didn't realize how long I was staying quiet. It's hard to pull the computer away--my boyfriend in particular--plus with the flux in usability, it was easier just to stay out of the way. Sorry if I alarmed you unneccessarily.

University classes resume on Thursday, and I'll have to sleep at my house tomorrow and see how things are. I talked to my mother on the phone and she says things are looking better. Ponchatoula is nearly impossible to navigate with people trying to go back to New Orleans area. Hammond is more energizied, and news says there is at least three companies relocating to the city. Pumpkin Center is still 90% without power, but we're rural. That's going to take a while.

I don't think staying in Lafayette going to be long term, but I can't really plan until more gas stations are up and I see what the price is going to be. Over $3 dollars a gallon is going to hurt hard when I have 10 gallon fuel tank in my car and empty it in two days of normal traffic driving. And since a good portion of the population has shifted west, traffic is a far cry from normal. Baton Rouge is hurting. The Road infrustucture couldn't handle the previous local traffic and the city now has somewhere from 800,000 to 1 million. Previously 400,000 b.k. (Before Katrina. Thought about going with Before Storm but those initials are already in use.)

Do You Know What It Means to Lose New Orleans by Anne Rice, the op-ed peice published in the New York Times. We will come back from this. Some things will change but some things never will. And the things that never will are parts of the souls of us crazy people known as South Louisianians.

This article was written by Chris Rose and sent via email.

Dear America,

I suppose we should introduce ourselves: We're South Louisiana.

We have arrived on your doorstep on short notice and we apologize for
that, but we never were much for waiting around for invitations.
We're not much on formalities like that.

And we might be staying around your town for a while, enrolling in
your schools and looking for jobs, so we wanted to tell you a few
things about us. We know you didn't ask for this and neither did we,
so we're just going to have to make the best of it.

First of all, we thank you. For your money, your water, your food,
your prayers, your boats and buses and the men and women of your
National Guards, fire departments, hospitals and everyone else who
has come to our rescue.

We're a fiercely proud and independent people, and we don't cotton
much to outside interference, but we're not ashamed to accept help
when we need it. And right now, we need it.

Just don't get carried away. For instance, once we get around to
fishing again, don't try to tell us what kind of lures work best in
your waters.

We're not going to listen. We're stubborn that way.

You probably already know that we talk funny and listen to strange
music and eat things you'd probably hire an exterminator to get out
of your yard.

We dance even if there's no radio. We drink at funerals. We talk too
much and laugh too loud and live too large and, frankly, we're
suspicious of others who don't.

But we'll try not to judge you while we're in your town.

Everybody loves their home, we know that. But we love South Louisiana
with a ferocity that borders on the pathological. Sometimes we bury
our dead in LSU sweatshirts.

Often we don't make sense. You may wonder why, for instance - if we
could only carry one small bag of belongings with us on our journey
to your state - why in God's name did we bring a pair of shrimp boots?

We can't really explain that. It is what it is.

You've probably heard that many of us stayed behind. As bad as it is,
many of us cannot fathom a life outside of our border, out in that
place we call Elsewhere.

The only way you could understand that is if you have been there, and
so many of you have. So you realize that when you strip away all the
craziness and bars and parades and music and architecture and all
that hooey, really, the best thing about where we come from is us.

We are what made this place a national treasure. We're good people.
And don't be afraid to ask us how to pronounce our names. It happens
all the time.

When you meet us now and you look into our eyes, you will see the
saddest story ever told. Our hearts are broken into a thousand pieces.

But don't pity us. We're gonna make it. We're resilient. After all,
we've been rooting for the Saints for 35 years. That's got to count
for something.

OK, maybe something else you should know is that we make jokes at
inappropriate times.

But what the hell.

And one more thing: In our part of the country, we're used to having
visitors. It's our way of life.

So when all this is over and we move back home, we will repay to you
the hospitality and generosity of spirit you offer to us in this
season of our despair.

That is our promise. That is our faith.

Well said, brother. Well, said.

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The BookWorm

ENGL-611 Donne's poetry notes

Sept. 13, 2005: I love back dating stuff. I just wish the notes made better sense.

I tried to do homework while on the run from Katrina. I was less than successful.

The Good-Morrow
Passionate love
Life began with discovery of love

Song
A list of impossible tasks ending with if one could do all these strange things and tell about them, you would still have to swear that nowhere lives a woman true or fair.

The third stanza seems to say that the writer would manage to make a true and fair woman false with a visit.

Assuming fair = pretty and true = faithful, the narrator is still very conceited about his seducing capabilities.

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The BookWorm

Notes by Hand

I took these notes for my blog, since I still haven't gotten my DSL set up. I got the equipment and instructions from Bello South Friday, but I'm still missing a DSL modem. Well that's an issue that will have to wait till I get back. I'm typing these notes and additional ones for the daylight hours at my sister Krista's apartment in Natchitoches.

Friday had something more important, Hurricane Katrina entered the Gulf of Mexico. http://www.weather.com/maps/news/atlstorm12/stormtrack_large.html They were expecting it to hit the Florida panhandle when I left work.

By the time I reached Chad, he was twitchy and Katrina had shifted to the Mississippi/Alabama border. CHad never gets twitchy over hurricanes. He follows all the technical discussions of the National Hurricane Center. He explained that the prediction models are all over the place. But Katrina was only moving at 7 miles per hour and still a small hurricane, so we went to the movies and out to eat.

Saturday morning, we woke up early. There was too much to do. Katrina's projected path had changed too--a direct hit to New Orleans and she was now a category 3. Chad's mother called him in a panic. Her boy had to come home to Lafayette. The western edge of the projection cone was reaching Lafayette, so I can't blame her too much but it sure derailed my plans. We did the banking and I dropped Chad off at site and picked up what of Chad's belongings I'm sheltering. I got the car serviced once I reached the shop behind the gas station. That took a few hours, but I finally got home.

