Friday, March 08, 2013

I Need More Self-Correcting Clocks

Oh good, I don't have to be my mother's entertainment this weekend; Dad is coming too. *Sigh* I don't gamble, so what I get out of these trips is peace and quiet without my usual distractions to write. However, when I took Mom the last trip, I discovered that even when I gave her the television, had all my papers covering the table at the hotel window (best light), and was hunched over them with pen in hand, she still had to talk and talk and talk and TALK because I was THERE! She was supposed to be napping; she came back to the room to nap!

I love her, but Dad's ears will be there for her to yak to and I will be using the mp3 player and earphones to enforce my writing time. Hopefully, I'll avoid the papers-absorbing-cigarette-smoke this time.

This is one of those free association posts, but it will sound like I'm bashing the 'rents. I'm not, but… okay, here's the story. Dad came to me with a request earlier this week: to look up my grandfather's insurance policies and see what is what with them. To which, he didn't even have to finish the request because I was already giving the answer that we all have to give the public who is confused about what the Department of Insurance actually does. "We don't track what policies the citizens of Louisiana have bought; we regulate the companies and agents who sell the insurance." The spiel can get longer, but that's essentially what many people want and we can't it give them. So Dad's just as confused as many other citizens; no big deal.

Except… except, I've been working there twelve years come May. And you guys have never asked me about details so you know what I do and who I work for? I don't feel hurt, but rather a pull between two voices in my head once I had that realization. Voice One: *Shrug* Maybe the DOI should address how confused people are about what we do. Voice Two: Let it go. You know you're not the kid they give a shit about, so why are you even surprised? They don't know anything important to you and it's safer that way.

I know this is a situation to listen to Voice One. But Voice Two is inside me, and I'm more puzzled that I have this need to hide what's important to me and protect it from everyone.

Okay, enough serious shit this early in the morning. I have to go put my hours in on the paying job. I'm not looking forward to Daylight Savings Time this weekend either. I also need to review things I have read AND answer people's birthday wishes. Pete's sake, why is that making me freeze up?

Read Free!
The BookWorm

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