Number Crunching 148

Quicken Cash Flow = 402.29
STEF Total = 306.20

February Budget Meeting

Reconciling Quicken with bank statements: Done.
Reconciling last month’s budget: Again I’m not bothering with my categories this month. I’ll probably pick that back up again in March.
Leftover amount = -1.38
Creating next month’s budget: Done.
How much cash can I have: Didn’t figure that out.
Automatic payments: Everything was paid and next month’s payments are set up.
Reviewing short-term savings goals: Still trying to get the STEF.
Update NetworthIQ statements:

Update NCN Savings Chart:

Overview and plans:

1. Update the Bills List with all current accounts and passwords. Found out that Chase Student Loans, Nationstar, Mozy.com, and Netflix are not on it.


2. Tweak the NetworthIQ statement once I have verified the balances for
   • Sallie Mae
   • Chase Student Loans
   • Republic Finance
   Citifinancial
   • Nationstar Mortgage

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Life's latest hiccup

Saturday Feb 21st, my harddrive crashed. I had already implemented automatic backups, so the only data I lost was the graphic files I had been working on that morning. I had to reformat and reinstall Windows. Thanks for that birthday present. :p

As of today, my birthday, I have downloaded all my data files from Mozy.com and off the D drive. Unfortunately, I never considered saving all the program files so I still have to reinstall all my programs. I'm trying to cut that list down and I'm also trying to find the data files I don't have to have on the harddrive. I had previously cleaned out My Pictures and My Podcasts, now it's time to be ruthless on some other folders.

Unfortunately, since I don't have the programs available to me, I haven't been doing everything I need to do like finances and the Faulkner paper. I hoping to at least reinstall one program to make a dent in those piles tonight.

Yeah, I think I'm going ahead and buying the external harddrive soonish instead of trying to hold it back for a reward. Apparently I need more storage space.

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Okay, I'm so over feeling like this

I passed out Saturday giving blood for lab work, and I really haven't felt right since. I really want to tell Murphy to stop fucking with my health/body. I hate needles and syringes. I come from a family of diabetics and have to keep my blood monitored. The strong veins in my elbows have decided to play hide 'n seek with the nurses, so now the blood has to be drawn out of my hand which hurts worse and bruises so I can't even wear a watch. And to top it all off now I have a history of passing out so I have to do all this laying down now.

Not happy with that scenario at all, no.

Faulkner idea: His ideas of past not even past and how that correlates with incest as a theme and a cycle to repeat.

I have so got to come to grips with this. 15 to 20 pages final product, so let's build a 10 page paper out of just my ideas on this topic before scrambling for the outside sources.

Course everything would be better if I hadn't decided to take a holiday this weekend. Yes, all the fun stuff I haven't missed about school is coming forth: making me feel guilty and resentful when I'm not subscribing to the Puritan work ethic. Even right now, I'm feeling guilty because I'm not working on something else!

Wise Self: *Pulls hair* Just quit that already! I'm so tired of being my personal bad guy. What is the worse that can happen?

I don't graduate and get proved as a big fat failure.

Wise Self: How likely is that to happen?

Very if I don't finish the projects. Very even if I do finish the projects.

Wise Self: Now why is that?

Eer... because I'm a stupid fat failure. Right, lousy excuse. I'd rather work on fiction. hell, I'd rather wash dishes than deal with Faulkner.

Wise Self: You know, every time you get into a state of dreading something, it never turns out as bad as you thought it would be.

I know, I know. i don't know why I'm fighting this so hard.

Wise Self: Because when you fear failure, you deliberately self-sabotage your way to failure.

Stop sounding so smug about it.

Wise Self: Sorry, but you know what you have to do.

Stop avoiding Faulkner. have it be the first thing I do in the morning and last thing I do at night.

Wise Self: Yes, that's probably for the best. It'll turn out well. And since you came to your senses so quickly, finish the soundtrack art tonight. You have three left to do, you can finish them in an hour since you don't need to hunt for parts of images any more. Finish early and you can probably find a thesis statement before bedtime.

That took a peculiar turn, but a productive one. I'll have to remember that technique.

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Because I need to remember this!

1) Hold onto the things that make life fun for you. Don’t let yourself get so immersed in your work that you give up your hobbies. Force them into your schedule. If you’re just staring at a computer getting nothing done, get up and do something completely unproductive that you love!