My parents weren't too worried about evacuating; we're on high ground a ways from New Orleans. I was too edgy to write, so I've been listening to the emergency radio and cleaning.

I got the laundry finished, the dishes washed, the kitchen counters and stove cleaned, and the back porch tidied.

Midnight--The head of the National Hurricane Center called the mayor of New Orleans and said Katrina is the storm we've been warned about every hurricane season, the worst case scenerio for New Orleans. They haven't declared a mandatory evacuation for Orleans Parish--which is pretty much the entire metro area of New Orleans.

Katrina is supposed to make landfall Monday. I don't know if we'll get out or not. I've got my clothes packed. I'd need to pack some more supplies and Mustard, but at least the car is ready to go. I'm going to wait for the one a.m. update and then go to bed. We won't be going anywhere until daylight.

12:44 a.m.--Katrina is now a Category 4, 145 miles per hour. She's on level with Andrew and Camille. Making my list of everything to pack tomorrow.

6:00 a.m.--Wake up. Katrina now a Category 5 and her path hasn't changed. I finished cleaning and start on the list I made before bed. After I get dressed and have a lot ready, I went and talked to my parents and see what it was looking like on TV. I decided to get out. My parents were still undecided.

9:30 a.m.--Rough estimate. The mayor of New Orleans issued a mandatory evacuation for Orleans parish. The first time in the city's history that has ever happened.

10:00 a.m.--Car is packed and I'm on the road to my sister's in Natchitoches. I decided to stay off the interstate system, go north up US 51, west on La. 10, go north on US 61 to Natchez, Mississippi, then go west to Alexandria. Once at Alexandria, I-49 straight to Natchitoches. Good thing about this route: I never stopped moving. Bad thing about this route: it took forever. Under normal conditions, it takes 3 and a half hours to get from Pumpkin Center to Natchitoches.

3:45 p.m.--Finally reach Alexandria. Decided to pull over, get some items at Pets' Mart and hopefully let Mustard out of his carrier for a while. He refused to come out. I think it was the tile, he must have thought it was the vet's.

5:00 p.m.--Finally reach Natchitoches. Mustard hates my sister's pets and is currently back in his carrier so he won't destroy the bathroom he's locked in. If this abnormal behavior keeps up tomorrow, he's going to the vet. Trying to get out of the bathroom or get the other animals through the bathroom door I can understand, but he's also trying to get his own tail and that's something he doesn't do.

It's now 7:30 p.m. Can't reach my parents but Chad tells me Tangipahoa parish is now under evacuation orders too. Mom said they'd be going to her aunt in Natchez, but I don't have her number. We've had supper. Mustard seems to have calmed down a little. I'm probably going to curl up with homework or the resource guide that I haven't had time to work on yet.

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The BookWorm

A brief break

Yeah, I'm supposed to be working on the Resource Guide during this quiet time, but I have to put this link down. Laurie R. King--Mutterings URL: http://laurierking.blogspot.com/

For those that don't know, I'm obsessed with her Sherlock Holmes/Mary Russell series. She has created a human Holmes without making him any less Holmes. Having been watching some wretched Hollywood rewrites of the Doyle canon on the classic Mystery movies DVD set I got, I like her Holmes heaps better. Her Watson too. And the last book of the series had Dashiell Hammett as a character. Now I need to read "Dead Yellow Woman" apparantly there is an in-joke.

But finding that she has started a blog has given me hope that maybe, someday, there will be more readers here for me to bore or dazzle with trivialities. Often days, I think there's more boredom than anything else.

*Shrug* Websnark is already taken though, and he does a fine job. I need a place to vent. And I'm not interested in becoming a reporter blogger. A book deal would be nice, but well, *sigh*.... It's really for the best not to continue that thought. Going back to the Resource Guide.

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The BookWorm

Resistence in this case IS futile

Remember a post a few months back where I did a lousy job explaining resistence? You can go look this should still be here.

Resistence is that balking whenever you start something new. Change is bad, I won't like this, the teacher's a doody-head.

My second semester of graduate studies started Monday. Monday night's class is Introduction to Contemporary Criticism. And I can feel resistence throwing itself around me. I do have some legitiment gripes. There's a crapload of reading and the order wasn't given to the bookstore. The professor is pushing to order them online and save money, only I budgeted and put the money into a school only account that works at the bookstore.

The resistence is I have to have this class for the program, but I think academic criticism is a bunch of hooey that distracts from the actual enjoyment of the text. Which in no way will enable me to pass this class.

And the literature class on Thursday will end up being poetry. Bleah. 17th Century poetry, I shouldn't get tripped up on lesbian love metaphors this time. Yes, there is scarring connected with that statement and I'm not going to explain it.

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The BookWorm

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: A Critical Review

First, I don't think I've done something like this for the blog before. I usually just blather happily and heartily recommend the experience: book or movie. Or heartily don't recommend the experience. But I'm inspired to take it a little deeper this time, especially since as a publishing phenomena one should study Rowling.

Second, I do like the series but I'm not obessed with the series. I have other obsessions *wink*. Seriously, I have no desire to write fanfiction of it, don't want to marry any of the characters--Alan Rickman and Gary Oldman not withstanding--it's just plain fun.

Third, there will be spoilers. If you really hate them, check out this op-ed on the state of American comics instead: http://www.tcj.com/269/e_own1.html.

Initial observations: I finished the book in one day, before my typical bedtime. Read it faster than I have wrote this blog, actually. It is a much leaner book as other critics have said. Rowling has complained about "Goblet" needing editing, but I found "Pheonix" needed it more. I got lost in the big climatic battle between Dumbledore's Army and the Death Eaters which results in Siris's death. Those scenes should have been the clearest.

I also cheated by listening on the fandom's yelling. Whatever evils the fundamentals lay at Harry Potter's feet, having bad mannered fans isn't one of them. I didn't see any flame wars, though the hate mail might be directed right at Rowling. Course, I also stopped looking after a while. If the fans aren't behaving now... *shrug*. So I knew what the book was going to end with, just not how we got there.

Since the book was tighter, it's climax built steadily into one punch, followed by a second one: the murder of Dumbledore by Snape and Snape's defection to the Death Eaters. Granted some readers are making the two events one and the same, but I separate them because of Harry and Snape's interaction.

Now focusing on what we know. Rowling often uses a first chapter to show things in the enemy's camp while the rest of the book is from Harry's POV. In "Goblet of Fire," we saw Voldemort, Wormtail and Voldemort's pet snake kill a Muggle. I don't have a copy of "Order of the Pheonix" to check. In "Prince" we follow Draco's mother and aunt to Snape's house. Draco's mother and Snape go under the Unbreakable Vow with the sole purpose of Snape helping or doing whatever Voldemort has ordered of Draco, whichever came first to keep Draco alive. You get the feeling that Draco is being set up for a suicide run, especially the way his mother is carrying on.

We also learn that Snape has accounted himself to Voldemort and Voldemort is using him as a double agent. Well that's what Dumbledore is using him for, so the real question becomes which side is Snape truly on? A question compounded by the fact that Dumbledore refuses to say why he believes Snape's repenting after Voldemort's fall was genuine. He refuses to tell Harry and the other members of the Order of the Pheonix and fellow teachers like McGongall.

At that chapter, readers are not told what task Draco has been given. His mother and aunt are convinced it will be the death of him. There's no guarantee that Snape will succeed, but it would be closer to a fair fight. And after taking the Unbreakable Vow, if Snape doesn't fulfill his end, the spell will kill him. So why take it? Possibly Snape does like Draco, as much as he can like anyone. Equally possible is it gives Draco's aunt--who really doesn't trust Snape as a Death Eater and thinks he's tricking Voldemort--a damn he's gonna do it tale for the rest of the Death Eaters.

From there, Harry's story unfolds: the school work, the romances, the Quidditch, lessons with Dumbledore exploring Voldemort's past, and Harry's obsession with what Draco is plotting. Harry finds a potions textbook that had notes written in it from someone calling himself the Half-Blood Prince. The altered spells earn him wows from the new Potions master, but alarm Hermoine. She thinks its A) cheating and B) something's wrong with anyone hiding behind titles and creating increasingly nasty jinxes and hexes. She has a point, after all Tom Riddle did the same to become Lord Voldemort. Levicorpus is rather harmless, Harry accidently uses it to pull Ron up into the air by one leg. Lupin says that hex was a popular one while his generation was in school, and in "Pheonix" the readers and Harry saw Snape's memory of being jerked around like that by James Potter, Siris Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew with Lily as a witness. Sectumsempra almost killed Draco, saved by Snape, and unnerves Harry enough to stop trusting the book.

Slughorn, the new Potions professor, taught Lily Evans, Harry's mother, and was constantly amazed by her talents. Snape finally gets the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, which Harry discovers was cursed since Dumbledore refused to give it to Voldemort years ago. The curse still holds by the end of "Prince" as well.

No one really believes Harry's theory that Draco is a Death Eater, even when events look bad. A cursed necklace injures a student and Ron is poisoned by a bottle of mead intended for someone else. Harry overhears an argument between Draco and Snape. Snape keeps insisting that Draco let him help, but Draco refuses saying Snape wants all the glory.

Dumbledore refuses to explain his faith in Snape to Harry numerous times. Hagrid reports overhearing an argument between Snape and Dumbledore. Hagrid didn't know what about, but heard Snape saying Dumbledore takes too much for granted and maybe he doesn't want to do it any more. Dumbledore said to Snape he had agreed to do it and that was all ther was to it. Also Dumbledore said something about Snape making investigations in his house, in Slytherin. The almost last straw for Harry is Professor Trelawney's drunken revelation that Snape overheard the prophecy about Voldemort and the one who would defeat him given to Dumbledore. Harry concludes correctly that Snape told Voldemort what he had overheard of the prophecy and pretty much set-up his parents to be murdered. As if Harry needs another reason to hate Snape.

But Dumbledore's affirmation of Snape needs a closer study. ADD QUOTE HERE

It was the stressing that Lily had a chance to walk away but love wouldn't let her that got my attention. For a while I thought that we were getting a new version of the attack on Harry. Reviewing the "Prisoner of Akazban" showed that I was in error. It's not shown on the movie very well, but when the Dementors make Harry relive his memory of the attack, he recalls his mother's pleas with Voldemort.

Now why would Lily, a Muggle born witch, the very thing Voldemort hates as much as he hates what he is--a wizard from a witch and a Muggle--be given a chance to walk away from interfering in Voldemort killing Harry? James, a pure blooded wizard wasn't given that opportunity.


To help with my analysis: http://blogs.salon.com/0001092/stories/2003/06/24/harryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenixChapter28.html

http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/harrypotter5/section11.rhtml

http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/harrypotter5/section10.rhtml



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The BookWorm

Can't please them all

Well either it's very slow net time right now or everybody hates the comment feature I switched to.