2) Make time for relationships. I’m really blessed that I actually like my in-laws, so spending a week with them was great. It helped me ask what was missing from my life. If you’re spending whole days on your own or just with your partner/family, you need to get out. Try to do something with people other than the ones you live with at least once a week.

3) Talk yourself through the guilt you’re feeling. I found cognitive behavioral therapy a real life-saver when I was depressed. I still use some of the concepts, like writing down why I feel guilty. I was able to see that I felt guilty because I worried that if I didn’t work all the time we wouldn’t have any money and I would never be successful. Came up with a whole list of fears. So then I’d write lists of facts, like that our income was greater than our expenses. And that I wrote better posts when I’d spent time away from the computer. And that since I didn’t have a billion clients, I didn’t have 24/7 work available anyway.

4) Leave things alone. I learned that my blog doesn’t stop getting visitors even if I don’t have a new post every day. I don’t even have to login and neurotically make sure the plugins are all up-to-date, etc. I don’t have to leave comments if I don’t have the time and energy. Don’t leave them alone forever, of course, but be aware that the world doesn’t stop running when you step away from the computer…which is good.

Realities of Freelancing: You Set Your Own Hours - by MrsMicha

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Conquering Procrastination

*Snort* I meant to start this post yesterday. Yeah, the patheticness of that is not lost on me, thanks.

So strategy to conquer the procrastination? Do I even have one? Can I even implement one?

I’ve gotten really good at making my weekly to do list, and recognizing what Big Rocks and everyday chores need to be done. The problem is I’ll still leave it on the list for weeks not doing it. Scolding myself is ineffective and nagging guilt sends me running to something that doesn’t make me feel guilty. Which just keeps the procrastination ongoing.

I will admit to piling too much on my plate. I just counted up eighteen things that qualify as Big Rocks on this week’s to do list, but only six are identified as Big Rocks. Frell. So how come whenever the “too much to do ack! Runaway!” is tripped, it doesn’t alert the rest of my consciousness? A memo would be nice.

Okay, so let’s by shuffling the to do list. From an older copy of the file I had on the flash drive no less. Now on my current printout, correctly identify all Big Rocks. Next step is to make a space big enough on the sheet to hold them all. Now I need to tweak the format so it will print out on one sheet.

That done, and now the Big Rocks don’t seem to be panic inducing. I still have too much on the list, but all in one spot instead of scattered on different days gives me the illusion of control at least. I’ll take it. So now that they are in one spot, what is wrong that I keep not doing them?

Finances: 7
Planning reviews: 3
Writing: 3
Exercise and Health: 3
School: 2

Why is it finances that seem to be the big honking one I don’t do? I obviously need to move some of those to the Master List of Finance Projects to get to later.

In less serious news, I finally have enough money to complete the set of plastic stackable drawers of doom for my home office, Sterlite quit making them. I even checked their website. Which totally sucks because I already have four and have not found a replacement style that stacks with those four for the other seven I want.

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Crap, a whole new month

I never intend to go missing or stop doing things or just plain procrastinate what is on the list to do. I don’t know how to make it stop or rather how to stop doing it.

Today has been fun. While practicing cover-my-own-ass, I ended up bringing down some heat on other people. Totally unexpected consequences but I’m unrepentant about my first response and how high up it went. I actually wasn’t yelling to get moved to the front of the line, but yelling because the procedure is broken and needs to be fixed.

Continuing on this theme: February 7, 2009

I have so avoided anything at SLU for going onto a second month. I’ve been reading, but haven’t found anything to write on! And it’s making me feel very panicky. That makes me want to dive headfirst into fiction and not come out. I’m actually compromising on that feeling with this post.

Problems with Faulkner: I think it stems between the difference between a critic and a writer. A critic studies literature for theme and with the literary theory readings (seen through Freud, New Criticism, Feminism, etc.). A writer studies literature to figure out how can I do what the author does to use in my writing. There’s some overlap, but overall two very different outcomes. I’m a writer being forced into producing criticism.

Yes, I had classes on this, and I still took the stance of a writer/detective fan and how the character did not work for me. I even quoted Van Dine’s rules. Then I get into the whole loop thinking of how can I produce anything on Faulkner that the pros haven’t done better? I should have sucked up my dislike of the other professor and worked on the Dante paper instead. I should have seen if I could’ve restarted a fiction thesis this semester! *Sigh* Too late now.

Looking at my schedule. I have two hours open now, but I can’t completely avoid the fiction. I NEED fiction. So I’m stealing away at least fifteen minutes on fiction, as a keeping me from going crazy. I hope this works.

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