Not much to report on this homefront. Classes start next Monday. Mustard tried to slice off my finger yesterday and it still hurts. Hard to type too without a middle finger.

The bike riding while typing hasn't resulted in any attrocities to the documents. I haven't managed to get a steady schedule going yet. Working on thirty minutes a day, but something usually comes up. And it always does. If I could haul my butt out of bed while it's still dark outside, I'd have more time. But I'd also be more sleep deprived. *Sigh* I have to find time somewhere.

Resource Guide work will be reaching a stopping point very soon. And I have to give a presentation on it for the workshop. Yeah, okay. I guess this means I have to stop referring to it as the "bloody Resource Guide." But honestly, what am I supposed to say? "Hi, I wrote this. Please read it and use it in your classrooms. Thank you." That's not going to last an hour!

So I have some free time at work. And a new short story idea to use it on. Let me get some work work done.

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The BookWorm

Getting in school

SLU has a streamlined process, made better by strategic planning.

Northwestern--where I earned my bachaelor's--moved all needed departments into the basketball collasieum and then you had to spend the day going around it trying to get everything straight.

Southeastern used to do that. According to our office's student workers, Southern still does that. Don't have a report for LSU. Southeastern had bought a closed elementary school adjacent to their property in Hammond. A little remodeling and Admissions, Financial Aid, Controller's, Human Resources, Textbook Rentals, and some Athletics and classes moved in. So when it's time for registration, you go argue with Financial Aid if you need to or go straight to the Controllers. The Campus Police for parking decals and Student I.D.s set up in a couple of classrooms to handle the rush, and then move back to their offices where only emergencies need to find them. Very efficient.

Now if I could only remember to bring my vehicle registration with me so I don't have to go back to the car. :p

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The BookWorm

Horror Doesn't Scare Me

I speaking of the genre here, which makes me wonder if maybe I'm lacking something that makes me effective writer of it.

I just finished up two books by James Herbert "Haunted" and "Ghosts of Sleath." Both are about David Ash, a repressed psychic who is incredible at exposing supernatural frauds but is woefully unprepared for the real deal. The bio blurb called Herbert "Britian's Stephen King." I enjoyed the books, quick, easy reads with a good build up to solid POWS at the end. I'm going to try to watch the movie based on Haunted soon. (I'm prepared, I already found out it has nothing to do with the book and "The Others" actually made a better film of the same theme.)

But I realized after reading these books and after my coworkers talked about horror movies that gave them nightmares, I don't get nightmares from the genre. I don't like the gore fests that the 80s spawned with teen slashers. I'm not completely freaked by Stephen King. Lovecraft can give me the crawlies, but it depends on his word choices. Poe I do get crawlies all over my skin from, but no nightmares.

So looking at what I have written that qualifies as horror: "The Bloody Hand", "Dreams of the Dead", "Elizabeth's Oak", and "Night Storm"--what is missing from the scary equation? Night Storm is a vampire but he wants to be a superhero, so it's a different genre. "The Bloody Hand" was based on a nightmare but the dread factor seems flat.

Herbert and King can make you dread what's coming up. Herbert was very good at that in "Ghosts of Sleath."

Maybe it just goes back to I don't get the everlasting scare out of it.

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The BookWorm

Making changes

Well I just discovered that Haloscan has been purging back comments. It's a problem that doesn't exist with Alt. BM Site, so I'm guessing it must have something to do with the Javascript for blogging. So I activated the built-in comment feature.

Yes, I have gone through and moved what Haloscan comments I still had. I don't forsee any problems with non-Blogger people posting comments. Now I just need to tweak the look a little. If I can.

Okay, I got it tweaked. I think it looks better this way. And hopefully nothing is going to go poof again. Now on to what I meant to talk about today.

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The BookWorm

Bike experiment a sucess

Well, I rode for around thirty minutes while typing on the resource guide. My legs started to burn, but family stuff conspired to keep me from writing any longer.

But other than having to remember what the Ctrl commands are, I did pretty well.

In other news, trying to finish up all the library books and not check out any more. Have to read for classes.

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The BookWorm

Less than a month to go

School starts August 22. Resource Guide needs to be finished by the first of September.

So the weekend really started the get off your butt and get things finished drive.

Got the duct-tape dummy finished (See the Garb Closet) and got my exercise bike set up where I can type and pedal at the same time. I'll have to get a photo of that. Scary thing, the stationary bike takes up less room than the big black office chair I had. Got fabric bought for the Granaile garb (see the Garb Closet).

Tonight I have to put in some serious time on writing and dishes. Always the dishes. I'm buying a dishwasher after student aid allotments are made.

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The BookWorm

Cleaning out a trashed notebook

The spine of the notebook is bent into two different directions, impossible to turn pages and impossible to straighten. So here's the notes I want to keep.

BMFM Songs
Running Blind - Days of the New (?)
Smile Empty Soul
"Love of a Lifetime" - Firehouse
"Feeling Too Damn Good" - Nickleback

Column Ideas
Building a Pirate Crew
Time Traveling - what the heck did I mean by that RenFaire Experience?
Ageism - wrote that one

Subjects for Useless Knowledge
1) Are we having fun? - what did I mean?

Need for Zy's Novel Evolutionary details on:
Mylte
Xeryl
Murdock
Qauts

Writing Tutorials
1) Need more Editing Lessons topics
A) Consult Write Faster, Self-Editing, No More Rejections
2)Grammar Guide
A) Start going through parts of speech
3) Writing Tutorials
A) No shortage there I think but go with No More Rejections

Image Exercise

Green of the trees is always more vivid against storm clouds. It's something I noticed as a child--since Louisiana horizons always provide a green horizon and a rolling black ceiling, especially on a summer afternoon. I never understood why the painters we would watch on PBS always painted mountains when the pregnant lull before the percepitation punctuated with graceful lightening strikes was so more dramatic. The oppression of the air only broken by throbbing thunder. The brief plunge of...

New opening for "Lights"

She han't said yes to getting killed tonight.

WT: Finishing What You Start

Use the quote from the screen writing for Dummies. (Trying really hard not to laugh at this topic since I have so much uncompeleted.)

Jason and Sal
"Run" by Snow Patrol (have revised this idea to be a music video, someday)

Books I Want
Will in the World by Stephen Greenblatt

Comic Goodness to buy
Exploitation Now
It's Roomies
CRFH
Gaming Guardians
Fans

Interesting names
Willis Williams

End of the notebook. Thanks for dropping in.

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The BookWorm

Interesting perdictament

Needed: 1 archival CD copy of everything that is on Alt. Biker Mice Site right now since things are getting a minor upheavel July 31st. So if the minor upheavel doesn't go over well, I have the old style to go back to.

Problem: No Internet access at home.

Solution: Get it at work.

Problem: No way to get the files off the web control panel.

Solution: They actually gave us WS_FTP, which I didn't find until after I started this blog. *Crossing fingers.*

Problem: FTP program works. I cannot fit the info onto the CD. Which doesn't make any sense because I can at home with the Nero CD burning program. This is the third CD I've lost because the data screwed it up.

Solution: Borrow the C drive until I can get files downloaded and zipped and then on a CD.

Problem: Now the FTP program went kuput. Looks like I got most of what I told it to get. So all I'm missing is a section of From Mars and the FanFic and FanArt sections.

Solution: Try again. After some lawsuits.

Okay. After throwing away the 5th CD for getting errors in the writing (maybe I bought a bad batch, or at least an incompatible batch), I switched CDs and finally got it to save. SUCCESS!

However, I'm not deleting anything until I see if it works at home.

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The BookWorm

Best laid plans of...

So which am I, mouse or man? (Man as a stand in for humanity, of course.) This isn't a whine, at least I'm trying to keep myself from flinging full body into the self-starring drama a whine perpetrates. I want to focus my brain instead of jumping willy-nilly. Besides, whining always makes you feel worse about a situation.

The situation: Last night, I pulled most of my various office piles back into the office for later sorting and then settled to find what I considered worthy to mail out. The great-everything-goes mail out has to be delayed due to lack of funds for postage, but I would have everything ready by payday.

I listed ten stories (8 short stories, 1 script, and one the idea for Night Storm). Only two of the ten are ready to mail--as in I can't conceive of changing the story at all. As for the rest, some have been worked on and the rest need something badly.

More often than not, the true story is found in the editing. I know this, and I'm okay with it. What concerns me is the rewrites of material from the last decade. Am I doing it to the detriment of writing anything new? Not to even mention the 18 things on the writing burner. Gah, it's no wonder I've felt guilty about the little down time at the paying job that has been spenting reading.

And I'm not trying to buy into the busy drug. Most likely, I'm reading too much into this. Easiest solution is to dive into the story folder and find something that seizes my fancy, start working on it slow and steady, while working projects off my list.

I'm always preaching about finishing what you started and not let yourself get distracted by the muse. Am I just trying to justify a distraction? Does it really matter with an itching need to write instead of editing? And not writing nonfiction like the resource guide.

I'm off to find an idea I can percolate. Next will be doing my mailing homework. I need 40 potential markets for the types of stories I write and know them well. I like the idea in Page After Page to dedicate a day of the week for marketing endeavors. Marketing Monday then.

Having reviewed Page After Page, I've probably wasted my time worrying about it. Concentrate on the writing, not on the publishing. But it's also a matter of being fresh and true and growing as a writer. Which I won't do unless I get some new material.

Regardless, I will be concentrating more on fiction.

P.S. Does Night Storm really work as a superhero name?

P.S.S. To Jazz and any other Brits that stumble upon this blog: We Are Not Afraid.

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The BookWorm

Fast update

Website down till August or September.

Home internet down till next paycheck--August or September at latest.

Furniture in home office moved and I'm almost back to be able to work there again.

Yes, I'm happy and fine, just a little crunched at jobs right now.

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The BookWorm

Crazy days

I guess T is having a good time. She hasn't said any differently in her livejournal. I'm guessing Red and Jazzy are both really busy.

And I'm actually typing this entry from home. Miracle of miracles. Foxy, I'm downloading the program now. I skipped exercising to come home and mop up sheetrock residue.

Let's see, I'm skipping over the paying job insanity. I don't want to think about that. Saturday was Chad and gang work on roof over the fire hearth while I worked on the Resource Guide in the office. Even though I was in air conditioning, I still got over heated and sick.

Sunday was house chores and sewing day. We went to Kenn and Amy's again this time armed with my speghetti. If you're looking for a whole wheat noodle, use Brallia's. So I have the first half of the dummy done, and need to stuff her and mount her.

Monday was USA Independence Day in more than one way. Mom cooked and me and Chad tore out a wall in my house. My house was built in 1919 as a four room Acadian cottage with a front and back porch and a dogtrot to the detatched kitchen. It was actually my great-great-grandparents' retirement home. Over the years, two more rooms were added to the back (making the kitchen and my infamous back bedroom), and the rooms in the middle where partioned with sheetrock and paneling walls.

Me and my mother were of the opinion that the wall creating a hall between the kitchen and living room needed to go. When I moved in August 2000, we were out-voted. Now I own it and use the tiny room space as an office. And suffered with lack of space issues. No longer. :D

Really with the furniture I have, I'll be using the same amount of floor space. But without the wall I don't feel trapped and the cold air from the window unit has a chance to reach the rest of the house. I'm cramped right now because I can't move the furniture around till this weekend. I will probably start unpacking shelves tonight. Course I have online stuff to do too. *Sigh* Never ends.

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The BookWorm

Exhaustion

I don't know why this sleepiness hasn't left me yet. Anyways, since I forgot my exercise gear, I'm going home tonight and crashing.

I will need to work on the Resource Guide while at work, I suppose. Ugh, it's going to be a caffine dependent day.

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The BookWorm

Building a mystery

I didn't have a chance to get online last night. I was too tired and tried to work regardless. Mondays and Fridays, I'm always late because of my doctor's appointments and spending time in the library next door. *Innocent look* What?

I did get three laps done yesterday. No official step-age because I left the pedometer at home. Oops, it's probably a little over 6000.

And I've been researching on building my garden labyrinth. I need to remember to copy my survey map to use for garden layouts. Anywho, the intial idea was to use the Labyrinth as a sacred space as described in Walking a Sacred Path by Dr. Lauren Artress. I walked one three or four Yuletides back, and it moved me prfoundly.

When Chad and I walked Rosedown's gardens, we stumbled into the rose garden. INSERT PHOTO HERE I liked the seclusion, wanted to grow roses, generally a win-win.

Well I'm researching roses now, and appearantly they like lots of sun. Where in the yard I was considering putting it is surrounded by tall trees and I don't think it gets enough. *Pout*

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The BookWorm

Posting picturesfan pics to you

Appearantly I can again, but it will have to wait till I can get home for testing. That's where all the pics are.

Nope, still no pics. I'm not sure why.

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The BookWorm

This is annoying

I'm going to have to put my regularly visited sites URLs on the blog. My work profile isn't working, and I got logged into a temporary account. None of my favorites are here. I've found most of the comics but I'm missing some stuff.

*Sigh* My discipline flew out the window. I had pity on Chad and got him off the Faire site, but I didn't get home until 9:30pm. No writing time. He was apologetic once he found out, and I tried to explain the circle train of logic I had yesterday. I don't know if he understood it any better than I do.

I had a creative brainwave dealing with the hypertext novel, Night Storm: Forget the Sun. It hasn't been online in forever because I was unhappy with parts of it and needed to add more to it. Now I'm think of no longer making it hypertext but branching off into a new art form. Once I get the mail out sent ing July, then I'll start working on this idea.

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The BookWorm

What Am I Worth?

"The Law of Money: When you undervalue what you do, the world will undervalue who you are." From The Courage to Be Rich by Suze Orman.

I've been letting my mind fallow for a while, but it's time to start working at night when I think will be my only time for writing work.

The other inspiration is reading a professional seamstress's site and what it took her to create a home business. (See the Garb Closet for the sewing stuff that led me to that site.) Another side effect of my cold feet, fear of success, inertia, or whatever it is that keeps me stuck where I am. I do not take enough pride in my writing. I am doing what I did when I first graduated, happy to take any piddling amount above minimum wage despite it not being enough money to live on or what my skills are worth. It's what I felt they were worth. Part of me still feels that way. I'm charging $25 an hour on the job I don't know when I'll get paid for and that's the bottom of the technical writer's pay scale.

So it's time to make a change here too.

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The BookWorm

Anybody know how to discipline a cat?

Actually, I just need to stop him from jumping over heads. He didn't clear his back paw this morning, and I got a lovely surface scratch down my cheek.

I'm going to try for three laps today when I go walking. And I'm going to have to do something with the weekend schedule. I need one day of rest--as far as exercising goes--but I never make it out to the track on Saturday or Sunday.

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The BookWorm

Mondays are hard

Especially after a weekend of not getting to bed until after midnight. Friday night was a movie night at home. Saturday we went to the social and ended up at Kenn and Amy's for a sewing party. Sunday I did laundry, worked a couple of hours on the resource guide, and updated the Garb Closet.

Not that anyone cares about the sewing projects but me. And I have to get the photo hosting fixed with this paycheck.

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The BookWorm

Walking is Working

Not on the weight loss yet, but my muse is starting to wake up. I thought about a story on my laps yesterday.

The only problem is that it is an old story, maybe a decade old. And I still couldn't get it away from sounding like a D&D/Willion/dimension travelers from Earth pointless derivative. *Sigh*

A group of kids end up in a fantasy world where magic works and technology is nil. Typical. Have to go on a quest to find the Key. Typical. The Key controls portals between dimensions, had shut them off when it was created, but now strange creatures are returning. The heroes fell through one of these tears too. The only way to get home is with the Key. Typical. A race called the Kablancs are the Willow refence and the other character I thought up was a half-elf ranger.

I'm better off sticking to outer space.

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The BookWorm

Batman Begins

If you enjoy your Batman the way he should be--dark, brooding, and intense--this is the movie you have been waiting for. My only nitpick is they should have used the Elfman signature score. It still screams Batman, second only to the old Adam West TV show theme.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the Adam West camp. And he really is a sweetheart of a horndog. But the movies should have never went there. Though I have revoked the death sentence on Joel Shaumaker because of "Pirates of the Carribean."

And I don't think all Superheroes should be "dark and brooding" as if that was some preresquite for being a superhero that appeals to adults or gets the good stories. Superman should be a boy scout if just to counter Batman's methods. Cause when you scratch the surface off you find that they are both men unwilling to see anyone die. One of Kingdom Come's many points.

On the other token, I think the Fantastic Four out to be more outspoken about mutant rights, since they're so willing to be buddy-buddy with the X-Men as long as they're not seen doing it. Course I have no idea what the current Marvel universe is doing, flipped through one cominc and apparantly some towns are becoming mutant havens.

From the trailers: "Serenity" from Joss Whedon--Mr. "Buffy and Angel" as well as a few other dozen screenwriting credits--looks stupendous. "The Skeleton Key" looks like it will be a decent horror flick, but I don't think they'll get the practice of Voodoo right. "Dukes of Hazzard" does look like a lot of fun, though Bo and Luke weren't as stupid as the movie is probably going to make them and Jessica Simpson should have died her hair. Though I was fascinated by the movie poster. The General Lee was clean. Even the tires were clean. They reflected the title off the hood. It's still jarring.

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The BookWorm

Feels like forever

Okay I know it hasn't been, but time is always so full. Hope this isn't a sign I'm addicted to the busy drug.

Walking Progress: June 9 = 2293 steps, June 10 = 2525 steps, June 11 = missed, June 12 = went plantation walking and didn't keep track, June 13 = 4197 steps in 2 laps!

I'm counting all the steps from when I get out of the car till I get back in it, minus a few as a change clothes. Unfortunately, today is a bust. The soap packed in my gym bag (for when I need to shower after swimming; I know it's after July 1st I just didn't want to unpack it) came open and covered my toiletries bag. Luckily, it was in a separate compartment of the gym bag, but I didn't get a chance to clean anything last night.

Started a financial diary of sorts. I get these really good plans or take really good notes, and then lose them. So far the diary is acting like an unpublishable blog. I'm good with keeping blogs, but there are limits of what I will make available online. It's forcing me to writing down what I want and how I want to get there, which cements it or shows the flaws of the plan.

Plantation walking: Chad and I visited Audubon State Park for the Oakley Plantation House and Rosedown Plantation for the gardens. Oakley is the best example of the Creole architecture we're thinking of redoing my house in. I'll add pictures as soon as I get the hosting stuff worked out. Chad's enthuastic about the matching landscape--meaning formal gardens and kitchen garden and slave quarters. I put my foot down about the slave quarters. Not if he wants a castle folly. And no to his idea of turning the place into a bed and breakfast and house people in the slave quarter look-alikes. I like bed and breakfasts, but running one? To his credit he recognizied I don't have the personality traits for it, as well as coupled with my cornerstone belief that my house is sanctuary from everything else in the world. And he really wants a castle.

The gardens I can agree more with. There's something to the self-sufficiency argument as well as fresh produce. And formal layout can be visually stimulating. And it all can work well with Feng Shui concept of outdoor rooms and changing vistas. The problem? I know I don't have anytime to devote to a garden (my current green thumb projects are planted in the yard with a healthy watering and a hearty "good luck"), and I known what Chad's Faire Site gardens look like and he's there to take care of them. There's no money for landscaping service and I don't know how I feel about dumping gravel to make paths in the yard. I doubt that worries the St. Augustine much, we dumped gravel on top of that grass for my driveway and it still grew through it.

My ambelivence is getting better about what to do in the creek ravine. Which means I'm actually considering the options and not just having my stomach tie up in knots at the thought of doing anything. Funny, I get that feeling more about the landscaping than the thought of jacking up the house and making it two stories.

One more note before I have to get back to work. I think the 600mg of calcium is working to relieve PMS. I need to get some other feedback on my mood swings, and the exercise may have some part of it, but I really think I haven't been as snarly this week.

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The BookWorm

3 years?

Heather Sellers says it takes three years for her to fully ingrain a new habit as part of her life. I hope it doesn't take that long for me.

Day 2 went much better. I found my biking shorts, which ended the chafing and ride up issue. If those lycra shorts ever die I'm in serious trouble. Apparantly all biking clothes for us common riders is now made of cotton cause it breathes. I guess I'll just have to shop where Lance Armstrong does. 2069 steps; I don't know where the extra hundred came from since I actually stepped off the track more my first day. They went to all the trouble of putting in the complete work out stations and I had to see what the piles of non-maintained wood was.

I'm also on a reading spurt. Yes, I had a library splurge looking for resource guide sources. The Mothman Prophecies I picked up because I knew about the Mothman phenomena from my research in Bigfoot and Nessie, and remembered the Richard Gere movie coming out in 2001. Haven't seen the movie, and it always struck me as weird for Hollywood to decide to do a movie on a giant winged thing that terrorizied a town in West Virginia in the 1960s. There was a lot of UFO of the regular variety--strange lights doing strange things--going on in the same local, but Keel was one of the few investigators to put it together. Fascinating read, but I'm still lost as to why a movie?

Currently working through the Female Stress Syndrome Survival Guide. I'm going to buy copies of the book for Christmas presents. Things that I always knew were out-of-sync and horrible way to treat people--my damn temper tantrums for example--are stressed induced, not a sign of mental incompetence. There was episodes where crazy seemed to be the only solution. Yes, I'm going to be taking Dr. Georgia Witkin's stress management advice. Apparantly, my get off my butt exercise decision is a step in the right direction for that. I'm already sleeping better.

I've got about two or three chapters in the Survival Guide left, so I started the 9 steps to Financial Freedom by Suze Orman. I've read her column and another book, and she doesn't try to confuse you with all the options. And she recognizes the psychological power people give money. I know I do. I stress when I don't have any, go on buying binges, get more stressed, raised and the oldest so I always knew there never was enough money and there never will be enough. You get tired of living that way. And since it looks like I will be the primary breadwinner for a long time--with or without a mate--I have to fix me and my attitudes.

At lunch I should finish the "World View of the Renaissance" without turning it into a theological lecture. Fascinating stuff too, once you get past Tillyard's prose, but I don't want to overwhelm them.

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The BookWorm

First day of walking

Did one lap yesterday which equaled 1960 steps. I'm working up to the 10,000 steps a day. I need to go around the North Oak Park track 6 times to get that and then some. I also found out that the pool is closed for renovations until June 30th.

Daily writing took a hit since I was exhausted and crawled into bed by 8pm. Not really surprised by the exhaustion since I stayed up till 11pm reading The Mothman Prophecies Monday night. Very little about the Mothman and I still don't understand how they made a Hollywood movie out of it, but I am intrigued by his theories on the UFO phenomena and how it correlates to legends and myths from ages long ago. Intrigued enough to go find some more books by John Keel.

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The BookWorm

Weekends and Dealing with Rejection

I finished the sample Resource Guide Saturday. And I think it looks pretty damn good for only being 1/4th of the final product. There's 21 sections of the Resource Guide--not counting the Table of Contents. As of Saturday, I've finished 5 sections (the text not the questions, vocabulary puzzles, and potential activities), and started on 4 more. That does leave 12 sections I haven't done anything for, barely even researched. It's coming along nicely though. As of Saturday (Sunday I took a break), I'm owed $1937.50. I'm only charging $25 an hour, which is the low end of technical writer's pay and I fully expect to be getting paid on this long after the founders of RLHC have retired and moved onto something else. Especially when I have to edit content for different Faires of different time periods.

On the negative side, it's teeth grinding to realize I have to wait for this money I have earned because RLHC can't pay me right now. What makes it so teeth grinding is I'm overdrawn and hanging on till payday. When I do get this money I have to be smart with it. Reminder: go read both Suze Orman book and actually follow the advice! I can feel my resistance starting already.

Page After Page clued me into resistance. It's a great word to sum up all the negativity facing a new change. You don't want to change even when you know you should. It's a matter of recognizing it for what it is, fear.

I have a huge resistance to exercise. But nearly killing myself at the lake yesterday was scarier than the resistance. Wheezing cause you're out of breath and swimming do not mix. I think I've finally figured out a way to get back to the walking routine I had in college, timewise, and maybe combined with some swimming in a pool where I can get out if having the breathing problem again. The only drawback I see is Mustard will probably hate me because he won't get to go outside.

I will have to start that on Tuesday though. I just made a list of what I need to pack. Of course I had this brainwave during the morning commute. And I have a doctor's appointment. I'm afraid after I get done there, and go home to change, it will be dark by the time I get to the park, when it closes.

Rejection and resistance wreck havoc on my writing life too. I'm a writer, I have no problem with that. I've been a writer since I was eleven-years-old. But that has always been tied with the correllation of getting the byline somewhere. The recognition. The ability to thrust some paper in my condenscending relatives' faces and say "I'm the Coates that counted for something!" What, you didn't think revenge played a part?

Heather Sellers points out in a chapter of Page After Page that publication doesn't matter. You should pull your self-worth as a writer from your daily writing life, and look at publishing as a bonus perk. A "yeah I have readers" moment. A hobby because putting your butt in the chair and writing everyday is really what matters. She's right, and I'm not going into my struggles with the daily writing now.

This is about my submission process, or rather how I send out a peice, it's rejected, and I crumble and don't want to send out anymore. Even the rejected one to the next on its list. Yes, I know this is horrible and bad and hurting me from growing as a writer. How will I learn what is wrong with my writing if I never let it out of my sight? I know all this, and find ways to fill my time so I don't do magazine research, or even paste a label on the bloody envelope and take it to the post office.

Along with her advice of treating publication as a thrill, Sellers gives her strategy: two big submissions sendouts a year. Everything that's good goes out for an average of seventeen drafts. When a peice trickles back, she finds there's two reactions to it. The peice has cured and she sees what's wrong with it. Or she doesn't and back out it goes. She says her rule is: "No rejected work spends the night in my house. (This rule works wellin dating as well as creative writing.)" (page 201) She's concentrating on the smart things in writing life: writing everyday and submitting.

So I'm going to try it her way. A summer submission fest and a winter. July 15th everything that's remotely sellable goes out. January 15th will be the winter date.

Now to concentrate on writing time and fiscal responsibility.

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The BookWorm

My head hurts

Possibly because I feel like my brain has been pulled out through my eyesockets. I have spent the entire morning searching for pictures for the resource guide. I was trucking along on it last night, so much so that when I looked at a clock it was 10pm. I could have sworn I only spent an hour at it last night. But the computer's clock is accurate.

I don't even remember what I was searching for. I just started grabbing everything in the time period, especially if it wasn't nobility.

In other news, we got the check scanners working at the paying job. Due to fears that my blog might be grounds for dismissal, I won't say what I think of the things. Just be sure to stop me when I bring a battle axe to work. Trust me, I'll thank you for taking it away later.

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The BookWorm

Where Was I?

Finished the "Crime and Punishment" section of the Resource Guide. Except for an extra bibliography recommended by Fritze (no idea if I'm spelling his name right) to add, I'm finished with the material that is reusable from 2004.

I want to rewrite the "A Pirate's Life For Me" section and add another privateer, but I don't think I have time for that before the Miss. Teacher's Conference Chad wants to hand something Resource Guide-ish out at. It's next week.

I'm going to concentrate on format issues and adding graphics first. Once that's done, I'll go back to working on the various sections of text I have left. Point is I want something that is ready to go by tonight, even if we end up adding to it.

I found a note in my car notebook that I was worried about focusing. That's true, I think I have lost some of the drive that kept me focused on one project till it was finished. But having gone through the office, it's more an organizational issue. I need to finish updating the files. I'm close, but not through yet.

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The BookWorm